


Get to Know You Better

by Jubilee44



Series: Marvel Actor RPFs [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Awkwardness, Drunk Sex, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, First Meetings, Homophobic Language, Injury, LGBTQ Character, Making Out, Marriage, More like one night stan, New York City, One Night Stands, Single Parents, Subways, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:49:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 46,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubilee44/pseuds/Jubilee44
Summary: Gabrielle has a nine-year-old son who is a huge Captain America fan. He notices one of the actors on the subway and loudly points it out to her. That’s when Gabrielle realizes that actor was the man she had a one-night-stand with the week before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All work is fiction and in no way associated with any real-life events. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. Do not repost, translate, or rework.

 

            New York was a big place. It didn’t take a genius to figure that it was nearly impossible to run into the same person twice. Especially if you’ve had drunken sex with said person. And he also happened to be famous.

            But I was too drunk to know he was famous, and we were too busy to talk about our careers.

 

            It was a rare occasion to have the night to myself. My nine-year-old was with my parents for the weekend so I had two nights to relax. Or at least, I did, until my friends decided they wanted to take me out. It was tough being a single parent and it didn’t help that I had James at nineteen. While my other friends were just getting married or thinking about kids, I had already gone through nursing, potty training, the terrible twos, and hundreds of other milestones. At times I felt like I didn’t quite fit in but nevertheless, I had a good time with my friends.

           

            “What the hell is this?” I held the neon pink drink up to the dim bar lights.

            “I don’t know, it had some stupid name. Does it matter?” My best friend, Isabel, asked.

            “I guess not.” I shrugged and took a sip. “It’s super sweet.”

            “Well, it probably still has a lot of alcohol in it. I thought you wanted to get tanked.”

            I laughed and shook my head. “ I never said that. I said I wanted to go out with you guys, not get tanked.”

            Isabel just took a sip of her drink. “Same difference. Oh, fuck.” She grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

            “What?” I just barely kept my drink from spilling.

            “Jesus Christ, that man has to be a model. What even is he?”

            I scanned the crowded bar but wasn’t sure who she was talking about. “Where?”

            “Leather jacket, of fucking course he’s wearing a leather jacket. He’s by the high tops.” She pointed him out.

            Once I caught sight of him, I physically felt the air leave my lungs. “Holy…”

            “Right?” Isabel giggled. “Too bad I’m taken…oh wait, my ultra-super-hot-best friend isn’t!”

            “Oh, God no. He deserves a supermodel girlfriend, not someone like me.” I shook my head and set my drink down on the bar counter. “I’m flattered though.”

            “Bullshit, he looks sweet. He would probably kill to have a woman like you.”

            “A woman with a nine-year-old?” I raised an eyebrow.

            “Like a man has never wanted to date a single mother.” She rolled her eyes at me.

            I glanced back over at the man for a second and sighed. It was a nice daydream but I lived in reality. I went back to grab my drink and take a long gulp. “I need something stronger,” I muttered.

            Isabel gasped. “He’s looking at you!” She squeaked.

            “What?” I looked over my shoulder and sure enough, his eyes were on me. “He’s probably looking at you.” I dismissed.

            “No way, those eyes are locked on you, my dear.” She giggled. “Go talk to him!”

            “That’s fine, he’s probably busy.”

            “Busy at a bar?”

            “You know what I mean. Leave me alone.”

            “I will if you talk to him.”

            I groaned and threw back the rest of the pink drink. “I don’t…”

            “Too late, he’s coming to you!” Isabel squealed. “You look hot, remember that!” She snatched her drink in a hurry and abandoned me by the bar.

            “Wait, I…” I felt my stomach tie up in knots. I hadn’t flirted with a guy in years. I tried the online dating but decided I was looking in all the wrong places. Maybe I just needed a win. If it was a one-night stand then so be it.

           

            “Hey.”

            In the blink of an eye, he was standing in front of me, talking to me, and looking dead at me. I couldn’t dispute it anymore. He was interested in something.

            “Hi.” My voice sounded a bit alienish out loud.

            “Can I buy you a drink?” He asked with a small smile on his lips.

            My heart beat a little faster when I saw he was even more attractive up close. His dark hair looked so soft and his eyes were gentle. He had a sharp jawline and had a bit of stubble on his chin and cheeks. I imagined how it would feel against my skin…

            _What the hell? Uh, keep it in your pants._

            I cleared my throat and nodded. “Yeah, sure.” I tried not to let my eyes wander and take a scan of his whole body. I had no doubt that it was just as perfect as his face was.

            He sat where Isabel was sitting at the bar. “I’m not taking your friend’s seat, am I?” He asked.

            Polite too? Unreal. “No, she probably went back to the group.” I waved off his concern.

            “Oh okay.” He nodded. “I’m Sebastian.”

            “Gabrielle.”

            “It’s nice to meet you, Gabrielle.” He smiled more and waved over the bartender. “You can put her on my tab.” He said.

            “Oh, no…” I shook my head.

            “It’s fine.” He assured me. “I want to get to know you better.”

            I raised an eyebrow in surprise. I wasn’t sure if anyone had said they wanted to get to know me better. “Okay…”

            “Sorry, if that’s coming on too strong.” He laughed softly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just…you know when you see a person who you think you might click with?”

            I nodded. “Yeah, I think I know what you mean.”

            “I guess that’s what I thought when I saw you.” He shrugged sheepishly.

            “Well, I’d like to get to know you better too,” I replied softly.

            He smiled warmly. “Alright, how ‘bout another round and we’ll begin?”

 

            Getting to know each other turned into drinking a lot. Which turned into dancing. Which turned into heavy hints about what we both wanted to do.

            But he seemed hesitant like he was waiting for something. So I decided to throw him a line. As we danced, I stood my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

            “Want to get out of here?” The age-old words that meant ‘let’s go have sex’.

            “Yeah, let me pay.” He said and let his hands slip from my waist.

            In my tipsy state, I suddenly realized I hadn’t had sex in a good four years. The last time had been with a man I thought would accept that I was a single mother. I turned out to be wrong. I usually was when it came to relationships.

            Almost in a panic, I rushed over to my friends. “I’m going to go fuck that guy.”

            They squealed happily. They seemed a little more intoxicated than I was. “Oh sweetheart, I’m so happy for you.” Isabel grabbed onto my shoulders for balance. “Listen, listen, listen. You give him the good stuff, okay? Let your wild side show.” She slurred. “And you call me with all the info tomorrow morning.”

            “Okay.” I started to turn.

            “Wait!” Isabel clumsily dug through her purse. “Here.” She handed me a condom. “Just in case he’s fresh out.”

            I felt my cheeks burning as I stuffed the package into my purse. “Thanks.”

            “Wait, wait!” She grabbed more. “He looks like he’s got some good stamina.” She started tossing more at me. “You better be prepared for a long night, sweetie.”

            “Stop, oh my God, why do you have so many of these?” I exclaimed and decided to leave before Sebastian saw my best friend throwing condoms at me.

           

            We figured out that Sebastian’s place was closer and took a cab. He didn’t waste any time and started kissing me in the backseat.

            I felt a thrill I hadn’t in such a long time. Feeling his hand on my cheek as he parted his lips. The hairs on my neck stood up and it was almost as if his touch sent little electric sparks right to my toes.

            The ride to his apartment seemed too short, but I knew that wasn’t the end of the night. If I was lucky, of course.

            We rode the elevator up to his floor and I was finding it difficult to keep my hands off of him. Fortunately, I wasn’t the only one and he pressed me up against the elevator wall. Our kisses got more frantic as the car climbed up the floors.       Finally, the doors opened and Sebastian took my hand, leading me out to the hallway. He cursed a few times as he fumbled with the lock. I giggled and tried to wait patiently. After a few tries, he unlocked the door and let me inside.

            I grabbed him by his shirt, too full of lust to be polite. Sebastian didn’t seem to care and he took my face in his hands to kiss me deeper. We stumbled over ourselves a bit as we found the couch.

            I’d already managed to get his leather jacket and shirt off, while he was too busy kissing me. I straddled his hips on the couch, breaking the kiss.

            “Holy shit.” I blurted as I saw his abs. “I knew it.”

            He smirked and reached up to return the favor, getting rid of my dress.

            And for a moment, I wasn’t the responsible woman who always thought of her son first. I was being reckless for the first time since I was nineteen. I knew I would regret it the next morning, but in the heat of the moment, I couldn’t even care.

                       

            It wasn’t a surprise when I woke up with a massive hangover. I grimaced and pinched my eyes shut for a few seconds. When I opened them, I found myself in a luxurious bedroom. I was twisted in some silky sheets with Sebastian’s arm around me. I glanced over and discovered he was just as beautiful in daylight. And when he was asleep too.

            He didn’t look even close to waking up. His lips were parted, his hair was tousled, and he snored quietly. I stifled a laugh. As much as he looked drop-dead gorgeous the night before, it turned out he was equally adorable the morning after.

            But I couldn’t stay long. Although it wasn’t said out loud, I knew it was just a one-night thing. It was probably lucky that he was still asleep; I could leave quietly and take the walk of shame back home.

            I gathered my things, putting on the dress from the night before. I walked out into the rest of the apartment and was pretty surprised. I hadn’t noticed for a second that I was in such a high-end place. I realized he must have been a model or at least a really good-looking business guy. For a second, I thought about how nice it would be to raise James in wealth like this. But I was kidding myself.

            I let Sebastian a note, thanking him for a good night, and left. I was dead wrong to think that was the end of it.

 

            “Mom…that’s the guy from Captain America.”

            “Who…oh God no.”


	2. Chapter 2

            I was sitting on the subway next to my son. It was just like every other weekday morning. I was going to drop him off to school before heading to work. It was supposed to be a typical morning. It was a week after my bar night with friends. A week after I slept with a near stranger. And a week after I made the walk of shame.

            I went about my days trying to make it seem like everything was normal. But there was a part of my mind that kept wandering back to Sebastian.

            His eyes.

            His smirk.

            His kisses.

            His hands as they…

            Damn it.

 

            It was over. I didn’t have his number and he didn’t have mine. I would never see him again; the chances were slim to none. I sighed and reached over to smooth James’s hair back. He just tilted away from me a bit as he continued playing on his hand held video game.

            I smiled and remembered when he used to be mama’s little boy. He had always been a shy kid, never cried much, and spent most of his time watching from afar. That was how he learned, by observing silently. He didn’t need to ask questions. He could pick up anything within minutes. I was always so proud to have such an intelligent son, but I worried about the day he started wondering about his father.

            His good for nothing father.

            James put his game down and started glancing to his right. He did so every few seconds. I watched him for a moment, trying to figure out what he was doing. That’s when I realized he was staring at the man beside him.

            I nudged him. “It’s not polite to stare.” I reminded him quietly.

            “But mom,”

            “What?”

            “Mom…that’s the guy from Captain America.”

            “Who?” I got a good look at him from the side and it felt like a brick was hitting me. “Oh my God.”

            “Right?” James smiled.

            I knew he was a fan of Captain America but I hadn’t seen much of the movies. And if I had, I probably still wouldn’t have realized Sebastian was in them.

            Sebastian seemed to hear us and he glanced over. He smiled at my son and his eyes moved to me. He looked surprised to say the least. “Hey.”

            “Hey.” I cleared my throat and tried to think of something to do. There weren’t many guides to running into your one-night-stand again. “I uh…oh, this is my son, James.”

            “I have the same name as your character.” James said.

            “Wow, that’s so cool.” Sebastian smiled. “You like Marvel?”

            “Yeah a lot.”

            “He has all the action figures and Legos.” I said and felt my nerves build up. It was really good to know that the man I had slept with was not only successful and attractive, but he was an actor.

            “That’s awesome. You wouldn’t want to come on set and meet the rest of the Avengers, would you?” Sebastian tilted his head to the side.

            His eyes went wide and he looked to me for an answer. My mouth opened slightly and I weighed the choices between making my son super happy, or being uncomfortable. My son always came first.

            “That would be really fun.” I put a hand on James’s shoulder.

            “Do you have time for coffee?” Sebastian asked hopefully, his eyes on mine.

            “I uh…”I bit my lip. I didn’t have a meeting until before lunch so I technically could go in later. “Yeah, okay.”

           

            “You just left…you didn’t leave your number.” Sebastian started once we sat in silence for a few moments.

            I traced the outer rim of my latte cup. I cleared my throat to buy some time before I answered. I scratched my temple and kept my eyes down. I didn’t know why I felt guilty for not staying. In the moment, I really thought we had no strings attached. But as the week had gone on, I regretted not at least writing my number down on the note.

            “I guess I figured you wouldn’t want my to stick around. I left because you were still sleeping and I just…”

            “You thought it was a one-night thing.” He finished for me.

            I shrugged and took a deep breath. “Look, you don’t need to drag it on because I have a son.” I clarified. “In fact, most men run the other way when they find out about James.”

            “You didn’t tell me.” His voice wasn’t accusing, it was more curious. I guessed most people with kids talked about them first.

            “I’ve had a hard time dating in the past.” I explained. “I had him when I was nineteen and since then most guys get spooked. Some say they would be willing to try it out but they never go through with it. They always make up some bullshit excuse to make me feel better.”

            Sebastian nodded and clasped his hands together in front of his coffee. “I guess I can’t say that I would be the best fit for you. But I really enjoyed that night.”

            “We were both pretty drunk.” I reminded him with a small smile.

            “Well, true.” He chuckled. “But maybe we could try it again with less alcohol. Let me show you and James around the set. They’re filming in New York for a few days. Not everyone will be there but I can see how much of the cast would be willing to meet him.” He suggested. “Then we can get dinner together sometime.”

            It sounded like a dream come true and that was what scared me. Things that seemed to good to be true always were. I had fallen for things like that before. My nineteen-year-old self saw the world in a stupid boy. My twenty-five-year old self saw the world in a man who promised me everything.

            But I saw something different in Sebastian’s eyes. I may have been imagining it, but I saw honesty. “I’m very protective over James.” I said.

            He nodded. “That’s good.”

            “I’m not saying you need to marry me, but if you give him false hope then I’ll kick your ass. I don’t care if you’re an actor or not.” I warned.

            He grinned and nodded. “Fair enough. I promise, I would never try to hurt either of you.”

            I relaxed a little. “Alright…I’m sorry for just leaving.”

            “It’s okay, I understand why.” He tilted his head to the side as he gazed at me. “I was just a little disappointed to find my bed was empty the next morning.”

            I blushed a bit. “It wasn’t exactly easy to leave.”

            “You should’ve stayed.” He murmured and drew me in closer with his eyes.

            I leaned towards him over the table. “Yeah? You would’ve made me breakfast?” I teased.  

            He chuckled and nodded. “Probably. Anything you would’ve wanted, I would’ve done.”

            I felt my stomach clench and the lust from the prior week started to creep up on me again. Even completely sober, I wanted to jump over the table and rip his shirt off.

            Yikes…

            “What are you thinking about?” He seemed to realize I had dazed out. A hint of amusement played at the corner of his lips.

            “Um…” My cheeks went red and I tried to hide my embarrassment. I was sure he could pick up on it though. “You’re an actor, then?”

            He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I have been for a while. I guess the past few years I’ve been doing more high profile things.” He shrugged sheepishly. “It still feels unreal sometimes.”

            “I couldn’t handle that kind of life. I like my privacy.”

            He nodded slowly. “Yeah.” He glanced at my hands resting on the table in front of his. “Privacy isn’t easy to find these days.”

            I took a sip of my drink and tried to imagine being recognized everywhere I went.

            “I would like to have James meet everyone though. I’m sure Chris Evans would love to meet him.”

            “That would be so exciting for him.” I smiled. “I guess I probably should be more aware of all the actors and characters.” I winced. “But he’ll go on these long tangents about all the movies and I get lost sometimes.”

            “Don’t worry, I’ll try to give you the short version so you’re not totally lost.” He chuckled. “How much time do you have? I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

            “I don’t have a meeting until eleven.”

            “Great.”

 

            “Whoa!” James held onto my hand. “That’s a big camera.”

            “Yeah it is. That’s what they use to film.” I explained. “That’s cool, isn’t it?” I smiled. I looked around at the crowd of people all running around to certain locations to do certain jobs.

            “Hey!” Sebastian walked over. He was in normal clothes; he had explained earlier that he wasn’t filming in New York.

            James looked a little disappointed. “You don’t have the arm.” He said quietly.

            “Sorry bud, I’m not filming today. But I’ll see if props has one that I can show you.” He offered.

            “It’s more than enough that you let us on set.” I said. “He was so excited he hardly slept the night before.”

            James laughed shyly. “I want to see them do cool stunts.”

            “You’ll definitely see that.” Sebastian promised. “C’mon, Chris Evans is here.” He said and walked us over to a group of people.

            I saw the tall, bulky, blonde from behind and wondered where in the world they found such handsome actors.

            He turned around and smiled. He was in full costume, even though Sebastian said he wasn’t filming that day either. He was holding the large shield and looked like a life-sized version of the action figure in James’s room. I guess technically he _was_ the life-sized version.

            “Hey buddy!” He knelt down to get eye to eye with James.

            My son looked a little nervous and grabbed onto my leg. I laughed softly. “Go ahead, James.” I coaxed gently.

            He walked over and curiously reached out to touch the shield. “That’s really cool.” He said.

            “Want to hold it?” Chris asked. “Mom can take a picture.” He offered the prop to him.

            James looked a little overwhelmed with happiness as he took the shield. He beamed up at me as I pulled out my phone to take a picture.

            “Wow! You look great, James!” I exclaimed.

            He laughed and looked down at the shield, in total awe. Chris stood up, letting James hold it. “He seems like a great kid.” He said and went to shake my hand. “I’m Chris.”

            “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Gabrielle.” I smiled. “Thank you so much for doing this, it means the world to him.”

            “Of course, anything for my man here.” Chris clapped Sebastian on the back. “He said he met a nice, beautiful woman who had a son interested in Captain America.” He sent a wink at his friend.

            Sebastian winced. “Alright, thanks for embarrassing me.”

            I blushed and cleared my throat. “Well, I really appreciate it.”

            “I think they’re going to do a take, he can come watch if you want.” Chris offered.

            “Sure, James, go with Captain America.” I said and without hesitation, my son followed Chris over to the set.

            Sebastian and I hung back and watched them. James did his best to lug the shield along, which was almost the size of him. Chris knelt down next to him and pointed out a few things on the set.

            I glanced over at Sebastian. “So…beautiful?” I raised an eyebrow.

            “Well, I’m not blind and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s called you beautiful.” He smiled shyly.

            “You’re the first in a while.” I admitted.

            “Well that’s just dumb.”

            “Hm.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Father's day has always been a tough day for me and probably a lot of people too. Since it's coming up I figured I'd make something a little more positive. If you'd like, follow me on tumblr for the same fics and be added to my tag list! 
> 
> http://ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes.tumblr.com/

            One of the hardest days of the year for James and me was father’s day. When he was younger, James would constantly ask about where his dad was. As he got older he stopped asking and withdrew into himself when it came to the subject. I knew some kids from his school would sometimes ask about his father and it made him self-conscious.

            Most years I would plan something fun to maybe distract him from the day. This year I had been planning to take James out to his favorite restaurant and maybe a movie after. Then, Sebastian called. We had spent some time together. Often times we would meet up for a quick coffee between his filming schedules. He was traveling a lot so I didn’t have much time to commit to whatever our relationship was.

            It was strange, I didn’t want to latch on but felt compelled to. I had plenty reason not to trust men in my life, especially when it came to James. And it didn’t help that Sebastian was an actor. I couldn’t imagine what that would do to James and me.

            But I didn’t regret a second I spent with Sebastian. He was always so kind and considerate, that it made my worry slowly diminish.

 

            “Hey, are you back in New York?” I asked when I saw his name flash on my screen.

            “Yeah, for a few weeks.” His voice sounded energized. Usually, when he called and was in the middle of filming, he was exhausted.

            “That’s great, we can spend time together.” It felt like my entire day got a little better just by talking to him.

            “Yeah, do you want to get dinner Sunday?”

            I glanced over at the calendar on my desk. It was a standard one from my company so father’s day was already printed on it. “I was actually going to take James out for dinner. Father’s day is usually tough for him.”

            “Oh…right. I didn’t even realize that was this weekend. Well, we can find another time.”

            “Would you want to come with us?” I wondered and tapped my pen on the side of my calendar.

            “That’s okay, I don’t want to intrude if it’s a tough day for him.”

            I smiled and shook my head at his politeness. “Please, he still talks about you all the time. He adores you.”

            He chuckled over the phone. “I’m sure he talks about Chris and everyone else too.”

            “Sometimes, he talks about you the most though,” I told him. “He thinks you’re nice and he likes your character but I think he was surprised to find out how down to Earth you are.”

            Sebastian was quiet for a moment on the phone line. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking and hoped I hadn’t implied anything especially since we were talking about father’s day.

            Finally, he spoke.

            “Actually, I’d love to go to dinner with you both.”

 

            James was thrilled to hear that Sebastian would be joining us for dinner. He talked my ear off about how excited he was as we took the subway to his favorite restaurant. But of course, like before, when we arrived and saw Sebastian, he clammed up.

            “Hey, bud.” He smiled when he saw us walking over.

            James lagged behind me for a bit and looked at his feet shyly. I sighed and laughed softly. “How are you?”

            Sebastian kissed my cheek in a friendly manner and touched my arm. “Good, and you?”

            “We’re doing alright.” I smiled at James. “Your hair’s longer.” I noticed even though he had it pulled back in a ponytail.

            “Bucky has long hair, mom.” James reminded me.

            Sebastian chuckled and nodded. “It’s for filming. I’ll probably cut it after I’m done.”

            “I dunno I like it,” I said.

            “Then maybe I’ll keep it.” He smirked. “It changes a lot though so, we’ll see.” He opened the door and let us in.

 

            The restaurant was a small Italian place that James claimed had the best pizza. So we usually went there for special occasions like his birthday or when he got good grades in school.

            We cozied up in a small booth, Sebastian across from James and I. He reached into his pocket and held something out to James.

            “So, we were in Georgia filming and I had props make something for you, James.” He said and placed the object in his outstretched hand.

            James held it up and his eyes widened. “Whoa!”

            I didn’t recognize the necklace with claw-shaped ends. “Wow, that’s neat.”

            He rolled his eyes at me. “You don’t even know what it is.” He scoffed and put the necklace over his head.

            I laughed and nodded with a shrug. “Alright you got me there, tell me what it is.”

            “It’s the necklace that Black Panther wears. His suit is kept in the claws so he can suit up whenever.” My son explained to me like it was the simplest thing to understand.

            “Oh…right, I remember that in the movie,” I recalled. “Well, that’s very cool, make sure you say thank you.” I reminded him gently.

            James grinned. “Thank you.”

            “No problem.” Sebastian nodded. “I tried to get one of the copies that Chadwick wears but I figured it would probably be too big. I have to spend a lot of time with the prop people because of the arm so we’re close.”

            “I appreciate it,” I said and met his eyes. “It’s very thoughtful.”

 

            After a large pizza, James talking about Marvel, and Sebastian engaging in conversation with him, we decided to go out for ice cream. We walked to the nearest place, James still talking to Sebastian. His shyness had completely gone out the window. After we ordered, Sebastian pulled his wallet out.

            “I can pay for this,” I said and reached into my purse.

            “It’s fine, I got it.”

            “You paid for dinner.” I reminded him and continued digging for my wallet.

            “This is part of dinner.” He made up excuses as he pulled cash out.

            “No…Sebastian!” I groaned as he handed it over.

            “Sorry, too late.” He teased and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “You can get it next time.”

            “Oh really?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

            “Maybe.” He winked and we went out to a bench outside.

            James sat in between Sebastian and me, digging into his cookie dough ice cream. “I don’t really like today but this year it was good.” He said out of the blue.

            My mouth opened slightly but I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I was glad he wasn’t having as hard of a time this year but it made me upset knowing that he never talked openly to me. He stopped telling me how sad he was that he didn’t have a dad in his life. He never revealed any sort of loss but I knew it was there. He had to spend every day knowing his friends had fathers and he didn’t. I knew I wasn’t responsible for his father not being around but I still felt guilty. As a mother, I wanted to give him everything but couldn’t.

            “You know, James, I grew up without my dad too,” Sebastian said gently.

            I glanced over at him in surprise. It was something we hadn’t talked about before.

            James looked shocked too. “You didn’t?”

            He shook his head. “No, I just had my mom. But she was the best mom and I knew that she always had my back. Sometimes I wished I had my dad growing up but I’m glad that I’m where I am now. You have a really good mom who loves you very much. But…it’s okay to feel sad that you don’t have a father. Just know it’s not your fault and it’s not your mom’s fault.”

            My lower lip quivered and I looked down so neither James nor Sebastian saw tears in my eyes. I swallowed and did my best to compose myself.

            James nodded slowly and a small smile appeared on his face. “Okay.”

            Sebastian put a hand on his shoulder. “Anytime you need to talk to your mom or me, just let her know.”

            I took a deep breath and kissed James’s hair. “I love you very much,” I whispered softly.

            “I love you too, mom.” He leaned into my side.

            I glanced up at Sebastian who was smiling at me. I did everything I could to not cry but he wasn’t making it easy. He reached up and gently used his thumb to wipe a tear from my cheek.

            “Thank you.” I whispered to him.

            He only nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

            I thought I’d learned my lesson before. If things seemed too good to be true, they were. I could see the world in the eyes of another person but ultimately, that person would disappoint me.

            But Sebastian was like honey. He drew me in, was sweet, and ensnared me. Not that I was complaining. It had been so long since I’d had such a relationship and it was fun to indulge.

            He would take me out to dinner, we’d talk nonstop, and he’d kiss my cheek. It was a nice routine but there was always something inside of me that wanted more.

            I had to think about James though. He had started to withdraw again. If I were going to spend the night out, he would sulk the entire way to his grandparents’ house. I tried talking to him, making sure he didn’t mind if I left. I always reminded him that if he needed me, I would drop any and all plans. But he only told me to ‘just leave’ and stormed off.

            He was usually fine around Sebastian if he was ever around. They would talk about Marvel and James was happy at the moment. But afterward, when were on the subway back home, he would be quiet.

            My mother and I were obviously worried about him. I felt selfish and wondered if I should never have seen Sebastian in the first place.

           

            “James is growing up and I’m sure he’ll resist any change, especially when it comes to his mother. But you need to respect your feelings for this man as well.”

            She said to me over coffee one day.

            Her words didn’t calm my worries.

 

            It was a gorgeous summer day and I decided to pull James away from his video games and out into the sunshine. We went to the park and Sebastian offered to teach James how to throw a football.

            We found a quiet stretch of grass and I sat down on a nearby bench. They started off with Sebastian giving him a few pointers. I was glad to see James having a father figure in his life and I hoped he would take it well instead of trying to fight it. But I knew I couldn’t force him to like Sebastian as much as I did.

            “Alright, that was great!” Sebastian called after James threw him a pass. “You’re already getting the hang of it.”

            James smiled and caught the pass that Sebastian threw back at him. They continued playing for a bit and I could tell my son really enjoyed the sport. Before he hadn’t shown much interest in anything in particular. He liked Marvel and comics but when it came to school clubs or sports he hadn’t taken a liking.

            I stood up and walked over to them. “Look at you two!” I said proudly. “I bet you would put any father-son team to shame.”

            The smile wiped from James’ face. He glanced over at Sebastian and dropped the football. “You’re not my father.” He snapped and stormed off.

            My heart sank as I realized what I had implied. Sebastian looked just as guilty and he shook his head.

            “I’m sorry I shouldn’t…” He winced and ran a hand through his hair.

            “Just…” I bit my lip and started to chase after my son. “James!”

 

            He wouldn’t look at me the whole ride back home.

            He went right to his room and slammed the door.

            He didn’t respond to my knocks.

            My offer of making dinner.

            My apologies.

            Nothing.

            He locked the door and I begged for him to open it.

            Eventually, I had to use my parental overrule and used the spare key over the doorjamb to unlock it. I walked in and found him already asleep in bed.

            His eyes were red from crying and a small book poked out from under his mattress.

            Curious, I knelt down and carefully slipped the book out from under the bed. The cover looked familiar but I hadn’t seen it in years.

 

            _Columbia 2007_

           

            I opened the photo album and found pictures of all my college friends. The ones who said they would support me when I found out I was pregnant. The ones who decided I wasn’t fun anymore when I spent nights caring for James and not going out with them. The ones who didn’t want to listen when I talked about James’ milestones.

            I sighed under my breath and turned the page again.

            And there he was. The no-good-son-of-a-bitch-stupid-idiotic-deadbeat.

            It was probably why I tossed the album into a closet and forgot about it. I hated seeing his face. The smug smile. The soulless eyes. James didn’t have his eyes. He had my father’s eyes.

            “I’m sorry I took that.”

            I looked up and saw James eye level with me in bed. He looked exhausted from crying. I reached up and brushed his hair back. “It’s okay,” I assured him. “Where’d you find it?”

            “The bottom of your closet. It was in a shoebox.” He admitted and rubbed his heavy eyes. “I just…I wanted to see what he looked like. But I don’t know which picture is him.”

            I looked down at the album and swallowed. I held open the page for him. “That’s him,” I said quietly. “His name is Nicholas.”

            James looked at the picture. “I don’t look like him.”

            “No, you look the most like grandpa.”

            “Are you glad that I don’t look like him?”

            I touched his cheek and set the album aside. “I’m glad that you are here and you’re mine.” I murmured. “I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to be my son.”

            He closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry I got mad.”

            “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

            “Sebastian makes you happy so…” He shrugged slightly, moving his Avenger bedspread.

            “If you’re uncomfortable with anything, you let me know, okay? You are my main priority and you _always_ come first.”

            He opened his eyes and nodded. “Okay. But he does make you happy. Every time you see him you’re happier.”

            “He does make me happy.” I wasn’t going to lie to my son. “But you make me the happiest in life. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you every morning, eating your Cinnamon Toast Crunch and reading comics.”

            A small smile formed on his face.

            “And even though you’re a stinky boy.” I leaped up to tickle him. “Who has smelly feet and burps at the table. I still love you.”

            He laughed and squirmed away from me. “Stop!”

            I smiled and kissed his forehead. “Please never forget that you come first.”

            “I won’t.” He smiled warmly. “But Sebastian makes you happy.” He said again. “And that makes me happy. Plus he’s really cool.”

            I touched his cheek. “Thank you.”

            “And my feet don’t smell.”

            “Your mother begs to differ.”


	5. Chapter 5

            James was in a noticeably better mood after our talk. He said he wanted to apologize to Sebastian and asked if we could go visit him again. So I invited Sebastian over so he’d be around when James got back from a friend’s house.

            It was strange having Sebastian in my house. But he made for a polite houseguest. He sat at the kitchen table as I made us both coffees.

            “Here you go.” I set the cup down in front of him.

            “Thank you.” He smiled.

            “Can I get you anything else?” I asked and went back into the kitchen.

            “I’m fine. I just want to spend time with you.”

            I smiled to myself and walked back to the breakfast nook. I sat down across from him and he gave me a smile.

            “I’m glad things worked out.” He said. “I was worried I’d overstepped my boundaries. I never meant anything by…”

            “It’s okay,” I assured him and rested a hand on his. “James and I talked and he was just upset about his father. I guess it’s my fault for not telling him more about him. I just wanted to protect him. Nicholas was never…” I paused when I heard my phone ring. “Sorry, that might be about James.”

            “Of course.” Sebastian nodded. “I don’t mind at all.”

            I stood up and went to answer the call. “Hello?”

            “Hey, long time, no hear.”

            The voice sounded vaguely familiar but I wasn’t thinking too much about it. “Sorry, who is this?”

            “Oh, ouch. You don’t even have the decency to save my number, Gabs?”

            Only one person ever called me that in my life. My blood ran cold and the room began to spin. “No…no, don’t you dare.” I stammered. “You cannot put any blame on me.”

            Nicholas just laughed. “Relax, sweetheart. I’m just giving you a courtesy call. My lawyer helped me file some paperwork regarding you and I wanted to let you know before you got it in the mail.”

            Anger hit me like a train at full force. “No, you son of a bitch. Don’t you dare!” I shouted. “Not after nine years. You can’t just waltz into his life after nine years. You abandoned me when I was pregnant! You weren’t there for the birth; you’ve never laid your eyes on him! I swear to God if you file for custody I’ll fight you every step of the way!”

            “Gabs, I’m in a good place now, you should be happy for me. I’m getting married this fall, and I’m ready to have him in my life. Don’t make this worse for him.”

            “Oh, that’s the reason?” I laughed sarcastically. “Your fiancee found out that you have a son and she wants to play stepmother? Over my dead body. I don’t care if you’re ready for him in your life. You’re too late. I was ready the second I found out I was pregnant. You were nothing but an immature, childish, stupid…”

            I felt someone take the phone out of my hands. “She’ll call you back.” Sebastian put the phone on the counter.

            “Wh…why did you…” I felt out of control. I wildly grabbed for my phone to redial his number.

            But Sebastian took my wrists in his hands firmly. “You’re not going to make it better by screaming at him. James is going to be home soon. You don’t want him to get scared.” He tried to steady me.

            “He’s going to take him away from me.” I burst into tears and tried to fight his grip.

            “No, he’s not.”

            “He’s going to get him on the weekends and he’s going to fill his head with all this bullshit. He’s going to force him to call that bitch his stepmother.” My knees went weak and I fell to the ground.

            Sebastian quickly tried to break my fall and knelt down in front of me on the kitchen floor. “He’s not going to do anything.” He soothed. “Take a few breaths.” He coached.

            I hyperventilated, so terrified that my son was going to be snatched from me. “He can’t do this. Not after nine years. He can’t…he can’t…it’s been nine years…he’s done nothing for James…he…”

            “Breathe…breathe.” Sebastian coached and took me into his arms. He rubbed my back slowly. “Just slow your breaths down.”

            I couldn’t speak anymore, I could only sob in his arms.

            “I’m going to get you a lawyer, a good one.”

            “I can’t afford a good lawyer.”

            “I didn’t say you had to pay for it. I’ll pay. I’m going to help you through this, Gabrielle, I promise you. I won’t let him do anything.”

            His voice was strong and even in my irrational state; I felt I could trust him. “What do I tell James?” I cried.

            “You don’t have to tell him anything yet. Just wait until we get a lawyer involved and then you can think of a way to tell him. But not today. You need to get your thoughts in order.”

            “What if James wants to see him?”

            “Then…” Sebastian sighed. “You might have to let him. I think he deserves to know his father.”

            I sniffled and used my sleeve to wipe my tears. “I hate him.” I hiccupped. “I hate him so much.”

            “I know…” Sebastian kissed my hair. “Trust me, I do too. But you’re going to need to be strong. I promise I’ll always be there for you if you need some extra strength.”

            I lifted my head and took his face in my hands. I kissed him roughly, just trying to get rid of some of the raw emotions I held.

            Sebastian reciprocated the kiss but reined me back a little, softening my lips. His hands wrapped around mine and loosened my fists. His fingers moved to my cheeks and softly stroked his thumb over my cheekbone, relaxing my muscles. Over a few moments, his calm energy settled me and I pulled away to breathe.

            He pressed his forehead to mine and went back to holding my hands. “I…I don’t want to make things worse.” He whispered.

            “You’re not making things worse. You’re making everything in my life better.” I squeezed his hands. “Please don’t leave.”

            “I won’t leave unless you ask me to.”

            “I love you.” I blurted. I wasn’t sure I meant it. I just needed someone to latch onto in my unstable state.

            Sebastian seemed to realize that.

            “Gabby…”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “Don’t be.” He rested against one of the kitchen counter stools and held me in his arms. “Don’t be sorry.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Slut shaming

            I couldn’t tell James, not yet at least. I continued to get taunting text messages and voicemails from Nick. He was starting to ask about the man who had interrupted the first phone call.

            I didn’t respond to any of his baiting messages. I knew he was trying to rile me up to use against me. I would bite my tongue if it meant keeping James. But I started to look him up again. I went on Facebook and Instagram to see what kind of man he turned out to be. Like I imagined, he was an asshole. Just like he was in college.

            He had some sort of business job where it looked like he did well for himself. After a little detective work, I found his fiancee and figured out she was his assistant. She was much younger than us, probably fresh out of college. She was perky, beautiful, and looked like the girl who probably thought it would be ‘cute’ to have a stepson.

            I didn’t want to hate her. I knew what it was like to be put under Nick’s spell. She was probably just as naïve and innocent as I was when I got pregnant.

           

            I told this all to Sebastian one morning at breakfast. James was at my mom’s because he was sick with a head cold. He wanted to come out with us but I didn’t want him getting Sebastian sick. And I needed someone to talk to about Nick.

            “I mean, it’s not like he was ever nice to me. He was for maybe a few minutes but that was just to get me back to his apartment.” I grimaced. “I spent weeks pining after him and he didn’t even give me a second glance.”

            “You were in class together?” Sebastian asked.

            I nodded. “We were both business majors and I thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever seen. I wanted him to notice me. I was getting a little desperate and when he started talking to me at this one party…” I sighed. “One time and I was already pregnant.”

            “Well, he sounds like a scumbag. I believe people can change but sometimes they don’t.” He was holding my hand over the table.

            “He never wanted to be a father. I remember telling him and the look on his face. It was like some sort of victory for him. I’m sure he told all of his friends that he got me pregnant on the first try. I hated going to that class. Knowing everyone else knew. They all probably thought I was some slut.” The feelings of that time in my life started to creep up on me. Old wounds started to open up again. “They were right.”

            “No,” Sebastian interjected. “Don’t even think that way. We were all stupid when we were that young.”

            I rolled my eyes and desperately wanted to stop crying in front of him. But it felt like he was the only one I could be completely open with and he didn’t judge me. “I was shallow. I didn’t care when he was calling me such disgusting names during it. He was handsome and giving me attention.” I put my head in my hands.

            “Gabrielle.” He reached for my hands so I would look at him. “Listen to me, what happened in the past doesn’t dictate who you are now. You’re a great mother with a stable job, a stable mind, and a stable home. You provide for James and you’ve done it by yourself for years. If that’s not admirable, then I don’t know what is.” He smiled gently and held my gaze.

            I swallowed. “All this time I thought I would be alone because of what happened. I thought no one would ever want to have to deal with James. I didn’t care; I would rather have him and be alone. But I still hoped that one day I’d find a guy as perfect as you are.”

            “I’m not perfect.” He shook his head. “No one is. But I think we all have traits that are compatible with someone else. And I think you’re that someone.” He smiled and kissed my knuckles.

            I smiled and studied his face for a moment. “You look tired,” I noted.

            He nodded and looked a little sheepish. “I was up late last night just reading up on child custody.” He admitted.

            “Sebastian…” I protested. “I told you, you don’t need to get involved in this. It’s my fight. I want to keep you away from my madness as much as I possibly can.

            “Gabrielle, I told you.” He gave me a look. “You don’t need to do this alone. We might be in a relationship but I’m still a friend too.” He reminded me gently.

            I closed my eyes for a moment. “Alright,” I whispered. “But if you want out…”

            “Trust me, I don’t.”

 

            James was still sick and I had him stay home from school come Monday. He only had a few more days left in the year but he was miserable. Sebastian came over with some of his mother’s cooking.

            “You didn’t have to do all this, and neither did your mother,” I said as I greeted him at the door.

            “Nonsense. If I know one thing, it’s that my mom’s cooking can cure any cold.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

            “Oh…I wouldn’t.” I stepped back. “I think I might have caught what James did. I don’t want to get you sick.”

            “Pft, I have a great immune system. One kiss isn’t going to get me.” He grinned and I let him kiss me anyways.

            “She wants to meet you.” Sebastian set the bowl of soup down.

            “Your mom?”

            “Mhm. James too. I was showing her pictures of him with the shield. She thinks he’s adorable. And she’s always wanted, grandchildren.”

            I laughed and shook my head. “I’m sure she wants grandchildren from the beginning, not already heading into their teens.”

            “Nah, she’s desperate. She always lectures me about settling down. I’m sure she’ll take whatever she can get at this point.” He chuckled.

            I set up a little tray of soup and crackers for James. “I’m going to bring this to him. You can just put the leftovers in the fridge. I’ll make sure to give your mom’s dishware back.” I said and headed upstairs. I gently knocked on the door. “James, baby, Sebastian brought soup for you.”

            I heard him coughing and walked in. I sighed and set the tray down on his nightstand. “My poor baby.” I cooed and reached to check his forehead.

            He grimaced and sniffled. “Sebastian made me soup?”

            “His mom did.” I propped up his pillows for him so he could sit up. “Here, let it cool a little first.” I reached down to pick up his little pile of tissues and cough drop wrappers. “Do you need anything else? Are you drinking enough?”

            “I’m fine, mom.” He assured me. “I’m just tired.”

            “Well, eat what you can and get some more rest. I’ll come to check on you a little later. Want Sebastian to come to say hi?”

            “Maybe later.” He nodded.

            “Alright, I love you.” I checked his forehead again and left before he complained about me being overbearing.

            As I walked to the stairs, I heard Sebastian call up for me. Confused, I walked down and found him standing by the door.

            My jaw tightened when I saw Nick standing in front of my door. Sebastian looked just as upset. “You leave,” I demanded.

            “Gabs…”

            “Don’t call me that. Get out of this building right now before I call the police.” I stormed up to the door but kept my voice low. I didn’t want James hearing anything.

            “I didn’t know you owned the apartment building.”

            “You have the nerve to come to my home uninvited when my son…”

            “Our son.”

            “…when _my_ son is sick?”

            “You weren’t answering my calls, sweetheart.” He gave me a fake smile.

            “Don’t call her that,” Sebastian spoke in a harsh voice.

            Nick turned his attention to him. “So you’re the guy from the phone call. Well, it’s good to know you have men come over when James is home.”

            “Oh, did you finally learn his name? Did you have to ask around?” I spat. “I’ll tell you one time, you’ll get custody of him when hell freezes over. I carried him for nine months, I gave birth to him with no one by my side, I graduated college with him, and I raised him on my own his entire life. You’re nothing to him and you’re nothing to me. Who I have in my house is my business.”

            I hated the simpering looks he gave me. “I knew you’d be like this. You haven’t changed at all have you, Gabs? You’re still chasing after men. You’ll always be the same slut you were in college.”

            Nick barely had time to finish his sentence. Sebastian threw the door wide open and went to grab him.

            “Hey! Hey!” I pushed him back. “Stop, you’re not getting in trouble over him.”

            Nick took a few steps back. I didn’t blame him. Sebastian stood a few inches taller than him and was all muscle for filming. “Oh, are you her guard dog? She’s not going to keep you around. I won’t take it back, she’s a whore and she always has been.” He kept talking even though he looked a little intimidated by Sebastian.

            I stood in between Sebastian and the door. He wasn’t fighting against me; I knew he would win that battle. I knew he would never hurt me either though. “You’re lucky. You’re nothing but a deadbeat punk.”

            “Don’t get too comfortable, buddy, she’ll drop you. She doesn’t care about you, just like she doesn’t care about James. And I'll be damned if you're around my son.”

            I did everything in my power not to kick his ass right then in there. Or worse, let Sebastian kick his ass. But I knew he was trying to get a rise out of us. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “Just ignore him.” I urged Sebastian.

            “You don’t know anything about her or James. Where have you been his whole life? I’ve been in his life longer than you have!” Sebastian snarled.

            “Oh so now you’re playing dad?” Nick looked amused. “See how she’s screwing him up? She’ll let men in his life to make him confused.”

            “At least he acts like a decent father who cares about him. What are you?” I snapped. “You’ve done nothing for him!”

            “Keep it up, Gabs, and you’ll see what happens,” Nick replied in his usual aloof manner. “I don’t care who your boyfriend is. You’re nothing. You’re a shit mother who sleeps around. I’m going to get custody of him. You’ll never see him again.”

            “I swear to God, if you come around here again…” Sebastian grit his teeth.

            “Fuck off.” I told Nick and slammed the door in his face, locking it tightly. I balled up my hands and felt like punching something.

            Sebastian looked worse than me. He started to pace angrily until he realized James was standing on the bottom step.

            A blanket was wrapped around him and he looked close to tears. “Mom…” He said shakily.

            “Baby…” I panicked. Had he heard everything?

            “Mom, I don’t want to go with him.” He started to cry.

            “Sh…sh…” I knelt in front of him and scooped him up in my arms. “That’s not going to happen. You’re going to stay with me, okay? I promise.”

            James sobbed against my shoulder as I held him tightly. In the corner, I could hear Sebastian making a phone call.

            “Hey man, do you think you could help me get in touch with the legal team at the studio? I need help finding a lawyer.”


	7. Chapter 7

            After sending James to school for his last day of the year, I went to my office. Too overwhelmed to work, I went into the break room and made myself a coffee. I stirred in the sugar for a good few minutes. I stopped when I realized I was staring off into space. My head was too full of worries to even address one of them individually.

            I slowly walked back to my desk and found my phone was ringing. I answered it with my usual greeting.

            “Hello Miss Wilson, this is Heather from Memorial Elementary we just wanted to confirm that your son is still sick?”

            I recognized the voice of the receptionist at James’ school. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “No, he should be in school, I dropped him off this morning.”

            “Oh…” I heard her typing away at her computer. “According to our attendance, he’s not in class.”

            “What?” I nearly shot up out of my chair. My mind went to the worst possible scenarios. He was kidnapped. He was hurt. He was dead. Nick took him.

            “Let me double check with his teachers. I’ll get in touch with our school officer too.”

            “Oh, my God…” I put a hand over my mouth and quickly fumbled for my cell phone. I dialed Sebastian’s number as I waited.

            “Hey, how are you doing today?”

            “James isn’t at school. I don’t know where he went. I don’t know if someone took him.” I was hysterical.

            “They don’t know where he is?” He voice went straight to panic too. “Where could he have gone?”

            “I don’t know!” I tried to think of a game plan. “Al-alright, can you go check my apartment to see if he’s there? I’m going to call my parents and head to the school. If you think of anywhere else he might be, please call me.” I begged.

            “Yeah, of course. Keep me updated.”

           

            I was in full tears when I got to the school. The receptionist tried to assure me that there were officers looking for him but I couldn’t even think of the positives. My phone rang again and I jumped to answer it.

            “I found him, he’s safe.”

            Sebastian’s voice was like the heaven’s opening up. I almost fell to my knees in relief. “Oh, my…thank God.” I sighed in relief. “Where is he?”

 

            I arrived at Central Park where Sebastian and I took James to play football. James was sitting on a bench with Sebastian kneeling in front of him. They were talking and James was wiping his eyes. I rushed over to them.

            “James Wilson, what in the world got into you?” I hugged him close. “How could you just leave school like that? You could’ve been kidnapped or hurt!”

            “I don’t want him finding me.” He cried in a shaky voice.

            “Who?”

            James looked up at me with wide eyes.

            I felt my chest tighten as I realized what he meant. “Sweetheart…” I wiped his tears away from his cheeks with my thumb. “Nothing is going to happen. The school wouldn’t let you go with him without my approval.”

            James hiccupped and clung to me tightly. “I’m sorry, mom.”

            “It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re okay,” I whispered and rubbed his back. “Sh, let’s just get you home.”

           

            James closed himself up in his room and stopped talking to me. I tried comforting him but he wouldn’t listen. He was terrified that Nick was going to take him away from me.

            I walked down from his room and sat down on the bottom step. I put my head in my hands and rubbed my eyes.

            Sebastian walked over and sat down next to me. “It’s going to be okay, Gabrielle.” He said softly.

            “No, it’s not.” I cried quietly. “It’s never going to be okay. I thought he would just stay away. I never thought he would do something like this. I should’ve realized he would try to ruin my life more.”

            “Look, he won’t win anything in court. He’s not on the birth certificate so he has no rights.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

            “He always wins,” I muttered. “Everything he does…he always wins.”

            “Well, he’s not going to win this time. I’m getting you the best lawyer I can find and we’re fighting this.”  

            I lifted my head to look at him. He smiled and rubbed my shoulder. “If I get my mom to watch James tonight, can we go out?” I asked.

            “Yeah…if you think that’s okay.” He nodded.

            “Well, James won’t even talk to me. Maybe he’ll talk to her.” I stood up and went to clean up the kitchen a little.

            “Alright.” He stood up too. “What do you want to do? We could go out to eat or we could see a movie. Did you want to try that new sushi place?”

            “I want to go drink and then go back to your place and have sex,” I said bluntly, looking him in the eyes.

            Sebastian looked a little taken aback. We hadn’t done anything more than kiss since we reconnected on the subway. There were a few times we got close to taking it further again but something always stopped it.

            Now that I was frustrated and upset, all I wanted to do was drink something strong and see those abs again.

            “Uh…okay.”

 

            After my mom showed up to watch James, and after she fussed over how handsome and polite Sebastian was, we went to the nearest club. We didn’t drink as much as we did the night we met, but there were a few shots involved. We danced and eventually, I dragged him off the dance floor and to the closest cab.

 

            The next morning, Sebastian woke up before me. He was gently pushing a piece of hair away from my eyes when I started to stir.

            “This is what I wanted to see that morning.” He whispered softly and kissed my forehead. “But you ran off.”

            I smiled and opened my eyes. “I had to leave you wanting more,” I replied.

            “Well, you did a good job of that.” He drew me back into his arms. For once in my life, I didn’t feel self-conscious about being naked in front of another person. My entire life I’d been uncomfortable with another man seeing me so exposed. It didn’t matter if I was infatuated with them.

            But Sebastian was different. He was different in every single way. The way he kissed me, the way he touched me, the beautiful names he called me, or the way he held me.

            “Princess.”

            “Beautiful.”

            “Love.”

            “Baby.”

            “Gorgeous.”

            And other words I didn’t understand in his native tongue. All of them slipped out of his mouth like a prayer. Words were cheap but the way he looked at me when he said those names. I knew he meant every single bit of it. I’d never had a man look at me the way he did. I made me weak at the thought.

            So I didn’t mind when he held me close and I was still naked from the night before. I was at ease because I trusted him. And it didn’t matter that I had my old scar from my c-section or that I didn’t have a perfect body. I mattered to him and he mattered to me.

            His eyes studied my face as he held me close. “You know I could get used to this.”

            “Me in your bed?”

            “Mhm, it’s nice. You’re like, the perfect size, the perfect warmth, the perfect everything. I think you should become a permanent resident.”

            “In your bed?” I giggled.

            “No, here.” He smiled sheepishly. “You and James. I have the extra bedroom; he can decorate it how he wants. I’ll see if I can get some cool Marvel props to put in there. His school isn’t too far either…”

            My smile fell. It all sounded perfect. “Seb…I can’t.” I looked down at his shoulder. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to raise him in a complete family. For years I thought it would be fine, just him and me, but of course, I always wanted him to have a father. But this stuff with Nicholas, it’s just not the right timing. I need to make sure James is in the right spot so moving just isn’t an option.” I swallowed.

            He nodded. “Right, I mean, it’s too soon. I want him to be comfortable with me and with the custody case…” He cleared his throat.

            I drew away from his arms and got up. I scooped up his shirt and slid it on as I walked into the bathroom.

            He followed me and stood behind me as I looked in the mirror. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even suggested it. I guess I just felt jealous that scumbag even has a slim chance of getting James. He’s such a great kid and he deserves so much. And you…” He wrapped an arm around my waist and met my gaze in the mirror. “You deserve the world, Gabby. I’m not the perfect guy but if I could give you both something…anything…it would make me happier.”

            I turned around in his arms. “There will be a day when we can all live together. I want to be happy with you, Sebastian. I want to be happy with you all the time. But right now,” I sighed and touched his chest. “What if every other week I spend the night here?”

            He smiled slightly and nodded. “Okay, it’s a start.” He touched his forehead to mine. “Is it too early to tell you I love you?”

            “No, because I love you too.”


	8. Chapter 8

           “Why are we going to the park?” James asked as we crossed the road.

            “Sebastian has a surprise for you,” I told him vaguely. I knew what it was solely because Sebastian made sure it was okay.

            “Alright…” James looked suspicious but follow me as we walked to our usual spot.

            “Hey, bud.” Sebastian smiled when he saw us walked over. I grinned when I saw he had something tucked in his arms.

            “Mom said you had a surprise,” James said with a measure of anticipation. 

            “Yep, this is yours now.” Sebastian knelt down and held out a nine-week-old labradoodle puppy.

            James’ eyes widened and he looked at me. “Really?”

            I smiled and nodded. I knew he’d always wanted a dog but I didn’t feel like I had the time or money to care for one. Now that James was older I knew he would help take care of it. “He’s yours.”

            Sebastian placed the puppy in his arms. “You get to name him and everything.” He said.

            “Whoa…” He held the squirmy puppy and laughed when it licked him. “Uh…I want to name him…Captain!”

            Sebastian smiled warmly. “You sure?”

            “Yeah.” James sat down and put the puppy in his lap. “Thanks, mom.”

            “Don’t thank me, it was Sebastian’s idea.”

            “Thanks, Sebastian.”

            “No problem, kiddo.” He helped James put the little harness on Captain so James could run around with him. The puppy nipped at his heels, yipping excitedly.

            “I guess they’re a perfect match already,” Sebastian said and sat down next to me on the grass.

            “I guess so.” I leaned into him. “Thank you, you’ve made him so happy.”

            “He deserves it.” Sebastian wrapped an arm around me and kissed my temple. “You both deserve it.”

 

            After putting James to bed, with Captain curled up by his feet, I walked into the living room.

            Sebastian was flipping through channels to find a movie to watch. I grabbed a blanket and curled up next to him, wrapping us both up.

            “Are they both asleep?” He asked.

            “I think they wore each other out. Captain was snoring, it was adorable.”

            Sebastian chuckled. “I can’t wait to tell Chris about what he named him. He’s going to be thrilled. I’m sure Anthony will be a little disappointed but maybe the next dog we get can be a Falcon.”

            “How many dogs are you planning on getting?”

            “Oh, however many it takes to fill up the house.” He said with a straight face.

            “Alright, then we’re moving into your place. More space, more dogs. And I have someone else to help me take care of them.” I said.

            He chuckled. “Sounds good to me. It’ll get you to move in faster.” He teased but he hadn’t been pressuring me. He was doing his best to help with the custody battle and didn’t want to add to my worries.

            “Hm…” I watched as he flipped through the channels. “Wait!” I grabbed the remote to stop him. “Is that you?” I watched as indeed, my boyfriend was on the TV.

            He winced in embarrassment. “Oh…yeah. _I, Tonya._ ”

            “Oh, I didn’t see that.” I felt a little bad that I hadn’t really seen many of his movies. But to be fair, I didn’t watch a lot of movies. I hadn’t remembered the last time I’d been to the theaters unless it was to bring James to the Marvel movies. And even then I didn’t really pay much attention. My attention span was too short.

            “You haven’t seen a lot of movies, huh?” Sebastian chuckled.

            “Well…I like Star Wars. Or, I liked the original ones at least. I haven’t seen the new ones…” I admitted. “I uh…I liked Jurassic Park. But again, haven’t seen the new ones. I feel like they’re just rebooting everything. It’s hard to keep up and I still just like the originals.”

            He laughed. “You’re adorable, d’you know that? You’re my age but you’re already such a mom.”

            “Hey!” I protested. “I may be a mom but I’m cool,” I said stubbornly. “I’ll have you know, I mastered the fidget spinner.”

            “Such a mom.” He grinned and kissed my cheek.

            “Mhm…” I watched the TV for a bit. “So, you had a mustache like that, huh?”

            “Don’t even mention it.”

            “No, it’s…nice. I mean, it’s not my first pick for you but…I mean you’re attractive no matter what you do.”

            “I dyed my hair blond last year.”

            “What?” I gasped. “Oh my God, let me see,” I begged.

            “No, no, no.” He shook his head. “Just be lucky that you got me post-mustache and post-blond.”

            “Hmpf, you’re no fun. I showed you my tattoo.”

            “Yeah, because we had sex, it’s sort of hard to hide it like that.” He pointed out cheekily.

            “What I mean, is I showed you my embarrassing body thing.”

            “I did it for movie roles, they weren’t a conscious decision.”

            “Who said I wasn’t drunk when I got my tattoo? Because I was.” I shrugged. “I don’t think you would’ve liked me when I was a teenager. I was pretty wild. It was almost like I knew I was going to have James early so I got out all of my partying before then.” I mused.

            “Well, that makes sense but I think we would’ve gotten along just fine.”

            “The theater kid and the party girl.” I smiled and rested my cheek on his shoulder. “Maybe it’s good that we met up later in life.”

            “Maybe.”

            I watched the movie a little more and actually gasped when I saw Sebastian fighting Margot Robbie on screen. “Oh, my God…”

            “Yeah, it was kind of an intense story.” He admitted.

            “Jesus Christ…” It was like watching a completely different person than the man who was holding me close.

            “Want me to change it?” He reached for the remote.

            “No it’s fine, I just didn’t know you were such a…I mean I knew you were a good actor but this is like…scary good.”

            “So…”

            “I mean I know you would never act like that but you’re pretty convincing,” I said unable to look away from the screen.

            “Well, thank you.”

            “It would be really fun to roleplay with you in the bedroom.” I decided.

            “Uh…you want to roleplay Tonya Harding's life?”

            “What? God no.” I shook my head and laughed. “No, no, no, something fun. I dunno…like…what do people usually do?”

            He chuckled and shrugged. “Nurse?”

            “Eh, boring.”

            “Teacher?”

            “No, because I actually have to go to parent-teacher conferences.”

            “Boss and secretary?”

            I gasped. “Yes! I could be the hotshot CEO and you’re my sexy assistant who wears tight shirts.”

            Sebastian burst out laughing. “Alright, fine, but only because you suggested it.”

            I giggled and nibbled his earlobe playfully. “I’m just kidding. I want you to be the boss. You can be all dressed up in one of those nice suits…I’ll wear a short skirt…”

            Sebastian groaned. “Alright, our next weekend together.” He jumped at the chance. “Or we could go away. Go to Long Island or somewhere quieter.”

            I smiled and smoothed his hair back. “Easy, tiger. Our next weekend together isn’t for another two weeks.”

            He sighed. “I can wait.” He decided.

            “The suspense will kill me, but I can wait too.” I cuddled close to him. “I love you.”

            “I love you more.”

            “Oh, please…” I rolled my eyes and tilted my chin up to kiss him deeply.


	9. Chapter 9

            My worst nightmare was losing James and having Sebastian caught up in the custody battle. In my eyes, they were both innocent and deserved to be protected from Nick’s warpath. But I couldn’t keep them locked up in my apartment. I was so worried that I forgot about protecting myself.

            After going to hearings, I was worn out. I was tired of listening to Nick’s arrogant tone as he called me a bad mother. He brought up Sebastian many times but there wasn’t much else he could cite as evidence of terrible parenting. Of course, I had plenty of evidence of him being a deadbeat. But I still had to go through the legal motions.

            I had to keep James’s mind off of the troubles. I didn’t talk about the case in front of him and tried to plan fun summer things. Luckily, his friend invited him on a family camping trip so he could escape the city and I could be at ease knowing he wouldn’t worry.

 

            I could also spend some alone time with Sebastian, which was long overdue. I just wanted to leave my problems at his door.

            I knocked daintily and straightened my skirt. I felt a little unstable on my heels. I usually opted out of wearing heels at work; I also wouldn’t wear the short, tight skirt in the office either. But I was glad that I hoarded old clothes or I wouldn’t have anything to wear on my date with Sebastian.

            He opened the door wearing a three-piece suit that I assumed he wore to red carpet events. He smirked. “Miss Wilson, I’m glad you got my message. Come in.”

            “Thank you, Mr. Stan.” I felt butterflies in my stomach as I walked in. “Are you sure it’s appropriate for me to come to your place?” I asked innocently.

            “Well, I need you to help me with a special assignment.” Sebastian cleared his throat and slipped the suit coat off his shoulders.

            “Me?” I leaned against the kitchen counter. “But I’m just your secretary, sir.”

            “You’re the only woman for the job, Miss Wilson.” He walked over to me with lust in his eyes.

            I felt the air completely taken out of my lungs. “What is it?”

            “I uh…” He touched my arm making a shiver go up my spine. I wasn’t sure what it was about that moment. He’d touched me before but this situation was making me feel electrified.

            I let out a small giggle of excitement. “Yes?” I tilted my head to the side.

            His tongue swiped over his bottom lip. “You’ve been driving me crazy, walking around the office in your heels.” He leaned in closer.

            “Well, I dress up just for you.” I bit my lip and touched his chest. “I like the suits you wear.” I purred.

            He tilted my chin up with a finger and drew me just a centimeter away from his lips. “Bedroom.” He murmured.

            “Yes, sir.”

 

            I giggled as we cuddled up in bed together. “That was really fun. I didn’t think it would be that fun. I actually thought I’d be bad at it.”

            “You were amazing.” Sebastian smiled and drew the sheets around us. He kissed my forehead. “You could be an actress.”

            I tangled my legs with his and combed my fingers through his hair. “I like leaving the acting to you.”

            He smiled and looked into my eyes. “So, uh…I’m starting to film a project in a few weeks. I’m going to have to be away for a little bit.”

            I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. But I knew one day his career would separate us even if it was only for a short amount of time. I was a little selfish but I liked having him nearby. “Okay.” I nodded and grazed my fingers down his temple and cheeks.

            “About a month. Then I’ll have to do some more in another location. I’m not sure how long.” He admitted.

            “That’s okay,” I said but my voice sounded insincere.

            “I don’t want to leave you in the middle of all of this.” He whispered guiltily.

            “It’s fine, Sebastian, please don’t feel bad for doing your job. We’ll be able to FaceTime and talk on the phone.”

            “I could come to visit on the weekends.” He nodded.

            “We can be apart for a while, I feel confident that we’ll be okay.” I smiled weakly. “But I’ll miss you.”

            “I’ll miss you too.” He kissed both of my cheeks, my nose, and then my forehead again. “But I want to stay updated on the case. You shouldn’t be going about this alone. I told you I’d help you from beginning to end and I will.”

            I realized something that made my blood run cold. “What if he shows up at my door again?” I whispered. It was something I’d been scared of but I was comforted knowing Sebastian was just a phone call away. Knowing he would be further away made my whole body tense up.

            “The judge told him to stay away. But if he does, you call the police and then me.” He said firmly.

            “I’m so nervous about all of this,” I admitted. I didn’t want to make it harder for him to leave but I didn’t want to hold my emotions in either. Especially since I was trying to keep a happy façade so James wouldn’t catch onto my fear.

            “Why don’t you stay at my place while I’m away?” Sebastian offered. “He doesn’t know where I live and James doesn’t have to go to school so you don’t need to worry about that. You can make sure my little houseplant doesn’t die.”

            I smiled. “I don’t know…are you sure?”

            “Yeah, of course. We can get James set up in the guest room. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m being pushy about you moving in…”

            “No, I understand. You’re trying to help me feel safe.” I touched his cheek. “My big, strong, handsome, boyfriend.” I murmured.

            “You mean your CEO?” He smirked and ran his hands down my side.

            “My CEO? I think I’m the CEO now, I’ve got you wrapped around my finger.” I teased. “This secretary is going to climb the corporate ladder.”

            He laughed and held me closer. “God, I love you.”

 

 

            It had only been a week. I knew I shouldn’t have relied so much on Sebastian but it was hard not to. Other than my mom, he was the one person I went to about my troubles and feelings. He was so open and caring that I felt safe telling him. I didn’t think that was a bad thing until he was miles away.

            The last thing I wanted to do was burden him while he was filming. He needed to focus and my small problems wouldn’t help. He cared too much sometimes.

            So, when we talked over the phone, I tried to keep the conversation light.

 

            I was glad James had helped me figure out FaceTime. Sebastian was right, I was such a mom.

            “Hey, gorgeous.” He smiled warmly when he saw me.

            “Hey, handsome,” I replied. “Hold on, I want to make sure you’re in a good spot.” I set my phone up on the coffee table and sat on the floor. Captain sprinted across the room to be in my lap.

            “Hi, handsome!” Sebastian cooed.

            “He keeps growing, I’m going to have to get another collar for him already.” I sighed and held the puppy up so Sebastian could see him. “He misses you.” I pouted.

            “I miss him too. Probably the most.” He teased.

            I rolled my eyes and let Captain curl up on my lap. I ran my fingers through his soft, curly hair. “So, I’ve been watching some of your movies in my free time,” I told him.

            “Oh yeah?” He looked a little sheepish. “Which ones?”

            “Well…I caught up on the Marvel movies with James. Then I ventured over to the Bronze…”          

            “Oh no…”

            I giggled. “Oh yes. When were you going to incorporate your gymnastic moves into our sex life?” I batted my eyelashes.

            “Do you want me to pull every muscle in my body?”

            “Alright, alright fine.” I ceded. “Oh, before I forget, I had someone asking about our relationship.”

            He furrowed his eyebrows. “In person?”

            “No, they messaged me on my Instagram. Which is weird because only my friends and family follow me.” I shrugged. “Is it your agent or whatever?”

            He shook his head. “It’s probably tabloids. Just ignore it.” He didn’t talk about his public life that much. He told me he wanted to keep me away from it, James too.

            “Can I ask you a question and I don’t want you to get offended.”

            “Yeah of course.”

            I winced slightly and busied myself with petting Captain. “Are you…embarrassed to be seen with me?”

            He looked alarmed. “What?”

            “If you are, it’s okay. I just…wanted to know I guess.” I shrugged and looked down.

            “Gabrielle, every woman in Hollywood would be jealous of how beautiful you are. There is nothing I’d want more than to have you on my arm at every event.” He said firmly. “But you’re going through a lot right now. And I don’t want you or James subjected to the media or all the fans. You deserve a quiet life, let me handle the craziness.” He smiled. “But know that I’m not embarrassed to be with you at all. In fact, some of my coworkers complain about how much I talk about you.”

            I blushed and glanced back up at the screen. “Mean it?”

            “I would never lie to you.” He promised sincerely.

            “I know you wouldn’t.” I murmured. “I trust you more than anything.”


	10. Chapter 10

            “James, make sure you’ve got a tight hold on his leash,” I called after my son as he ran ahead with Captain. I made sure to keep an eye on them as they ran around the grass of the park.

            “It’s so hot.” Sebastian groaned. “I’m going to melt.”

            “At least you tan properly, I know I’m going to just burn in his sun.” I sighed and took his hand.

            “Tragic story.” He smirked slightly and lifted my hand to kiss my knuckles. “You’ll still look beautiful.”

            “Even if I’m sweating like a pig?”

            “Yes, and do pigs actually sweat?” He glanced over at me with his adorably confused face.

            “I’m not sure…are we the only animal that sweats?”

            “Well dogs pant so does that count?” Sebastian pulled out his phone. “I’m going to look it up.”

            “Good because it’s imperative that we learn.” I giggled. “James used to ask me all sorts of questions when he was little. Why do bats sleep upside down? How hot is the sun? Why can’t we walk on our hands? Some of it was silly but most of it I realized I hadn’t even thought of it. Maybe kids are smarter than we are.”

            “Maybe. Because pigs don’t really sweat.” He told me.

            “Good to know.” We smiled at each other. “We’re goofy.”

            “I’m not goofy, I’m a serious actor.” He tried to keep his serious face.

            “Mhm, says the man who was dancing and singing in the kitchen this morning as he made me tea.”

            “Hey, that’s classified and it was Beyoncé.”

            I laughed and saw James running back towards us. “Those people are taking pictures of you guys.” He said with a measure of confusion in his voice.

            “Who?” Sebastian instantly tensed up. He looked over to where James had been with Captain.

            James looked over his shoulder and pointed to a few people. One had a professional camera; the others just had their cellphones held up.

            “Let’s just go the other way.” My stomach turned. I had never been put under the scrutinizing microscope of the public eye. I didn’t care if people saw me outside, but with Sebastian, it was something different. I was afraid people would talk and it would reflect negatively on his career.

            “Hey, guys don’t take pictures of them, please, thanks.” He called out tersely.

            The photographers seemed to lower their cameras but we couldn’t be sure. I grabbed James and turned him away from their view.

            “Here, I’ll carry Captain for now.” I scooped up the puppy. “We’re going to go this way.”

            Sebastian wrapped an arm around me and steered us away. He grumbled a few inaudible things under his breath.

            “Sebastian! Can we get your autograph?”

            I jolted at the sudden cry for his attention. I tightened my hand on James’s shoulder and locked him to my side.

            Sebastian cleared his throat and addressed the fans. “Yeah, sure. Just don’t take pictures of him.” He said firmly and signed the teenager’s notebook. He agreed to a selfie but he didn’t look immensely thrilled. Something in his eyes said he wanted to get us away from the attention.

            I didn’t know what to say or even do. I just kept James by me and made sure he was shielded from any photographing.

            Sebastian wrapped it up with the fans and resumed walking with us. We kept James wedged between us until we were in a quieter part of the park.

            I let James play with Captain for a bit but he needed to be in close range. I didn’t want strangers taking pictures of him or talking to him. I didn’t think I would be so affected by Sebastian’s job. I thought I could be okay with all. But the experience was jarring and very uncomfortable.

            “I’m sorry. I’m going to get in touch with my agent, I’ll do everything I can to tell people to not take pictures of James or you.” He mumbled. “This is my fault I should’ve realized that…”

            “It’s not your fault,” I said quietly and rested my hand over his. “I’m sure you could tell them a million times but you can’t force them to do anything. I’m sure they will try to take pictures of us. I just… don’t want Nick to use this against me.”

            He ran a hand over his face. “Shit, I know.” He groaned. “I’ll fix it. I’ll do anything I can.”

            “Sebs, it’s okay.” I swallowed and tried to regain my composure. I kept my eyes on James and his surroundings. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

            “I know. I’m going to protect you two. I promised I would and that’s not going to change.”

            “I know.” I kissed his cheek. “They can know we’re dating. They can know about James but I need to keep him protected from this. People are crazy.”

            “Yeah, tell me about it.” He sighed and wrapped an arm around me. “I’ll keep you both safe.”

 

            That night, I made dinner and Sebastian stayed late playing board games with us.

            Around ten, I sent James to bed and offered Sebastian to stay the night.

            “That’s okay. I don’t want James to think…”

            “That we’re dating?” I smiled and shook my head. “I think he already knows.”

            “Alright, fair enough. But you know what I mean.” He said as he helped me clean up the living room.

            “It’ll be okay. It’s not like we’re going to have sex. You’ll just be staying the night. I’ll kick you out in the morning.” I stuck out my tongue.

            He chuckled. “Okay, thank you.”

 

            We settled in for the night and everything seemed normal. I curled up in Sebastian’s arms and started to drift off.

            But a loud roll of thunder, and consequently, the sound of footsteps running down the hall interrupted me.

            “Oh…dear.” I sighed knowing what was coming next.

            “Mom!” James hissed and poked his head into the room. He had Captain gathered up in his arms. The poor puppy was shaking.

            “Yes, sweetheart?”

            “It’s thundering…”

            “I can hear that. But do you think you can be brave and stick it out in your room? It’s only noise.”

            “Captain’s afraid too.” James walked over to the bed and let me see the anxious dog.

            “James…” I glanced over at Sebastian who had fallen asleep instantly and didn’t seem disturbed by the noises. “Alright.” I moved over so James could take my spot and I would be closer to Sebastian.

            He plopped Captain onto the bed first and climbed up after him. The puppy clambered over me and went right for Sebastian’s face.

            “Cap, stop,” I whispered and tried to shoo him away. But the puppy was insistent and continued licking and nipping at Sebastian’s ear.

            Eventually, he woke up. “What…oh boy. We have a guest.” He said sleepily.

            “Two guests. It’s thundering.” I explained.

            “Gotcha…well, I’ll take the couch then.” He decided and pushed the covers back.

            “I'm so sorry.”

            “It’s alright.” He smiled and kissed my forehead. “Make sure you protect them from the storm.” He murmured and grabbed a blanket to take to the couch.

            I sighed and smiled slightly as I let James burrow into my arms. Captain placed himself at my feet and I started to doze off, lightly aware of the thunder and lightning. I was a mother first. That would never change.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's getting to be that time of year. The birthday of our favorite man. :D It should be a national holiday.

            I was used to throwing birthday parties for James. He was fairly easy to please; I had a cake made with his favorite Marvel characters, invited his friends from school, let them play video games, have Nerf gun wars in the apartment, eat lots of pizza and sugar, sleepover, and that was that. I usually got him a new superhero figurine that he could add to his collection or a video game and he was grateful.

           

            I explained my clear-cut plan to Sebastian as we went to get coffee before I headed off to work.

            “He’s so spoiled but he always seems so happy and grateful,” Sebastian remarked after he ordered our usual drinks.

            “I don’t know if I would call him spoiled. There’s a lot in life I can’t give him.” I sighed and waited at the end of the counter for our coffees.

            “Don’t discredit yourself, Gabby, you’ve given him a good life.” He said softly. “He’s happy, always fed and with a roof over his head. You take him places, make sure you have enough time with him. And he has a dog.”

            “You gave him the dog.” I reminded him. Sebastian still hadn’t told me how much all of the dog expenses cost. I badgered him to let me repay him but he refused.

            “It was an early birthday gift.”

            “So you’re not getting him anything else are you?” I questioned and gave him a look.

            “Well…no I have to give him something on his birthday.” He grabbed my drink and held it for me as we found a table.

            “Something small.”

            “Physically, no, it’s not small.”

            I groaned. “Sebastian, I told you, you don’t have to spend so much money on us.” I protested.

            “Gabrielle, money isn’t an issue. You two deserve the world and if I can give just a little to you, I will.” He said firmly.

            “Hmpf.”

            “Besides, I want to make sure he has fond memories of his birthdays. That’s so important.”

            “My parents both worked two jobs,” I revealed to him for the first time. “So I had to take care of all the house chores. I remember always getting up on my birthday, doing my usual routine. And then if I were lucky, they’d both have the night shifts off to celebrate with me. If they didn’t then it was just another day. I told myself that if I ever had children I would make sure they got everything they wanted at least for their birthday. But in the long run, I wanted them to have everything they wanted for the rest of their lives. Is that stupid?”

            “Of course not.” Sebastian shook his head. “I feel like we all learn from our parents and change those ways with the kids we have.”

            “Or the kids that your girlfriend has.” I teased.

            He chuckled. “Exactly. And I know it’s been fairly a short time we’ve been together, but I know that I…” He winced. “Please tell me if I’m coming on too strong.”

            “Trust me, I know you won’t be.”

            “I want to end up with you for as long as you’ll have me.” He said gently and made sure to look in my eyes.

            “You do?” We had talked about our futures before but they were usually short term. We talked about the next few months, possibly moving in together, or spending holidays together. But we never had the _forever_ conversation. Although, I felt it easily and I could see myself growing old with him with no problem.

            “Yeah, I don’t want to be with anyone else. I remember seeing you in that bar and thinking about how much I would love to just talk to you. You just seemed to be on the same wavelength and I’ve never found anyone else like that since. And I doubt I ever will.”

            I bit my lip and restrained myself from reaching over, grabbing him by the shirt, and kissing the hell out of him. “Sebs...” I swallowed and felt overwhelmed with emotion.

            “I know it’s sudden and we’ve got so much time to spend together and figure out our paths. But every time I picture something in my future, you’re always there by my side.”

            “I-I feel the same way,” I whispered. “I can’t get you out of my head.”

            He smiled and nodded. “I know how that feels.”

            I blushed and tried to imagine him constantly thinking about me the way I thought about him. “I love you.”

            “I love you too.” He kissed my knuckles. “So I hope now that we move forward, you won’t worry about money.”

            “Maybe.” I gave him a look. “But I’m not promising anything.”

            “You make it up to me by just spending time with me.”

            “So…I’m a prostitute?”

            His cheeks turned red. “What? No, no, no, no, that’s not…”

            “Sugar baby?”

            “No, Gabrielle, you know…”

            “Stripper?”

            He sighed. “Now you’re just teasing me.”

            I giggled and propped my chin on my hand as I looked at him. “You’re cute.”

            “Well, you’re gorgeous.”

            “Mhm…tell me more nice things.” I murmured and leaned over the table to get closer to him.

            “Well, we’re going to live together with like ten dogs, you can come travel with me, I’ll buy you whatever clothes you want, we’ll always have scheduled date nights…”

           

            Things just seemed to get better and better despite the looming anxiety I had.

 

            “What’s that?”

            “Nothing.” I carefully wrapped up the cake container and slid it into the refrigerator.

            “Is it my birthday cake?” James leaned over the kitchen counter.

            “I’m not getting you a birthday cake this year.”

            “You say that every year but you always do.” He pointed out.

            “Well, this year I’m being serious,” I said and started to pull out things for dinner.

            James sat on one of the kitchen stools and looked at me. “What are we going to do for Sebastian’s birthday?” He wondered.

            I looked confused. “Uh…I don’t know. I guess we’ll figure that out when it comes around.” A guilty feeling emerged in my stomach when I realized I didn’t know Sebastian’s birthday. But on the brighter side, I didn’t think I told him mine either.

            “Well, it’s tomorrow.”

            I dropped a plate of chicken. Captain ran over, eager to take the place of my vacuum cleaner.

            “Stop, stop, stop, you’re going to get sick.” I had to pull the puppy away from the floor feast. I cleaned up the mess and looked at James. “His birthday’s not tomorrow, is it?”

            “He told me that it was in August just like mine was. So I looked it up online to see what day it was.” He shrugged.

            I had never googled my boyfriend before. It felt strange knowing a lot of his information was online. I wanted him to tell me things like his hometown, what school he attended, and his fucking birthday.

            Now I just felt stupid. I groaned. “Oh, my God…”

            “You seriously didn’t know?”

            “Don’t rub it in, please. Just…I’ll figure out something to do.”

            “Okay, I can help.” My son offered.

            I sighed and smiled. “I love you,” I said and kissed his forehead. “Let’s try to pull something together.”


	12. Chapter 12

 

            “Gabby?”

            “Yep, come on in!” I called and hurried over to make room in the fridge for both Sebastian’s and James’s cakes. It had been a chaotic few hours but I managed to pull together something for his birthday. It didn’t seem like it was good enough for all the things he’d given me but I tried my best and had to settle.

            Sebastian walked into the kitchen. “What’s going on?” He looked surprised when he saw I was making food. “Did you want me to bring something to eat?” He suddenly looked alarmed that he came empty-handed.

            “Sh, don’t be silly.” I hushed him. “James?” I yelled down the hall.

            “Coming!”

            Sebastian looked suspicious. “Is there something I need to know?”

            “Well, I know there’s something you’re not telling me.” I gave him a look and started to set the table for dinner.

            He seemed to know exactly what I was referring to because he groaned. “James found out didn’t he?”

            “Why didn’t you tell me?” I pouted. “I told you my birthday.”

            “I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. And I didn’t want you to freak out which I’m guessing you did.”

            “Yeah, duh. Mostly because I didn’t find out until last night. I’m not going to just ignore the fact that it’s your birthday. Now go sit, dinner’s ready.”

            He smiled and kissed my cheek before he went to sit down at his regular spot.

            James hurried out with Captain nipping at his heels. He carried an awkwardly wrapped box. I said I would help him with Sebastian’s present but James insisted he wanted to do everything himself. He walked over to the table and shyly put it in front of Sebastian. “Happy birthday.” He smiled.

            “Wow, thanks bud!” Sebastian looked shocked but completely happy. “You didn’t have to do that.”

            James shrugged. “You’ve given me a ton of presents so might as well.”

            He chuckled and tousled his hair. “I can’t wait to open it.”

            “After dinner,” I said and brought out the pizza James and I had made. I kissed Sebastian’s cheek. “Happy birthday.”

 

            After dinner, I grabbed an envelope, which was my present to Sebastian. When I returned to the table, he was opening James’s gift.

            Wrapped inside was a shoebox that had been sitting in the bottom of James’s closet for about a year. Inside that was an array of different things, and James had to explain them all in depth.

            “It’s for when you travel. Those are pictures of mom and I so you always know what we look like. That’s a Bucky figurine that I got two of for my birthday last year. So you can have one and I’ll have the other. That’s one of my favorite comic books so you can read it on the plane ride. If you want, you can swap it out for a new one every time you go. And that’s a list of mom’s favorite songs that I wrote down from her Spotify, they’re fun to listen to in the car even though she sings really loudly. And that’s the card I drew.”

            Sebastian picked up every item, his smile getting bigger and bigger. “This is all fantastic, James, thank you so much.”

            I smiled warmly. “That was very thoughtful, sweetheart.”

            James’s cheeks went red and in a blur, he hugged Sebastian tightly. I could just barely hear the words he whispered to him. “Thank you for being around for us.”

            I swallowed and tried not to cry. But I couldn’t agree more with my son. Sebastian had brought a new light to our lives. It was something I couldn’t repay him for.

            “Alright, my turn.” I handed the envelope over to Sebastian when James let him go.

            He opened the card and read through the lengthy message I had written on the inside and the back. It was a little over the top gushing but I couldn’t help it. It was everything I was feeling. Also tucked inside was the confirmation of a Long Island beach cottage rental. It would be just the two of us as James was going to visit cousins in Pennsylvania with my parents. The booking was very last minute and a little pricey, but I knew it would be worth it once it was just the two of us.

            Sebastian grinned and leaned over to kiss me tenderly. I touched his cheek and sank into the kiss until I heard a gagging noise from James.

            “Blech, you two are gross.” He complained.

            I laughed. “One day you’ll know what it’s like to find someone you love,” I promised and kissed my son’s hair. “Now it’s time for cake,” I said and went to grab it from the fridge.

            As I lit the candles, I heard my phone ring. I glanced over at it on the kitchen counter and my blood ran cold. _Nick._

            No, I was ignoring him. I would deal with him tomorrow. I picked up the cake and went to set it in front of Sebastian.

            “So…they spelled your name wrong and I didn’t realize it until I got home. So I just sort of erased the last part.” I explained as the cake read, ‘Happy Birthday, Sebs.”

            He chuckled. “I love it.”

            “Alright, make a wish,” I said and sat down to take a picture of him.

            He glanced up at me and winked before blowing out the candles.

           


	13. Chapter 13

            I felt like I was reaching my breaking point. I was in and out of court with Nick. All he did was tear me down and try to discredit me as a mother. It was exhausting and was taking a toll on my self-esteem.

            It all came to head when Nick’s fiancée arrived at the last court date. Fortunately, the judge saw my case and didn’t grant him partial custody. I hadn’t seen him lose his cool ever but he looked pretty upset. I was sure he wasn’t used to not getting what he wanted.

 

            I walked out of the courtroom to Sebastian who was waiting patiently. He stood up with concern in his eyes.

            “How’d it go?” He asked.

            “Good, I still have full custody. But I just want to go home, I'm tired.” I whispered and took his hand tightly.

            “Thank God.” He exhaled in relief and kissed my forehead. He kept me close as we walked outside.

            I paused when Nick came out of the building. As he did, a young woman came over to him. I recognized her as the girl I’d stalked on Instagram, his fiancée, Jessie.

            She caught my eye and changed direction, stalking up to me with anger plastered on her face. “Where do you get off keeping a kid from his father?” She demanded.

            “I have no problem with you, just leave me alone,” I muttered and stepped closer to Sebastian. I noticed the large diamond engagement ring on her hand. I remembered the time when I lived in a fantasy world. When I was a stupid teenager who pictured a full life with Nick, engagement ring included. Now I just pitied the poor girl, even though she was trying to get a rise out of me.

            “You do have a problem with me. You’re keeping James away from him and that's wrong.”

            “Don’t say his name.” I snapped. I wanted to take my son's name right out of her vocabulary. She didn't deserve to even speak about him, let alone be in his life. “You stay away from me and you stay away from my child. I won't tell you twice.”

            “We’re going to appeal.” She linked arms with Nick. "We won't stop fighting." 

            “Great, we can waste more time," I replied bluntly. I was already sick of her melodramatic attitude. "For your information, James wants nothing to do with him.”

            “Because you’ve been filling his head with lies,” Nick spoke up. He looked at me with such distaste but I was sure I only mirrored that. Looking at him and hearing his voice made me sick to my stomach.

            “ _Because_ you abandoned him when he was still in the womb,” I replied sharply. “Don’t get it twisted. If he wanted to meet you, I would let him with no problem and I'd be cordial with you. I would do anything as long as it meant making him happy. I might think you're a piece of work but that doesn't matter when it comes to him. As long as it was healthy, I would allow it. But he doesn’t want to see you, in fact, he's terrified that you're going to come and take him away from me.”

            “You’re going to screw that kid up, just wait.”

            “Watch it.” Sebastian snarled. “You don’t know what kind of mother she is, but I know what kind of father you are. If you could even call yourself that.”

            Nick met eyes with Sebastian and seemed to remember how physically intimidating he was. He stayed a distance away from him, not making the mistake of stepping up to him again. “This has nothing to do with you.”

            “That’s where you’re wrong.”

            “I’m done speaking to you,” I replied. “Just so you know,” I turned to Jessie. “He won’t keep you around. Once he gets tired of you, he’ll be gone. He might even leave you when you're pregnant and alone. Be careful.” I tugged on Sebastian’s arm to pull him away.

 

            “God what I would do to get away with kicking his ass,” Sebastian grumbled as he unlocked the car.

            “I’d pay to see that.” I agreed as I got into the passenger side.

            “Want to get some lunch?” He sighed and started to calm down a little the further we got away from them.

            “I’m not that hungry.” Sebastian’s calmness wasn’t doing anything for my nerves. Although I had won my case, my skin was still crawling as I thought about Nick and Jessie. I hated the way he spoke about James. It was as if my son was just an object that he wanted to win. Something else he wanted to take from me. I felt myself getting so worked up that my stomach churned.

            “Can you pull over? I’m going to be sick.”

            “What? Okay, yeah.” Sebastian put his signal on and pulled over to the side of the road.

            I opened the door, got out quickly and started heaving onto the grass on the shoulder.

            Sebastian got out and rushed to my aid. He pulled back my hair and held my hip with his free hand so I stayed upright. “Do you think you have a virus? Or is it just stress?”

            I groaned and felt disgusting. My whole body felt bloated and nauseous. I had no choice but to tell him my guess even though it was long overdue. “I think I’m pregnant.”

            “What?” Sebastian’s voice seemed completely lost.

            I stood up and grabbed a napkin out of my purse to wipe my mouth. “I think I might be pregnant,” I repeated and turned to look at him.

            To say he looked shocked was an understatement. He looked completely frozen in place. “Wh-I-uh-pre-oh-okay.”

            “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner but I was worried what you would say.” I swallowed and felt guilty that I hadn’t made a bigger deal out of it. It was certainly startling to me when I missed my period. But I wanted to wait until my last court date before I officially found out. I didn’t want to send Sebastian into an overload of stress.

            “Don’t apologize…you don’t need to apologize.” At least he was forming full sentences.

            “Is this okay? I know it was out of the blue and I…I know we’re still trying to figure things out.”

            “It’s okay…why wouldn’t it be okay? I just never thought…I didn’t think it would happen.”

            “You didn’t want a family with me?” I felt my chest tighten with fear. Maybe James was enough for him. We hadn’t talked about having children. We were still considering moving into his apartment.

            “No, I didn’t say that. I mean, I’ve thought about it. I just figured it would be a little later on. I guess I was being a little careless.”

            “I was too.” I pushed my hair back. “So what are we going to do now?” I asked.

            “Well, we should make sure you’re pregnant. Uh…then maybe you can move in? I only have an extra bedroom. But maybe we put up a wall in part of the living room and make it into a nursery?”

            I swallowed. “I-I want to be pregnant,” I admitted. “I want to have a baby with you.”

            He smiled slightly. “I had a dream you were pregnant once.” He told me shyly. “And I was so happy. I am so happy. If you’re pregnant, Gabby, then I would be so happy. To have a little son or daughter with you. I mean we’re already sort of a family. I consider James to be like a son so it would just add to our family. I would love it. You just really caught me off guard there, but it’s good…I’m glad.”

            I felt tears in my eyes and touched his cheek. “I love you.”

            “I love you too.” He grinned and leaned in to kiss me.

            “Oh no, you don’t want to kiss me until I brush my teeth,” I warned.

            He laughed. “Right, right, forgot. Let’s get you home.” He kissed my forehead instead.


	14. Chapter 14

            I was pregnant. And it still came as a shock to Sebastian and I. It was nice to think about the possibilities but now those were a reality. And things had to be put in motion.

            Look for a bigger apartment.

            Give landlord my thirty-day notice.

            Shop for baby stuff.

            Tell James about the baby.

           

            I was nervous about the last item on the list. But we couldn’t start on any of the other plans until he knew or he’d get suspicious.

            I couldn’t stall much longer, my pregnancy would only last so long and there was so much to do. So, I sat down with him and Sebastian at his favorite restaurant. We sat outside with Captain sitting underneath the table at James’s feet.

            “So what do you have to tell me?” James asked before we even ordered food.

            “What?”

            “It’s pretty obvious that we went out to dinner because you wanted to tell me something.” He explained bluntly.

            “Well…we do.”

            “I know.”

            “What would you think about moving into an apartment with Sebastian?” I asked gently.

            James nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He smiled. “Can I take my stuff with me?”

            “Of course. And you’ll probably get a bigger room and you can decorate it however you want.” Sebastian promised.

            “Why are we moving?” James wondered but didn’t seem too worried about the concept.

            “Well, we need another room between the three of us because we’re going to have a new addition.”

            “You’re pregnant.”

            Sebastian nearly choked on his drink and I dropped my menu.

            “James Wilson, how in the world…”

            “So you aren’t?”

            “No, I am…I mean…” I cursed under my breath. Sometimes he was too smart for his own good.

            “How did you find out?” Sebastian seemed a bit fascinated on how he was able to come to that conclusion so quickly.

            “Mom was acting super weird. And you guys wanted to tell me something. Either you were getting married or you were having a baby. Mom didn’t have an engagement ring so…” He shrugged. “Plus she just confirmed it for me.”

            “An-and how do you feel about that?” I asked cautiously.

            He shrugged. “I think it would be cool. I kinda wanted to be a big brother.” He admitted shyly.

            “I think you’d be great at the job.” I smiled. “But if you weren’t okay with it, would you tell me?”

            “Yeah probably.” He tilted his head to the side. “But I think it would make you guys happy to have a baby.”

            “It doesn’t mean we love you any less,” I assured him.

            “Duh, I know you love me, mom. You never let me forget it.” He smiled.

            Sebastian and I laughed softly. “Well, we’re glad to hear it, buddy,” Sebastian said softly. “We’ll be a great little family, don’t you think?” He glanced over at me with pure happiness in his eyes.

            “The best.” I agreed.

 

            There was a loud ping waking me up at midnight. I groaned and turned over in bed. Sebastian grumbled and tried to pull me closer in his sleep.

            I artfully reached over to the nightstand without leaving his warm embrace. I grabbed my phone and winced at the brightness that suddenly flooded the room.

            _Isabel: Have you seen this?_

            She was sending me a link. It wasn’t rare. She often sent me links about weird medical news; she was a pediatrician or certain celebrity updates. Sometimes she took pictures of People magazines from her waiting room. I constantly had to remind her that the magazines were months old and Brad and Angelina weren’t together anymore.

            But my friend never texted me past ten unless she was drunk. Her words were coherent so I opened the link to a small celebrity gossip site, one that would report on Meghan Markle standing in line at the bank.

 

            _Sebastian Stan allegedly dating single mother. Reporter tells all about the scandalous relationship._

 

            My blood ran cold. “No, no, no, no.” I started scrolling through the story.

            Sebastian started to stir. “Gabby…”

            “Goddammit, I knew it.” I hissed and sat up quickly.

            “Gabby, whasamatter?”

            “That snake. That sorry excuse for a human. Oh, my God, I knew it.”

            He began to wake up more when he heard the anger in my voice. “What’s going on? Is something wrong?” He rubbed his eyes and propped himself up on his elbow.

            “Ooh, I’m going to make him wish he was never born.” I threw the covers aside and stood up.

            “Gabrielle, tell me what’s wrong!”

            “His fucking fiancee is a reporter. He told her to sell a story about us and she did!” I shook my phone furiously.

            “Nick?”

            “Yes!”

            “Alright, alright, sh…” He tried to coax me back to bed. “James is sleeping.”

            “I’m going to kill him, I swear to God.” I started rummaging through my closet.

            “What does it say, did you read it?”

            I held the screen up to reread the words out loud. “Jessie Bowen, who is engaged to the father of the child, tells about a custody case. And while the mother continues to date Stan, she has banned contact between the child, nine, and his father, Nicholas Walsh. She reveals the mother threatened Walsh and her several times. They plan to appeal the custody case, but one can wonder why the Marvel actor continues to see her.” Angry tears streamed down my cheeks.

            Sebastian was quiet for a second and I could tell he was suppressing an upset reaction. “You and I know that’s not true. They know it’s not true too but they can delude themselves into whatever they want. We just need to ignore them.”

            “So they can spread more lies about me? People I know will find out!” I exclaimed but tried to keep quiet for James’s sake.

            “And you can tell the truth. People know not to trust these sites.” He reminded me and yawned. “I don’t know why they weren’t painting me in a bad light too.” He wondered out loud. “I was the one about to beat him up.”

            “Because they want your fans to turn on me,” I replied sharply. “They want everyone to think I’m a bitch who doesn’t deserve to be in my own son’s life!” I sobbed.

            “Sh, sh, sh.” Sebastian got up and enveloped me in his arms. “It’s okay…we’re going to counteract this. I’ll contact my agent tomorrow and put out the real story.”

            “So we’re going to put ourselves under the microscope even more?”

            “We need to set it straight if it bothers you so much.” He gently ran his fingers through my hair. “But I’ll make sure people know to give you respect and privacy. Anything they have to say they can say to me.”

            “You don’t deserve to go through this. I brought you into this mess, it’s all my fault.”

            “Hey, look at me.” He tilted my chin up. “You’re not fighting this alone. I’ll remind you a million times if I have to but I have your back. When you love someone, you’re there to support them no matter what’s thrown at you. I know the real you, not the person they’re trying to make you out to be. Those lies won’t stand, not while I’m around to defend you.”

            I swallowed. “I hate him…” I whispered. “Why won’t he just leave me alone?”

            “Because he’s bitter. People who aren’t happy need to bring down people who are.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll handle this, I promise. But you need to sleep. All this stress isn’t good for the baby, right?” He rested a hand on my stomach and forced a smile. “Think about the positives. Try not to think about their lies, okay?”

            I nodded slowly and let him lead me back to bed. I curled up with him and tried to block out all the words I had read.

            They weren’t true. They weren’t true. They weren’t true.


	15. Chapter 15

            A lot of my hopes and fears were rooted in finding someone. My mom reminded me that I didn’t need a man to make me happy. And perhaps that was true. But my hope for a strong father figure in James’s life was important. It was a fine line between not wanting to depend on someone else and not wanting to be alone for the rest of my life.

            Now that I had Sebastian I was confident that he was that person. But I supposed there was always a catch to a relationship. In our case, it was Sebastian’s career. Before I had been sure it wouldn’t be a problem. I hadn’t run into any reminders that he was even an actor. But now it seemed everything was escalating faster than I expected. Everywhere I turned I was met with someone about him. The news that Jessie had written was starting to spread and Sebastian’s fans got a hold of the lies. Some were sympathetic while others questioned Sebastian’s involvement with me.

            I had to ignore my phone. I didn’t want to read anything else. Sebastian seemed fed up with it too.

            The anxiety had completely ruined our weekend in Long Island. I couldn’t relax and was so worried that everyone was watching us if we walked down the street. Sebastian was sympathetic and did everything he could to make me feel better but it was hopeless. Being away from James wasn’t helpful either. All Sebastian could do was turn our phones off once I checked in with James. He held me close and kissed the back of my neck and shoulder. 

           

            An interview was scheduled and it was all procedure. Sebastian was beginning his press tour for Infinity War. It was like I was approaching an explosion that I was well aware of. But I couldn’t move, I just needed to wait for it to happen. I was suddenly under the microscope and soon Sebastian would be leaving for the international tour.

            I tried to pretend that I was okay but he could see right through me. So he took it upon himself to try to mend things.

 

            He took me along to the studio, promising me that I wouldn’t have to do or answer anything. He said it was just for emotional support. There was no way I could support him though, I couldn’t even handle my own stress. But I went anyways.

 

            I met a few of Sebastian’s co-stars and I was worried they would judge me. But my worries were silly. They seemed all so sweet.

            “Hey, so Sebastian told me about everything that’s been going on,” Chris said gently. “We all know it’s not true, what they’re saying. We know you’re a good mother.”

            I swallowed my tears. “Thank you, Chris,” I said in a hoarse voice. “I appreciate that.”

 

            I watched as Sebastian was introduced to the interviewer. He sat down with Chris and Anthony. They talked about the movie for a bit and then the woman turned to Sebastian.

            “So there’s been a little news about your new relationship.”

            “Yeah,” Sebastian cleared his throat and ran his hands down the front of his jeans. “I’d actually like to address that if that’s okay. I know it’s not really on topic.”

            “Of course.”

            “Gabrielle is a wonderful mother and I really want to stress that. The things that are being said are complete lies. I know who she is and she’s not the person they’re claiming. The court cases she went through were very tough, but she handled them so well. I just want to make sure my fans know that she’s a good person and I love her very much. This is a hard time for her and she doesn’t need this sort of stress.”

            I put my head in my hands and felt like breaking down.

            “Can we break for a second?” Sebastian asked quietly and I heard footsteps coming over to me. His arms circled me and he kissed my temple. “It’s okay.”

            “It’s not okay. I’m going to ruin everything.”

            “No, that’s not true. You’re making everything better for me.” He brushed my hair back. “This is a bump in the road but you, James, I, and unknown baby, will be totally fine.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize.”

 

            “Dude, did you turn your mic off?”

            Chris, Anthony, Sebastian, and I went out to dinner after the interview was complete.

            “What do you mean?” Sebastian asked.

            His costar showed him his phone. “That reporter just tweeted a part of the interview.” He explained. “She’s saying you revealed Gabby was pregnant.”

            My stomach seized. “What?”

            “No…I…” Sebastian’s eyes scanned the tweet. “Fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck.” He swore under his breath. “God, I need to make a call.” He stood up quickly, kissing my cheek as he left.

            Anthony and Chris glanced at each other. “So…is it true?”

            I ran a hand through my hair and nodded. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “We just found out recently. But I wasn’t on planning on telling anyone yet. We only told James a few weeks ago.”

            “Well, congrats,” Chris said with a slight smile. “We’re just sorry it got out this way.”

            “You two can still be happy about it though, who cares what other people think?” Anthony agreed.

            “I want to be happy but with everything that’s going on…I feel like it’s going to get worse.” I admitted. I felt like I could trust them both.

            “I promise things will look up,” Chris assured me. “Everyone in the movie is behind you and Sebs.”

            “That’s right if anyone wants to harass you two they have to go through the Avengers and etcetera.” Anthony smiled.

            I felt a little bit at ease until I felt my phone starting to vibrate in my purse. There was no telling what it was about but I had a sneaking suspicion it was about the leaked news. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered and got up to find Sebastian.

            He was standing outside, still on the phone. “Yeah…alright, thanks. Talk to you soon.” He turned and saw me.

            “Your agent?”

            “Yeah, don’t worry about it, I’m handling it.” He put his phone in his back pocket and enveloped me in his arms again. “This is my fault.”

            “They were going to find out eventually.” I pointed out.

            “Still.”

            “Sh, don’t stress so much about it.” I hugged him close. Anthony was right, he was completely right. “We need to happy about the baby. Let’s just ignore it.”

            He sighed and nodded. “Okay. But I’m not letting you face the brunt of this when I’m gone on tour.”

            “I’ll be okay.” I closed my eyes. “I wish you didn’t have to leave.”

            “I know, me too.”

            “We’ll be okay though.”

            “I know.”


	16. Chapter 16

            “Sebs? James?” I glanced down the next aisle and frowned when I didn’t see where my boyfriend and son had gone. I pushed the shopping cart along to try to find them in another aisle. I thought I heard them nearby so I kept walking.

            I finally found them in one of the aisles looking through little shirts.

            “Mom look, we found an Avengers shirt!” James exclaimed and held up the tiny shirt.

            I smiled. “Looks good, you can get that if you want,” I said.

            “We also found a nice crib,” Sebastian added. “How’s your list going?” He asked and walked over to me.

            “Good, how’s yours coming along?”

            He held up his list to mine to compare. I laughed softly when I saw Sebastian had seemed to write down every single item he passed in the store. “Sebs, we don’t need all this stuff.”

            “I dunno, it seemed like we might.” He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “I guess you would know better than I do.” He chuckled.

            “I think it’s cute.” I murmured softly and kissed his cheek. “But it’s too much. We can grab some stuff today but I want to make a small registry.”

            “I’m sure our friends are going to want to get stuff though.” He pointed out. “Mackie and Evans are already asking what they can buy. I wasn't too sure what you would want now though.”

            “They don’t have to spoil the baby. Something small would be perfectly fine." 

            “Oh trust me, they won’t take that for an answer.”

            “Okay fine, I’ll let you send them the registry so they know what they can get.” I agreed. "But tell them not to go crazy."

            “Mom, what about these?” James came over with a few toys.

            I smiled. He had been pretty excited for the baby but he tried to hide it as best he could. He rolled his eyes if I asked if he wanted to help with any preparations. But of course, he always helped.

            “Of course, we can get those.” I said softly and kissed the top of his hair.

            He grunted and batted me away. "Stop it, that's gross” He protested and put the toys in our cart.

            Sebastian laughed softly and wrapped an arm around him. “Come up with any fun names for the baby?” He wondered.

            “Well…if you guys have a boy you should name him Steve so it’s like Captain America.” James decided. I smiled and started to walk behind them with the cart. I tuned into their conversation subtly.

            “Oh yeah? That would be neat, we can have a little theme going.” Sebastian smiled and nodded. “And what if it’s a girl? Stephanie?”

            James laughed. “No, Margaret, like Peggy Carter.”

            “Sounds good, we’ll see what mom thinks. But you two keep looking through the book okay?” He referenced the baby-naming book that sat on the kitchen table. James would flip through it, throwing out names every time he decided he liked them. We kept a highlighter on hand so he could mark down ones he really liked.

            “Okay. I just…” His voice faded slightly.

            “Something wrong, bud?” Sebastian lowered his head a bit to see if James was all right.

            “I just wish you didn’t have to go away next week.” I could barely hear my son’s voice as he mumbled out an answer.

            “I know, I wish I didn’t too.” He admitted. “But I’ll make sure to call you and your mom. And you can watch my interviews with everyone else. And I'll get you some souvenirs, that’ll be cool, right?”

            “Yeah…”

            “And if something happens and you need me home right away, I’ll be on the next flight home and you can count on that.”

            “Really?”

            “No questions asked.”

           

 

            I knew it would be hard being without Sebastian for a period of time. James was getting back into school and things had changed so much. I was around nine weeks pregnant and I was so emotional. My baby was now ten-years-old, Sebastian was away, and I was still getting messages from people I absolutely hated.

            Nick, Jessie, Jessie’s friends, and certain Marvel fans were after me. I got words of encouragement but I couldn’t help but focus on the negative ones. Sebastian was in the UK and that felt like light years away. I called him the morning I sent James back to school.

            “When he was going to first grade he wouldn’t let go of me. He was crying and just so upset. Today he wouldn’t let me hug him and just went off like it wasn’t a big deal.” I was sitting on a bench about a block away from James’s school on the phone with Sebastian.

            “He’s growing up, it’s going to happen.” He said gently. “It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you any less.”

            I sniffed and wiped my eyes. “God, it’s so stupid, why am I crying?”

            “It’s okay, Gabby, you can cry. I just wish I was there to comfort you.”

            “I miss you.”

            “I miss you too. It won’t be much longer though.”

            I swallowed and tried to compose myself on the bench. I pushed my hair back and took a few deep breaths. “What time is it there?”

            “Around noon.”

            “Okay…” I rubbed my eyes with my free hand. “Are you having fun?”

            “No. I mean, it’s nice to be around everyone but it’s exhausting.” He admitted. “It’s nonstop and the traveling isn’t easy either.”

            “Well…try to have some fun.” I reminded him. “When you come back I’m going to be a little more bloated.”

            He chuckled. “You’re beautiful, don’t forget that. I'm sure you're glowing.”

            “I’m not beautiful when I’m throwing up all the time.”

            “I thought your morning sickness was getting better?” He asked. “Is it getting worse again?”

            “No, it’s fine, it’s all normal. I couldn’t eat certain salad dressings when I was pregnant with James. This time around I’m having a hard time with fish.”

            “Is now a bad time to tell you I was planning a huge seafood dinner for when I got home?”

            I laughed and shook my head. “Being tired doesn’t slow you down at all, does it?”

            “I think I get funnier the more tired I get.”

            “Mhm.” I sighed and smoothed down my blouse to catch sight of the small baby bump forming. “Well, I was thinking about how things were going to be different this time.”

            “With the pregnancy?”

            “Yeah, I mean with James I only had my family supporting me. Now I have you and I feel a little spoiled.” I admitted.

            “Even though I’m not there?”

            “It doesn’t matter. You’re so loving and caring to me that I feel it even when you’re away.” I murmured. Despite that, my heart ached for him. I wanted him to be there to wrap his arm around me or kiss me.

            “I get that, but it’s still better to be with you.” He grumbled. “I hate sleeping alone.”

            “Just bunk with one of your coworkers.” I suggested cheekily. “I’m sure Evans would cuddle you. That way, you can feel what it’s like being the little spoon.”

            “Okay, I’m pretty sure that if Evans and I were dating I would be the top.”

            “Oh really?”

            “Yeah, really.”

            “You should pose that questions to your fans.”

            “Maybe I will.” He huffed. “Then I’ll come home and you can decide.” He growled under his breath.

            I bit my lip and felt my chest tighten with need. “Uh-oh, someone a little desperate?” I played coy a bit just to string him along for the conversation.

            “Don’t even remind me. Let’s just say that when I come home we’ll need a few days to ourselves.”

            “Sounds good to me.” I smiled. “Well, it’ll only be a few weeks and we’ll have our new place.” I reminded him in a teasing tone. “We can christen the bedroom.”

            “And the bathroom…and the couch…the dining room table…”

            “Easy, Stan.” I giggled and rolled my eyes at how boyish he could be sometimes. “We need to move in first.”

            “God fuck it, can I just come home early?” He whined. “No one’s asking me any questions, they won’t even notice I’m gone.”

            “I’m sure that’s not true.” I scolded. “This is your job, Sebastian, you can’t just drop everything for me.”

            “Yeah, yeah…” He sighed and I heard him leave his hotel room. “I’m going to get lunch but keep talking.” He prompted.

            I stood up and began walking back to the subway station to get to work. I was a little on the early side so I could take my time talking to him. “Well, …things are just going back to the fall routine. I mean they’re different but it’s good.”

            “Have you gotten any more messages?” He asked and I knew instantly he was talking about my ex.

            “I don’t care what they say to me.” I swiped my card and held the phone close to my ear so I could hear him in the loud station.

            “It doesn’t matter, they can’t be harassing you like this.” He said firmly. “I swear if they send you something else I’m going to get a restraining order.”

            I sighed. I didn’t want him to worry but there was no way of getting around it. “Alright.” I gave in. “But please try to stop thinking about it. Focus on what you’re doing there.”

            “Gabrielle, I’m not going to stop worrying about you, especially with all of this going on.”

            I stepped onto the train and found a seat. “It’s okay, I can handle myself.”

            “They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it. The things I’m reading, the things they’re saying…it’s all just bullshit and you don’t deserve it.”

            I bit my lip and felt guilty for dragging Sebastian into the mess I’d made. “Listen, they can say whatever they want. At the end of the day, I know that we’re okay. Nothing they say changes the way I feel about you or our family.”

            He went quiet for a moment. “Our family.” He whispered and I could hear the smile in his voice.

            I smiled too. “Exactly. That’s all that matters right now.” I said softly.

            “You’re right.” He took a breath and exhaled slowly. “You’re right.”

            “Go get lunch and text me.” I said as the train reached my stop. I stood up and waited for the doors to slide open.

            “Alright, I love you.”

            “I love you too.”

            “Tell James I hope he had a good day at school and tell the baby I love them.”

            “I will.”


	17. Chapter 17

 

                        I did everything I could to avoid the gossip about my relationship with Sebastian. I focused on getting James to school, work, and getting ready for the baby. It would’ve been a hundred times easier if Sebastian was home but he still wasn’t. But I was glad for Facetime and phone calls. They gave me a measure of sanity in the countdown until he came home.

 

            “Oh my God.” Sebastian groaned as I backed up from my computer to show him how much my baby bump had grown. “Can’t believe I’m missing this, you look gorgeous.”

            I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Honestly, you’re in for a treat. When I was pregnant with James I looked like a beached whale.” I warned.

            “Bullshit, I’ve seen pictures of you and that’s not true.”

            “Who showed you pictures of my pregnancy?”

            “James, he showed me his baby album.” He shrugged. “And like I suspected you looked beautiful.”

            “Yeah, I looked hot after my C-section. My face was pretty much some sort of yellowish green color and I looked like a zombie.” I sat back down in front of my laptop and rested my hands on my stomach.

            “Okay, well no one looks great after surgery.”

            “Mhm.” I reached for my water bottle.

            “Speaking of giving birth. Do you think you’re going to do a C-section again?” He wondered. “I was trying to read up on the difference. I wasn’t sure which sounded more painful, to be honest.”

            “My C-section wasn’t that painful. I was in labor for almost five hours before they decided to just take him out. They numbed me up.”

            “So you’d do that again?”

            “I dunno. Maybe, unless my labor sort of just happens and it goes smoothly. I haven’t really planned too much. I’ve got so much on my mind.” I admitted.

            He looked sympathetic. “I’m sorry, baby, I wish I could make it easier. I’ll be home soon.”

            “I know you don’t have to apologize,” I assured him and fiddled with the lid of my water bottle.

            He sighed and just gazed at me for a moment. “I can’t wait to hold you again.”

            “It’ll be sooner than you think.”

            “Hm…” He tilted his head to the side. “Oh, before you go, I’ve got an event in New York to go to. I was wondering if you wanted to tag along?”

            “An event?”

            “Yeah, it’s a charity thing, a few friends are going.”

            “Okay…like a red carpet thing?” I raised an eyebrow. I’d never tagged along to one of his events. The thought of being photographed on a whim in public was sickening enough to me. Going out knowing I’d be photographed deliberately was downright nauseating.

            “I guess you could say that. It’s not like a movie premiere, but reporters will be there.”

            “Do you think that’s the best idea with everything going around?” I winced. I wanted to be supportive of him but I was getting bad vibes from the idea.

            “If you’re not comfortable then I don’t want you to go.” He said gently. “But it might spread some positive press for us. I want people to see how much I love you.”

            I swallowed and nodded. This wasn’t a time for me to be selfish. I needed to stand by him. It wasn’t fair for him to face the questions about our relationship on his own. “Okay, I’ll go.”

            He smiled. “Awesome. I’ll have my stylist grab you a dress. She might want to get measurements just because of the baby bump.”

            “Okay.” I tried to sound excited when in reality I was nervous. “Fun.”

 

            Having Sebastian home was a relief. But knowing we had the event made me squirm. I tried to think of something to get out of it but it still didn’t seem fair to him. Especially when he sounded so happy to have me on his arm.

            I could hear James and Sebastian talking as I slipped into the dress.

            “Make sure mom doesn’t answer any questions about Marvel, she’ll just embarrass you.”

            Sebastian chuckled. “Alright, bud, I’ll take all the Marvel questions. How’s your packing going? Ready to move into the new apartment?”

            “Yeah, I’m excited.”

            “Me too. It’s going to be awesome to have you two around all the time.”

            I wanted to be happy. I was pregnant, I was moving in with the love of my life, and we had so much to look forward too. But the media and the fans were looming over me. Jessie’s lies and Nick’s scheming was creating anxiety that I couldn’t seem to shake. I was having a hard time sleeping, I panicked a bit when I heard my phone go off, and I was a little clingier to James.

            I was a mother and a girlfriend. I had to hold my chin up. So I smoothed down the black dress over my bump. “We can do this,” I whispered to my unborn baby. I picked up my heels and walked out of my room.

            Sebastian turned around when he heard me, and his eyes widened. “Holy…” He caught himself before he let any expletives slip out of his mouth.

            I blushed and did a small turn. It was fun dressing up. The most I’d ever worn was a cheap bridesmaid dress for my cousin’s wedding. But this dress was so elegant, I felt like a princess. The hems were adorned with gold stitching and the sleeves fell off my shoulders. I didn’t even mind I was pregnant, if anything, the dress made me look much better than I usually did in my leggings and oversized shirts. I didn’t want to even know how expensive it was though. Sebastian told me not to worry.

            “Mom, you look like a movie star too.” James smiled.

            “Aw, you’re so sweet.” I kissed his forehead, leaving a bit of lipstick. He made a face and rubbed it off.

            Sebastian still seemed a little caught off guard. “What?” I tilted my head at him. “Didn’t think I could pull off a red carpet dress?” I teased.

            “Wh-what? No, no! Of course not. I just…” His eyes scanned my body. “Yikes…” He looked a little hot and bothered.

            I smiled and straightened his bow tie. “Well, you don’t look too bad yourself,” I replied smugly.

            Thankfully, Sebastian got a little bit of a breather when the door buzzed. “That’s probably Miranda, you can let her in, James,” I said. He nodded and went in to let his usual babysitter into the apartment.

            “Fuck me, you look sexy…” Sebastian breathed when James was out of earshot. He grabbed my hip to gently pull me close.

            “Ah, ah, ah.” I pressed a finger to his lips before he could kiss me. “You can’t mess up my makeup.” I scolded and gave him a smirk.

            “You’re killing me.” He groaned.

            “Mhm, we should get a move on,” I said and walked to great Miranda, letting my hips swing just to tease him.

 

            Some of my anxiety subsided on the car ride to the event. Sebastian kept the atmosphere light, albeit flirtatious. The car pulled up to the edge of the street and I glanced out the tinted windows. My stomach turned when I saw the number of people already there.

            “Ready?” Sebastian opened the door before I answered and got out. He offered a hand to me so I wouldn’t trip on the curb.

            I was okay for a few steps. Then attention shifted to Sebastian. I linked arms with him as he led me down the walkway. He paused and stood with me in front of a full line of photographers.

            I looked up at him, hoping for some sort of cue. But he just stood there with his usual smile. I took a shaky breath and tried to look happy and relaxed too. Despite his calm demeanor beside me, I felt like jumping out of my skin.

            Eventually, we walked out of the view of photographers. My eyes were still spotting a little from the camera flashes.

            “Sebastian, quick word?” Someone called out.

            “C’mere.” Sebastian led me over to who was talking to him.

            I didn’t say anything as I followed. I could hardly focus under the blinding lights. My eyes started to water and I dabbed at them so I didn’t mess up my eyeliner. I wasn’t sure if it was from the lights or I was actually crying.

            I didn’t listen to Sebastian talking to the reporter, he had let go of my hand and I was a few feet away from him. I was so dazed and overwhelmed. I began to get a little faint.

            “Gabby…Gabrielle?” I heard his voice calling me back to him.

            “Yeah?”

            He looked concerned and had approached me. “You look sick, are you okay?”

            “Yeah…yeah…” I swallowed and looked around. “I’m going to try to find a quieter place,” I told him.

            “I’ll come with you.”

            “No, finish up what you’re doing.” I waved him off. “I’ll be okay.”

            “Nonsense.” He thanked the reporter and walked with me through the crowd to find a less active place near the building.

            It was a little darker and I realized I had really started to cry. Sebastian seemed horrified that he hadn’t noticed my distress.

            “Sit.” He found a bench and helped me sit down. “Sh, sh, sh…Gabby it’s okay.” He pulled off his sports coat and draped it around my shoulders.

            I felt utterly stupid. I couldn’t stand by him, support him, and be there for him. I was a wimp who couldn’t handle a few lights and a few people. I cried the more self-degrading talk went through my head.

            “Talk to me,” Sebastian begged and knelt in front of me. He rested his hands on my shoulders and attempted to get me to look at him. “Gabby, please.”

            “I-I can’t do th-this.” I sobbed.

            “It’s okay, you don’t need to. We can go home right now.”

            “N-no, you need to stay.” I wiped my eyes, not caring what my makeup looked like anymore. “God I feel like such an idiot.”

            “Hey, don’t say that.” He tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear and touched my cheek. “I shouldn’t have pressured you into this.”

            “You didn’t pressure me.”

            “Still, you’re not used to this like I am. I should’ve realized how jarring it would be.” He groaned. “I’m the idiot.”

            “Stop…” I looked up at him. “I should support you. I-I should be there for you.”

            “Gabrielle, you support me no matter what.” He said softly. “Coming to something like this isn’t supporting me. I was being selfish because I wanted to show you off. I wanted people to see you the way I see you. I’m sick of all these rumors and I thought doing this would change that but it won’t. I put you through this and I don’t know what else to do to stop it.” He looked helpless.

            “I can’t handle it anymore.” I cried quietly. “It’s too much.”

            He swallowed. “I know. I’m sorry…Gabby, I’m so sorry.” He held me close and let me cry on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”


	18. Chapter 18

 

            Sebastian didn’t bring up that night again. He apologized a few more times but I told him there was nothing to apologize for. So he dropped the subject.

            We were far too busy to stay stuck in that moment. We found an apartment that was close to James’s school and big enough for our growing family. We mostly just had to figure out what we would and wouldn’t take from our old apartments. The biggest task was organizing James and the baby’s room. It was daunting to suddenly have this much larger space than I was used to. I got accustomed to Sebastian’s apartment but now we had an extra room and a bigger living space.

            It was still mostly empty when we went in to figure out paint colors. It certainly didn’t feel like a home yet but I was optimistic that it would feel cozier when it was furnished.

            I was in the nursery holding up some paint swatches when I heard Sebastian and James laughing. I smiled and walked down the hallway to see what they were up to.

            Both had taken off their shoes so they were in socks and were sliding around the hardwood floors.

            “Be careful you two, I don’t want to have to take anyone to the hospital today,” I warned but laughed softly.

            James took a running start and slid across the living room floor. Sebastian grabbed him and threw him over his shoulder. “Yeah James, don’t be reckless.” He teased.

            “This was your idea!” James protested.

            “Well, we might as well use the space before the furniture’s put in.” Sebastian chuckled and set him down. “Next time we’ll play floor hockey.” He promised.

            “So you can make nicks on the walls before we even move in?” I raised an eyebrow and walked into the kitchen to get my phone off the counter.

            “I promise we won’t do anything of the sort.” Sebastian winked at James who nodded.

            “Well, I think I picked out a paint color for the nursery. After my appointment tomorrow we can pick it up and start painting.” I offered.

            “Yeah, that’ll be a fun weekend.” Sebastian agreed. “Let’s get this place ready for the Stan-Wilsons.”

 

            “Can the men come back in?” Sebastian poked his head into the exam room.

            “I’m all set, c’mon in.” I handed him my clothes all folded up.

            He and James walked in and Sebastian helped me up onto the table. I had already been to a few ultrasounds but I decided that it would be good to have them at this appointment. The baby would be a little more developed and easier to see. I was eighteen weeks along and there were definitely a lot of changes to be seen. I wanted to make sure James wasn’t uncomfortable or scared. A week or two before, he’d panicked when I drove somewhere, he was convinced pregnant women couldn’t drive. He was terrified that the smallest thing could hurt me. And I was sure he was picking it up from Sebastian.

            More than a few times, Sebastian had startled me in the shower because he thought he heard me fall. He was afraid that even the smallest tasks were too much for me to handle. And the man wouldn’t let me lift anything heavier than a box of cereal. So I hoped the ultrasound would show them that everything was perfectly okay. I had been pregnant before and knew how the game went. I needed to assure them that going for a run or working my usual job wasn’t going to kill me.

 

            James stood near my head and looked up at the ultrasound machine. “How does it work?” He wondered.

            “I’m not exactly sure,” I admitted. “You should ask the nurse, she’ll know. All I know is you'll be able to see your baby brother or sister.”

            “Okay…” He rested his chin on my shoulder.

            I stroked his hair back and smiled. “Are you excited to see the baby?”

            “Yeah. I guess I’ll be more excited when it actually comes out.” He shrugged. "But this will be pretty cool."

            “Me too.” I agreed. I looked at Sebastian who was fidgeting impatiently. He had been so upset that he was away during one of my ultrasounds. Despite being many in the future, he wanted to be there each time.

            The ultrasound technician, Katie, walked in after a few moments of waiting. “Alright, we've got a full house this time. You must be Sebastian.”

            “Yes, it’s nice to meet you.” Sebastian stood up to shake her hand.

            “And you must be James.”

            My son smiled shyly and nodded. Sebastian pulled his chair up beside James and let him sit on his knees so they could both see the screen.

            “Well, you’ve got a pretty cute little baby growing in there.” Katie lifted up the gown and applied the gel. “You’re eighteen weeks along so you’ll start to feel the little peanut moving around in there.” She moved the wand around my stomach. “Okay boys, there’s the baby.” She pointed to the screen. “See the little hand near the face?”        

            “Whoa…” James leaned forward to see.

            “Oh my God…” Sebastian laughed and put a hand to his mouth.

            I reached for his hand when I saw tears in his eyes. “Sebs…”

            He swallowed and shook his head. “I’m okay, I’m better than okay.” He couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. “I just can’t wait.” He leaned over to kiss my forehead. “I love you.”

 

            “Alright, do we have a game plan?” Sebastian put his hands on his hips. 

            “Well, I can do the edges around the baseboard, I've done this a few times so I'll try to keep it neat. You two can go crazy though, any mistakes we can fix later.” I tied my hair back and knelt down to carefully pry open the paint can.

            “You heard her, James.” He handed him a paint roller. “Go crazy.”

 

           It took a few hours to finish painting the room. It probably could’ve gone faster if we had taken it a little more seriously but that would've been boring. We cranked up some energetic music and let the day pass us as we painted. Things got a little messier than planned; half of James was covered in the powder blue paint and the sheets covering the floor were doused in paint. Sebastian got paint on my back and in my hair as we danced to a few songs. And even Captain ended up tracking blue paw prints around the room as he ran around barking.

            But we managed to get it done before dinner. To commemorate the day, we each placed a handprint near the light switch in the paint color we were going to use for James’s bedroom.

_Dad_

_Mom_

_James_

_Captain_

            And we left space for the baby for when they arrived.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pregnancy, hospitals, birth

            _Sebastian Stan’s Pregnant Girlfriend Seen Out_

_Sources Say She’s Close to Her Due Date_

_Marvel Actor’s Girlfriend Looks Ready to Pop!_

 

            I frowned at Isabel’s latest text of all the media articles pointed at me. I looked down at my stomach. I did look ready to pop. Of course, the baby was taking their sweet time though.

            Worst of all, Sebastian had to be away for a convention. Every hour he checked in, asking if I had gone into labor yet. I assured him each time that I was still pregnant. I certainly missed him but it was good to get some time alone with James and also I could continue to unpack without Sebastian insisting I take a break or not lift anything.

            The day Sebastian was gone, it was raining and a Sunday. James agreed to watch a movie with me, as long as he could pick. Unsurprisingly, he chose Black Panther again. The kid couldn’t get enough of it even though he had actually met most of the cast.

            I’d been a little uncomfortable most of the day. I figured it was the way the baby was positioned or if my body was just sick of being pregnant. But something was amiss and James was the first to realize.

            I pulled my son close to cuddle him. “Why don’t you ever cuddle with me anymore?” I pouted and squeezed him tightly.

            “I’m not a baby, mom.” He made a face. Then that face morphed into a quizzical glance. “Mom…why are you all wet?”

            “Wet?” I looked down and realized that my gray leggings were stained with something dark. “Uh…not sure.” I looked over at the water glass on the coffee table that I hadn’t touched.

            “Ew, did you pee your pants?” He jumped away from me.

            “James Wilson.” I scolded and stood up to figure out the source. “Oh…yeah.” I paused and cleared my throat. “Jamie, can you go grab my phone?”

            He raised an eyebrow at me but went to the kitchen. He came back to hand me my phone. “What’s going on?”

            “Hold on.” I held up a hand and dialed Sebastian’s number. My foot tapped impatiently as I waited for him to pick up. “Dammit. James, did you say you could stream the convention?”

            “The panels? Yeah, I could see.” He nodded.

            “Go get my laptop and see if Sebastian’s in a panel.” I tried a few different numbers to get to him. Chris, Anthony, his agent, Chris’s agent, Anthony’s agent. I thought it was stupid that Sebastian had given me a long list of every possible person who would be around him that weekend, just in case he didn’t answer his phone.

            James returned and put the laptop on the couch, avoided the damp spot where I’d been sitting. “Mom, are you okay?”

            “I’m fine, sweetheart,” I said and knelt down to see that Sebastian _was_ in fact in the middle of a Q&A panel. Of course, everyone that I had a number for was sitting there, aside from their agents. I groaned and tried Sebastian’s number one more time. “C’mon…” I whispered as I looked at him on the screen, willing him to pick up.

            Almost like magic, he reached into his pocket and glanced at the phone screen.

            “Yes, yes, yes, pick up.”

            “Hang on, this is my girlfriend.” He held the microphone away from his face and answered.

            “Thank God you answered, my water broke.” I burst out before he could even say anything to me.

            I watched as Sebastian jumped from his seat. “What? Really?”

            “What does that mean?” James butted in.

            “Don’t panic.” I prefaced.

            “Too late!” He looked at Chris and Anthony, suddenly totally frazzled.

            “I’m going to call my doctor, she might not even have me go to the hospital yet. I’m going to take a shower, and see what she says. We have a few hours before anything really happens.”

            “Gabrielle, I’m in another state. I’m hours away.”

            “That’s okay. If you’re not here…”

            “No, I’ll be there. That’s not even a question. Hang on.” He grabbed the microphone. “I have to leave, the baby’s on the way.” He said quickly to the surprise of his costars and the entire audience. He waved and dashed off the stage.

            I stood up, walking away from the laptop. “Just take a few deep breaths.”

            “I’ll see when the soonest flight is. It shouldn’t be more than three hours. Keep the baby in there as long as you can.”

            I laughed and shook my head. “I will try my darndest. Just try not to drive yourself crazy, I’m sure you’ll make it. It might take all night.”

            “Okay, okay, okay, okay.” He sounded like he was running. “Can I talk to James?”

            “Uh, yeah sure.” I handed my phone to James who looked confused.

            “Hello?” He listened to what Sebastian had to say. “Okay, yeah…I will. Yeah, see you soon.”

            “What did he say?” I wondered as he passed the phone back to me. I started to dial my doctor’s number.

            “He said I had to keep you calm and be there for you. Is the baby really coming?” He seemed a little intimidated by the situation. “What do I have to do?”

            “Nothing, sweetheart.” I kissed his hair. “We’ll leave when Dr. Ines says we should. We just need to stay calm and keep breathing, okay?”

            “Okay.”

           

            Per the obstetrician’s advice, we waited an hour after calling Sebastian before going to the maternity ward. Sebastian told me he was boarding a flight back to New York and he’d be there in a little under three hours.

            James kept me calm without really realizing what he was doing. He sat with me, talking about everything but the labor. He talked about Marvel, about superheroes, and comics. It distracted me from the looming anxiety I felt about the birth.

 

            “And then Ant-Man showed up. He’s sort of new to being a superhero so he’s all like ‘whoa…Captain America…’”

            “Mhm.”

            “That’s when the teams form, Captain America and Iron Man. Even though they were friends and they were on the same team.”

            “That’s sad, I wonder why they can't work it out?”

            “I’m team Captain America but I also really like Iron Man. I hope in the next movie they're friends again because I don't want to have to decide.”

            “I’m here, I’m here.” Sebastian burst into the room looking like he’d run through a hurricane to get there. “The baby’s not here yet, right?”

            “Nope, still in the oven, getting close though.”      

            He walked over to kiss my cheek. “Jesus, you had me so worried.” He exhaled with some relief.

            “Sorry, I didn’t think it would happen at such an inopportune moment,” I said sheepishly.

            “Well, when it happens, it happens.” He smiled and sat down next to James. “Good job, bud. You made sure everything went well. I guess now we have to do is wait.”

 

            “Ugh, this is taking so long,” James whined from his spot in the corner of the room.

            I laughed softly. “Just enjoy this quiet for now. Soon we’ll be knee deep in dirty diapers and sleepless nights.”

            Sebastian smiled. He was sitting behind me on the bed; gently massaging out any aches and pains I had in my shoulders and back. I almost expected him to panic, like he had when he got the news. But he was very levelheaded and taking care of everything. He had a few different timers going off on his phone, one to track contractions, even though there was a machine to do that, and another to remind me to change positions.

            I heard the ding and glanced behind my back. “Time to move?”

            “Time to move.” He nodded and turned the ringer off. He helped me tip forward and got up. “What do you want to do?”

            “I’ll take James for a walk.” I decided and disconnected the monitors. I took his hands to heave myself up. “Alright, baby, let’s go to the vending machines.” I reached for his hand.

            James jumped up and grabbed my hand, walking slowly with me down the hall. “Does it hurt?” He asked.

            “Not too badly,” I answered. “I remembered being so nervous that I would be in too much pain. But I got through it. Even though you certainly took your time.” I teased.

            He smiled sheepishly. “I think you should name the baby Stela.” He said shyly.

            “Stela?”

            “With one ‘L’.” James fed the vending machine the dollar.

            “I think that’s very pretty, why did you decide on that one?” I wondered with a small smile.

            “It means star, and that’s how they spell it in Romania, where Sebastian was born.” He explained, his eyes scanning over the snacks behind the glass.

            “I think that might be the one.” I agreed. “But what if it’s a boy?”

            He jabbed the numbers on the pad to choose the Goldfish bag. “I dunno. I just think it’s going to be a girl.”

            “Really? And you’re okay with that?”

            He stuck his hand into the bottom compartment to retrieve his snack. “Well, if it’s a girl then she won’t want to take my stuff. Unless she’s into Marvel things. But you could get her girly Marvel things so she won’t want to take my Marvel things.”

            “Mhm.”

            “And then you and Sebastian will have a boy and a girl.” He shrugged as we started to walk back to the hospital room. “But then if you decide to have a third kid, that would make things uneven. Unless you have twins like Jack and Jake in my class. They’re twins. But to make it even you’d have to have a girl twin and a boy twin.”

            “So you want an even number of boys and girls?” I was amused by the whole conversation and could honestly listen to him for hours.

            “Well if we ever play a game then it’s even.” He shrugged. “Like football.”

            “You want Sebastian and I to have enough kids to make up two football teams?” I giggled.

            He grinned. “No, but that would be cool.”

            “I think we’d have to move again and again and again to make space. And Sebastian would have to make lots of movies so we’d have enough money to feed all you.”

            “Alright, then maybe just Stela and I. Or twins.”

            “I like the way you think.” I held him close to my side.

 

            The hours passed and it was finally time to welcome the baby into the world. James went to the waiting room where Georgeta, Anthony, and my parents were anxiously waiting. I had my mom and Georgeta in the delivery room for a bit but I got too overwhelmed. So it was just Sebastian and me.

            I lay on my side and pinched my eyes shut. “My bad decisions are flashing past my eyes.” I grimaced.

            “Like having sex with me?” Sebastian chuckled and took my hands in his.

            “It seemed so nice at the time.” My voice went up an octave as I felt another contraction rack my body.

            “I’ll make sure to wrap it up next time.”

            “It’ll be a few weeks before you’re even close to the inside of my thighs, Stan,” I warned.

            “Fair enough.” He wiped my forehead for the millionth time and pressed a cool cloth to my cheeks and neck. “It was worth it for me though.”

            I opened my eyes and gave him a deadly look. “Oh yeah, because you’re about to push out a cabbage patch doll without any drugs.” I snarled.

            He winced and retreated a little. “I mean…”

            “Fuck off. I love you.” I rolled onto my back and whined. “I swear to God, if this baby turns out to be an ungrateful teenager, after all, I've done to bring their ass into the world, I'm going to be so upset.

            “That's thirteen years away, doll, we don't need to worry about that now. Let’s do breathing exercises again.” Sebastian offered. “Maybe that’ll help.”

            “What will help is getting this thing out of me, ASAP.” I cried and tried to sit up to make myself comfortable.

            Sebastian supported me and gently rubbed my stomach. “Soon, _dragoste_ , I promise.”

            The doctor and nurses entered the room and I knew it was show time. “Alright, Miss Wilson, we’re going to start pushing, ready?” Dr. Ines seated herself by my feet.

            “I’m right here, love, I'm not going anywhere.” Sebastian took my hand and placed a hand behind my head to ground me. “Let’s get through this together.”

            “Oh my God, please just come out!” I tightened my grip on his hand and was close to screaming. 

            “I see some hair…your baby is going to come out ready for a haircut.” My doctor laughed softly. “Keep going, Gabby, you’re doing great.”

            “Look, Gabby…” Sebastian tilted my head up and we both looked to see the baby crowning.

            “So close…and here she is!”

            I felt a massive relief lift off of me when I heard the telltale screeching of a newborn baby. “James was right…it’s a girl. How in the world does he know stuff like that?” I breathed in disbelief.

            “Sebastian, you can come cut the umbilical cord.” My doctor guided him over.

            I watched as Sebastian began to cry at the sight of his daughter. “My hands are shaking too much.” He admitted with a shaky laugh.

            “Here,” A nurse steadied his hands and guided him through the motions of welcoming Stela into the world.

            She was placed on my chest and I burst out crying with her and Sebastian. She screamed like a banshee and was covered in sticky fluids but I didn’t care. She was beautiful and my unconditional love started right then and there.

            “Hi, gorgeous.” Sebastian knelt down beside me, taking in the sight of our baby girl. “Gabby…” He stuttered tearfully.

            “I know…” I laughed and nuzzled Stela close as she began to quiet down. “I know…”

            Sebastian kissed my forehead. “I thought I was at my peak happiness when you and James came into my life but now…now everything is perfect. It’s all perfect.”


	20. Chapter 20

            James walked into the hospital room with a questioning look. “Is she here?” He wondered.

            “Yes, she is. You’re my little psychic aren’t you?” I smiled warmly and reached for him.

            He let me hug him close but he was still looking around. “Where is she?”

            “Over here.” Sebastian stood up and walked over with our bundle of joy. “Little Stela Stan. Good call on the name, bud, I think it suits her perfectly.”

            “Here, why don’t you sit next to me and you can hold her.” I moved over to give him space on the hospital bed. I wrapped an arm around him and kissed his forehead.

            “There we go.” Sebastian settled the newborn in his arms. “Stela, this is your big brother.” He murmured.

            James looked totally in awe as he looked down at her. “Was I this small when I was born?” He asked.

            “You were almost the exact same weight. You were a tad longer though.” I adjusted her swaddle as she yawned and tried to move her fist around. “What do you think?”

            James smiled and nodded. “I like being a brother.” He decided.

            Stela opened her eyes and looked up at him. “Soon she’ll be talking and walking around. You kids grow up too fast.” I sighed and rested my cheek against his hair. “It feels like you were born just last week.” I laughed softly.

            “Things have changed a lot though.” James glanced up at me.

            “Yeah, they have. But only for the better.”

 

            “She’s asleep.” Sebastian walked into the kitchen a few days after Stela was born. “I honestly think I’m a pro at changing diapers now.”

            “Oh really? I think you have much to learn, Padawan.” I teased.

            He laughed and pulled me close by my waist. He pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m so happy. I haven’t slept properly in a few days but I’m happy.”

            “You should take a nap.” I murmured. “I was just going to clean the house a little. Then I have to pick up James from school.”

            “You should be resting too, you're still recovering.” He reminded me.

            “I’m fine. It was more of a recovery process when I had James because I had stitches. I feel great.” I drew away and went back to tidying up the kitchen.

            “Okay.” He nodded. “I’d probably be laid up in bed for a few weeks if I had to do that but you’ve always been stronger than me.”

            “Mhm, right.” I ran my hand down his arm muscles. "Because I have bigger muscles than you do, 'Marvel Boy'." I gently squeezed his biceps to prove my point.

            “You know what I mean.” He chuckled.

            I winked at him and turned around. “Have you told everyone?” I asked.

            “Other than family? Not really. I told Evans and Mackie, they said they’d come to visit as soon as they can. I was going to post something on Instagram though just to break the news.” He shrugged. “I figured that would be the easiest way.”

            I nodded. “You should use that picture of her feet that we took, the cute black and white one. Or maybe one of you holding her for the first time, the one the nurse took.”

            He glanced over to the baby monitor on the kitchen counter when he heard a soft whine that morphed into a crying fit. “Be right back.”

            I smiled and listened to the monitor as Sebastian walked into the nursery.

            “Hey, my _îngera_ _ș_ , what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He cooed softly. “Sh, _draga mea_ , it’s okay, dad’s here.”

            Stela quieted down and I realized I couldn’t have picked a better man. I picked up my phone and scrolled through the pictures from Stela’s birth. I picked one of Sebastian and her and posted it on Instagram. Everything seemed perfect. Too perfect to last.

 

 

            A few weeks after Stela was born, we took her out for a walk. The fall air was closing in on the city but the sun was still warm enough to enjoy.

            “Perfect football weather.” Sebastian handed James the football as they walked in front of the stroller.

            “Do you think Stela will want to play sports when she’s old enough?” James asked, tossing the football up in the air a few times.

            “Maybe, I think she’d like it if you taught her how to play.” Sebastian nodded.

            We came to our favorite grassy area and I sat down on the nearby bench. “What’s James and daddy doing?” I cooed and reached into the stroller to fix the blankets over Stela’s little feet.

            She yawned and stretched her arms over her head in response.

            “Take a nap, _draga mea_.” I murmured and pushed the stroller back and forth to lull her to sleep. I’d picked up on Sebastian’s Romanian pet names for her.

            I heard a faint buzzing from the pockets on the stroller. I dug around and came up with Sebastian’s phone. An unknown number was calling him.

            “Sebs?”

            “Yeah?” He called back as he threw the football to James.

            “Someone’s calling you but I don’t recognize the number.”

            “You can answer it, it’s probably a telemarketer.”

            I held the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”

            “Gabby, you answer his phone? You really do have him on a tight leash.”

            I closed my eyes and had to take a few deep breaths. “Nick, how did you get his number?” I demanded.

            “That’s not important.”

            “I told you to leave my family alone.”

            “That’s right, I think congratulations are in order. Is he on the birth certificate? I just want to make sure he has some leverage for when he’s trying to get custody from you in a few years.”

            “Oh drop it. Sebastian has never and will never act the way you did. He’s the perfect father and deserves to be in his children’s’ life because he’s been there and cares for them.”

            “So James is his child now too?”

            “He’s going to adopt him when we get married, so yes.” My jaw tightened and I tried to focus on keeping Stela asleep.

            “Are you serious, Gabrielle?” His voice started to unravel like I’d never heard it before. "Of all the things you could do, you're going to hand him over to that guy?"

            “I don’t know what to tell you, you lost the case. You don’t deserve to be in his life.” I shot back.

            “Gabby, please, just let me meet him.” There was something there that I hadn’t heard from him ever. I wasn’t sure if it was devastation or grief, but it sounded genuine. I didn’t think he was capable of being genuine.

            “I…I told you he doesn’t want to see you.” I hesitated.

            “Please…I just want to see him. Even if he decides he doesn’t want to see me ever again, just let me meet him. I know I’ve fucked up but it’s been getting to me and I just…I just need to meet him.”

            I swallowed and suddenly felt like the villain. “I will talk to him. But I don’t owe you anything. You can’t imagine the hell you and Jessie put us through. You could’ve damaged Sebastian’s career.”

            “I was angry. I know I can’t make it up to you but just let me meet him and I’ll leave you alone.”

            “You promise?”

            “Yes.”

            I sighed and looked over at my son who was smiling brightly as he played with Sebastian. I didn’t want to make things more complicated in his life. He deserved some peace. But I tried to put myself in Nick’s shoes for the first time. No matter how much grief he caused me, I couldn’t imagine never meeting my only child for the first decade of his life. I was completely torn and needed Sebastian to talk things through before I proceeded. “I will talk to him, but you can’t rush it,” I warned.

            “Okay, just keep me posted, please.”

            “I will.” I hung up the phone and wrung my hands together. No matter how I approached the situation, it wouldn’t be easy.


	21. Chapter 21

            “Gabby…”

            I glanced up from my phone. “What?” My heart nearly melted when I saw Sebastian standing in the doorway holding Stela after coming back from dropping James off at school. She was in the blue striped onesie, one of many that Anthony bought for her, and a white flower headband. Chris had bought us one of each color to match every outfit she’ll ever wear in her infancy. What added to the cuteness was how Sebastian took the time every morning to make sure she matched perfectly.

            “Is everything okay?” He looked concerned. “You’ve seemed a little out of it the past few days.”

            I swallowed. I hadn’t told him about Nick’s request yet and it had nearly been a week. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

            “What does that mean?” Sebastian walked into the bedroom and placed Stela in the bassinette by our bed.

            I nervously chewed on my nails and put my phone aside. “I have to get ready for work,” I said quietly and stood up.

            “Gabrielle, I’m not just going to let this go, I care about you and if something is wrong you need to tell me,” Sebastian said firmly.

            I realized he maybe thought I was going through some post-partum depression. It was something my OB/GYN mentioned and told Sebastian to keep an eye out just in case I felt like I couldn’t tell him. It wouldn’t be fair to him especially if he thought Stela was involved.

            I stepped into the closet and paused. I would never have thought I would own a walk-in closet in my lifetime. I sighed and realized how much Sebastian had given me. I didn’t care about the material things, although they were nice. The peace of mind he gave me was more than I could ever repay him. It wasn’t fair to him.

            “When you and James were playing football, Nick called your phone,” I said and turned around to look at him.

            He groaned and sat down on the edge of our bed. He put a hand over his face. “Not again.”

            “What do you mean? He’s called you before?” The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

            “I never answered, he left me messages.” He admitted.

            “Sebastian, why didn’t you tell me?” I walked out of the closet to face him.

            He looked up at me with guilt in his eyes. I thought I was the only one keeping secrets. “Because we just had a child, I didn’t want you to stress out. Why didn’t you tell me you answered a call from him?”

            We were both trying to deflect the blame from ourselves, the guilt was too much to handle. “Because I’m still trying to decide what I want to do.” I retorted. “I seriously need to get ready to go to work.” I went back into the closet. I just needed to go on with my day. I would figure out a solution later.

            “Decide what to do about what?” He asked. “What did he tell you?”

            I frantically shifted through my work clothes before I picked out an outfit and got dressed. “It’s nothing, Sebastian, just please let me get ready,” I said and headed to the bathroom.

            Before I could, he grabbed my wrist. “Look at me.” He demanded in a quiet, but firm voice. “What did he tell you?”

            I tried to swallow the tears in my eyes. “Let go of me.” I pulled away from him. "I told you I don't want to talk about it right now, I'm going to be late for work." I continued to avoid his eyes.

            “Gabrielle, this is important, you can’t hide this from me!” He snapped. "You've never kept secrets from me." 

            “This has nothing to do with you!” I replied. I felt my body shaking with fear and anger. I wasn’t necessarily angry with Sebastian but I had no one else to take it out on. He was an easy target.

            “Nothing to do with me?” He looked appalled. “I’m a part of this family more than he is.”

            “You’re not James’s father!” I cried and burst out into tears.

            He stared at me for a few seconds. “So that’s what this is about?” He voice was lower than mine but still held the same amount of frustration. “He’s still begging for another chance and you’re going to give it to him?”

            “What am I supposed to do?”

            “Listen to the court ruling! He doesn’t have any custody over him, he has no rights!”

            My lower lip trembled and I hugged myself. “How would you like it if I took Stela away from you and you had to wait ten years to meet her?”

            “You didn’t take James away from him, he left you. He didn’t contact you until I came into the picture and when he got engaged. What does that tell you about how much he really cares about James? If he truly cared he would've worked something out years ago but he didn't. He's doing this for appearances, Gabby, he knows that it's in the public eye, he wants to be the hero of the story now that he's made us out to be the villains! He's done nothing but try to manipulate everything.”

            The truth was like daggers in my heart. But I didn’t want to listen. “It doesn’t matter what he did to us, it’s about James. That's all it's about. He's his son, Sebastian.” I shook my head in denial.

            “James doesn’t want to meet him, you know that better than anyone. The kid damn near ran away because he was so scared that jackass would show up! Now you're going to try to coerce him into meeting the man who abandoned him? And you're going to act like I have nothing to do with this?”

            I wanted to cover my ears so badly and just tune him out. “Stop, just stop!” I begged.

            “Why are you picking his side over your family’s side? He’s done nothing for you and nothing for James. I’ve been here for you since the day we met. I accepted James without a question. What else do I have to do to prove that I care about you and James? You’re going to just give him whatever he wants because he came crying to you over the fucking phone? After everything I’ve done for you?”

            “So this is all about your ego now? You’re the big strong prince charming who came in and took care of a poor single mother who could survive? I was doing fine without you! We didn’t need you!” I snapped back at him.            

            “I love you, Gabrielle, I love James and I love our daughter. But you can’t do this to me and you can’t do this to James. You don’t owe him anything, don’t you see that?” He whispered and tried to touch my upper arms.

            I jerked away from him and wiped my tears away. “Don’t touch me.” My voice cracked as I grabbed my makeup and shoved it into my purse. “I’ll be back after I pick James up from school.” I hiccupped and rushed to leave the apartment.

            “Gabby…c’mon.” Sebastian followed me to the door. “Just please stay and talk to me.” He pled but I didn’t listen.

            I heard Stela start to cry as I closed the door behind me.


	22. Chapter 22

            “Hey, sweetheart.” I smiled gently when I saw James walking out of the school.

            “Bye James.” A girl with curly black hair and a shy smile walked by him with a few friends. They all giggled as he smiled and nodded back at them.

            “Who was that?” I asked as we began to walk back home.

            “Katie, my friend.” He answered with a shrug.

            “Just a friend?”

            “Mom.” He rolled his eyes and tugged me away from the schoolyard. “Don’t embarrass me here.”

            “I’m not, I’m not!” I promised and followed him down the sidewalk. "I just want to know whether you had a little girlfriend or not." 

            “She's not my girlfriend! Just drop it. How’s Stela?” James asked just like he did every day after school.

            “Good, I think she’s starting to recognize her name and everyone around her.”

            “That’s cool.” He smiled.

            “So, I wanted to talk to you about something,” I said and offered to take his backpack from him.

            He let me so he didn’t have to carry it the rest of the way home. “Okay.”

            “It’s something serious and I want you to be completely honest with me about it.”

            “Am I in trouble?”

            “No, not at all,” I assured him. “I just wanted to check in about your dad.”

            “Not Sebastian…”

            “No, not Sebastian. Your biological dad.”

            “What about him?” Almost instantly, demeanor turned a little frosty and his eyes fixed on the sidewalk.

            I swallowed. “I was just wondering if you ever wanted to meet him at any point?”

            He stopped in his tracks and looked up at me. “You said you weren’t going to let him see me…you promised.” He accused rapidly in a panic.

            “James, I know.” I touched his shoulder. “And it’s totally your choice, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.

            He jerked away from me. “Then why would you even bring that up?” He demanded. “He abandoned us!”

            “He’s still your father.” I tried to calm him down but I knew talking about it more wouldn’t help anything. “I know what happened but he’ll always be your father, you can’t change that.”

            “He’s not my father.” James spat and rushed up the stairs to our apartment door.

            I couldn’t catch up to him before he slammed the door on me. I rushed upstairs and found Sebastian standing in the kitchen. He had Stela in one arm and the other was around James as he clung to his legs, sobbing.

            He looked a little confused as he tried to comfort James. I swallowed and walked over. I took Stela from Sebastian’s arms so he could go talk to James in his room.

            I sat down on the couch and tried not to cry. I tried to focus my attention on Stela as she stirred in her swaddle. She opened her eyes and cooed softly as she saw me.

            “Hi, _draga mea_.” I whispered, “How was your day with daddy?” I brushed her dark hair back and smiled sadly.

            A few moments later, Sebastian walked out of James’s room. He came to sit next to me on the couch, not saying anything for a little while.

            I swallowed my pride. “Go ahead, tell me you told me so.” I sniffled.

            “I wouldn’t do that to you.” He replied quietly.

            “Why not? I was horrible to you this morning and I made my son cry.” I couldn’t hold back my tears.

            “Gabby…” He sighed and took Stela from my arms. He set her down on the play mat, underneath the mobile to entertain her. He returned to me and wrapped his arms around me. “You were doing what you thought was right.”

            “No, I was being selfish and acting out of guilt. I thought he would resent me later if I never let him meet Nick.” I curled up in his arms and cried openly.

            “You’re not perfect.” He rubbed my back. “I’m not perfect either. I was angry because I thought I was enough for him. I thought I could be enough of a father.”

            “You are…” I hiccupped and buried my face in the crook of his neck. “You’re more than enough you’re perfect to him. You’ve given him everything he ever wanted. I didn’t mean to undermine you but…I’m just so afraid he’s going to hate me later on.”

            “He could never hate you, _iubi_.” He whispered. “He’ll be a teenager, yes, but that’s normal.”

            I swallowed and took a deep breath. “I love you more than anything, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to fight with you.”

            “We’re going to argue, that’s normal. Just so long as you kiss me and say you love me before we go to bed.” He murmured softly and ran his fingers through my hair.

            “I love you,” I said tearfully and kissed him as if my life depended on it.

 

            “Stela Bella…”

            “Use the little toy to get her to look.”

            “Stela…look at Elmo!”

            “She’s too interested in the squirrels.”

            “Chris, grab a squirrel and hold it up for her.”

            “Haha, how about you just get your child to look over here?”

           

            It was late fall and I realized I didn’t have a good picture of all four of us together. So I enlisted the help of Chris, who was visiting New York and crashing at our apartment for a few nights. Things had been going so nicely, I wanted to document every little moment with my family.

            “If this goes well enough, we can use this as a Christmas card,” I promised.  

            “Stela, _îngera_ _ș_ , look at Uncle Chris.” Sebastian coaxed.

            Stela giggled and shakily stood up. She toddled away from my arms and grabbed onto Sebastian’s cheeks, completely distracted by everything else but the camera. She looked so cute in her little lilac colored dress, but her eyes were always full of mischief. She loved getting herself into trouble. She was walking well before any of expected and always caused chaos wherever she waddled. It didn’t help that she had Sebastian and James wrapped around her tiny little finger. In their eyes, she could do no wrong. If I had to scold her, she looked around for whoever was nearest and burst into tears when they looked over. Sebastian couldn’t say no to her even if his life depended on it.

            “Don’t look at daddy, look at Uncle Chris.”

            “Dada.”

            We all gasped. “Stela, did you say dada?”

            Sebastian laughed and hugged his daughter tightly. “You said your first word, _draga mea_!”

            “Oh my God, look at your faces.” Chris laughed and knelt down to show us the picture he took just seconds after Stela spoke her first word. She looked absolutely precious as she smiled at Sebastian, while the rest of us were in complete shock.

            “That’s the one.”

            “Definitely, that’s a keeper.”


	23. Chapter 23

            I hardly even felt the winter chill creeping into the air. I was too warm on the inside to care about the potential of snow. Things were going so well in my life and I was so happy. It was as if I had my own personal sun in my heart, keeping me warm, as the days grew shorter.

           

            I was dozing off on the couch while Stela took a nap. I had my eye mask on to block out any sun coming from the window. I was only half awake when I heard the door unlock and felt someone tickle my feet.

            I giggled and squirmed. “Sebastian.” I reached up to lift up the mask but he grabbed my wrist to stop me. 

            “Wait a minute.” He murmured and grazed his fingertips up my legs.

            I bit my lip and wait patiently as he rested his hands on my hips and leaned over to kiss my forehead, my nose, both cheeks, and then down my jaw. His stubble scraped against my skin and made my toes curl. I heard him shift over and reach for something.

            “Marry me.” He whispered ever so softly into my ear.

            “What?” I tore off the mask, this time he didn’t stop me.

            Sure enough, he was on one knee in front of the couch. He had a dazzling ring in one hand. He smiled and tilted his head to the side. “So is that a yes?”

            “Wh…of course!” I tackled him to the ground, kissing him deeply.

            He laughed and pecked my lips a few times. “I was so nervous, I didn’t think you’d say yes.” He teased. 

            “Oh yeah, because we just have a kid and live together.” I snorted. "I never would want to marry you, that's ridiculous." 

            He smiled warmly and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. "God, you're so beautiful. You're going to look great in white." He sighed. "I dropped the ring, where’d it go?” He

            “Shit, sorry, I caught you off guard couldn’t resist.” I rolled off of him and looked around on the floor. “Did you hear where it went?”

            “I think it rolled somewhere.” Sebastian got on his hands and knees to look under the couch and then under the TV stand. “Oh shit…there it is.”

            “It went under there?” I used my phone as a flashlight and sure enough, it caught on the diamond's facets. 

            “Will your hand fit under there?” He asked. “Mine’s not going to. I could try to lift it and you can grab it. ”

            “Uh…” I tried to slip my fingers under the furniture but the gap was too small to reach that far back. “We’d have to unplug the TV and take it down. It’s too heavy…maybe James can do it.”

            “James?” Sebastian called.

            My son came walking out, his baby sister following him on her chubby little legs. “Dada!” She squealed and ran to Sebastian.

            “Hi, _draga mea,”_ he caught her in his arms and kissed her cheek.

            “Can you try to reach down there?” I asked, holding the light so he could see where the piece of jewelry was. “My ring fell and we can't get it.”

            He knelt down and tried to no avail. “Maybe Stela can, she's small enough.”

            I raised an eyebrow and looked at Sebastian. He shrugged. “Stela Bella, can you get mommy’s ring?” He set her down in front of the stand.

            “What’s under there, Stela? I coaxed. “Try to find it.”

            Stela, who was under the impression this was a new game, giggled and stuck her pudgy hand under the furniture. She pulled back and immediately tried to stick the ring in her mouth.

            “Ah, ah, ah, no…that’s an expensive teething ring.” Sebastian quickly grabbed it from her hand. "When you're older daddy will get you jewelry too." He promised. 

            “You did such a good job, Stela!” I cooed so she wouldn’t get upset over the ring being taken from her. "Aren't you just so helpful?" She giggled and clapped her hands together.

            “Crisis averted.” Sebastian smiled and slipped the ring on my left hand.

            “It’s beautiful.” The ring was simple but a lot more than I ever thought I'd wear in my lifetime. A large, round cut diamond sat mounted in the silver band with smaller diamonds encircling it. 

           “You two are getting married?” James asked. “That’s cool, it's about time.”

            “You want to help mom plan the wedding?” I grinned and reached for him but he jumped away before I could grab him and pull him close. 

            “No, that’s for girls.” He made a face and went to lie down on the couch. Stela stood up and followed him. It wasn't rare, she often trailed after him like a little shadow. She grabbed onto his hair, tugging mercilessly. “Stela, ow, don’t do that” He gently pried her fingers off.

            She whined and went to pull on his shirt instead. “Jay!” She pouted, trying to get his attention. She hated being ignored because it hardly ever happened. It was unheard of to her that she wasn't the center of attention at all times.

            “I’ll get him, Stela.” Sebastian stood up and grabbed James, flinging him over his shoulder.

            “Hey!” James laughed. “Stela, help!”

            The little girl screeched and latched onto Sebastian’s leg. “Jay!”

            “Oh no, she’s too strong.” He staggered over and dropped James back on the couch. “I’ve been defeated.” He picked up Stela and collapsed on the couch, squishing James between him and the cushions.

            “You guys are so lame.” James rolled his eyes but smiled as he freed himself.

            I smiled and went to sit down by Sebastian’s head, letting James curl up and rest on my lap. “You’re all so silly.” I stroked his hair back.

            “Well you made these two and you agreed to marry me.” Sebastian smiled up at me as Stela started to doze off on his chest.

            “Hm…that’s true. I made the right choice though.” I leaned down to kiss Stela’s head, Sebastian’s forehead, and then James’s cheek. “I love you all so much.”


	24. Chapter 24

            “Mom, they put the interview up.”

            “Oh, good.” I smiled and wiped my hands on my jeans. Stela and I were in the middle of painting when James walked into the kitchen. Sebastian was away on a press tour and we all missed him terribly. It was nice to watch some of the interviews he did just to feel a little closer to him between phone calls and Face Times.

            “Stela, baby, look.” I picked her up and sat down on the couch with her and James. He started the interview and held it so we could all see.

            “He’s starred in many Marvel movies and several Oscar-nominated films. From TV shows to the stage, he’s done it all, and is a father of two, Sebastian Stan.”

            I smiled when I saw him sitting there in his true form. I loved watching his work; he was always so passionate about it.

            “So you have a little girl, what’s parenting like compared to being an actor?”

            Sebastian chuckled. “It’s definitely two different jobs but you can incorporate some bits and pieces. My daughter is almost two and basically runs the household. She’s sort of like the director. She’s got an incredible imagination so you have to really set your ego aside and just be silly with her.”

            “And you’ve got your girlfriend and her son, it must be hard to be apart from them.”

            “It’s the worst but Gabrielle understands and the kids know I’ll always be back soon.”

            “Daddy…” Stela looked at the phone, clearly recognizing Sebastian.

            “Yeah, that’s daddy,” I said softly and kissed her hair.

            Her face scrunched up. “Daddy…” She started to sniffle and her eyes welled up with tears. “Want daddy home!” She suddenly burst out.

            I bit my lip. “He’s coming home this weekend, baby, that’s not too long,” I promised.

            “Want daddy home, now!” She wailed and started kicking her feet, nearly knocking the phone out of James’s hand.

            “Stela…” I sighed and stood up. “You can be upset but you can’t kick your brother.” I set her down on her feet.

            She dropped to the floor and began sobbing for Sebastian. “Now!” Now! Now!”

            I ran a hand through my hair and felt like crying too. Things weren’t easy when Sebastian was away. I’d been a single mother for so long, I assumed I could take care of everything on my own. But Stela was not as easy of a toddler as James was. She was very energetic and hated sleeping. It was often ten or eleven o’clock before I could get her to really get into bed. It was worse when Sebastian was away because she refused to go to sleep without him tucking her in. We tried having Sebastian Skype in during bedtime and even getting her a teddy bear with his voice prerecorded wishing her goodnight every time she pressed its paw.

            But nothing seemed to do the trick. Stela wore me out no matter how much I loved her. It didn’t help that James was getting into his teenage years either. He was openly defiant to me and would talk back to me if I tried punishing him. If anything, he responded better to Sebastian’s scolding than mine. So when Sebastian was away, James felt like he had free rein to do whatever he pleased without any consequences.

           

            I was at my wit's end when the phone rang. Stela was going on her second hour of the nonstop tantrum and I had to go into another room to hear the person on the other line.

            “Sorry, who is this?”

            “Hi, Miss Wilson, this is Heather from Memorial, the principal was hoping to have a word with you this week about James.”

            I looked confused. “About James? Is it regarding anything serious?”

            “It’s about a few things, mainly his absences and the fight from last week.”

            My jaw dropped and I wasn’t sure which to tackle first. “Wh-fight? He was in a fight? When?”

            “I-I’m sorry, Miss Wilson, I thought you knew. We called his other emergency contact last week when we couldn’t get a hold of you. Your boyfriend if I’m not mistaken.”

            “Sebastian?” I felt like the air was sucked out of my lungs. “You told him about it?”

            “Yes, ma’am, he said he would address it with the family. I’m sorry, I just assumed he told you.”

            “It’s not your fault…I would’ve assumed that too.” I grimaced. “What about the absences? He’s been going to school as far as I’m concerned.”

            “We’ve found him cutting class a few times. It’s just something the principal wants to talk to you about. Can you make an appointment to come in this week?” She asked.

            “Yeah, let me figure out when I can get my other one in daycare and let you know,” I said, wrapping up the conversation with the receptionist and hanging up. I was so upset I wasn’t sure who to start with. I left the room and found Stela had calmed herself down a little. At least that was one problem solved. I left her to play in the living room and strode down the hallway. “James Wilson.” I knocked on his door.

            “What?”

            “Come out here right now.”

            “I’m busy, mom. I’m playing Fortnite.”

            “Not anymore you’re not, I’m taking your electronics away from you. Now open the door and give me your laptop and phone.” I demanded in my best parenting voice.

            There was some quiet and then he opened the door. “I’m not giving you my phone.” He said grumbled as he relinquished his laptop.

            “Yes, you are.” I took the computer from his hands. “I’m the one paying for it so I can take it from you whenever I want. That's the way this works.”

            “Mom, I need it!” He began to raise his voice.       

            “Too bad! It’s funny how you know exactly what you’re getting punished for. You thought I wouldn’t find out, right?” I walked into his room and found his phone on his desk. “You’ll get these back in two weeks.”

            “Two weeks!?” He exclaimed indignantly. “That’s not fair!”

            “You’re preaching to the choir, buddy.” I retorted and went to lock up his electronics in my closet.

            “What am I supposed to do for two weeks?” He demanded.

            I was disgruntled to see some of his father’s entitled personality showing through. “I know it sounds strange but I’m sure you’ll survive. Now go play with your sister, I have to call Sebastian.” I said firmly.

            “I hate you.” James spat and retreated to his room, not listening to me at all.

            “Sorry to hear that.” I wasn’t too fazed to hear that. I’d heard it several times before. I dialed Sebastian’s number, hoping he wasn’t busy.

            “Hey, love.”

            “When were you going to tell me my son was in a fight at school?” I wasn’t in the mood for affection.

            There was a pause on the other end of the line. I’m sure he was thinking of the best thing to say. “Gabby, I didn’t mean to keep it from you…”

            “But you did.”

            “I did because I was already in Los Angeles when I got the phone call. I thought we could handle it when I got back.”

            “Sebastian, that’s not your judgment to make. Just because you're away doesn't mean you control the situation.” I retorted sharply. “If my son was in a fight I should’ve been the first one to know.”

            “They called me because you were working, I’m sorry. I just…I didn’t know how to tell you.”

            “You tell me because he shouldn’t think he can get away with stuff like that! It’s bad enough you’re gone and I’m at my wit's end because of these kids! Stela won’t stop crying for you and James is acting like I have no right to punish him!”

            He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

            “Apologizing doesn’t help anything, Sebastian, you can’t just keep apologizing.”

            “What am I supposed to do then? I can’t just magically bounce back and forth across the country.” He sounded just as frustrated as I was.

            “You need to be a father.”

            “I’m doing the best I can.”

            “Really? When I’m the one who has to stay up with Stela all night because she misses you so much? A father is there for his children.”

            “You knew what I did for a living you…”

            “Don’t blame this on me. Everyone just blames it all on me. I didn’t hear about the fight because I didn’t answer the phone, I’m the evil one because I took his phone away, and I’m bad because I can’t make you appear for Stela. Maybe this is your fault, Sebastian, not mine.”

            “I can’t talk about this right now, I need to leave.”

            “Great, that’s fine, just keep living it up over there. Pretend to be this perfect father for the cameras and have everyone adore you.”

            “Gabrielle, that’s not fair…”

            “Yeah, you’re right it’s not fair. None of this is fair!” I hung up on him and threw my phone on the bed. I felt too tired to even cry.


	25. Chapter 25

            I usually couldn’t wait until Sebastian got home from a trip. I’d count down the hours until he was home. But we hadn’t spoken since our fight over the phone, so I was dreading the reunion.

            I was dressing Stela in her pajamas after a bath when I heard the door open. Stela shrieked happily and ran out to greet him. “Daddy!”

            “Hey, _îngera_ _ș_ , I missed you!”

            I stood up and started to clean up the bathroom a little, biding my time before I had to face my fiancée. My stomach was in knots and everything I said to him kept echoing in my ears. I’d been so unforgiving. I took Stela’s towel to the laundry room and started to take out a fresh load from the dryer.

            “Alright, I’m sure mom said you could stay up until I got home, so let’s get you to bed.” Sebastian passed by the hall and brought Stela to her bedroom.

            I tried to keep myself occupied as I folded the clothes carefully, sometimes refolding a shirt a few times just to waste time.

            Less than a half an hour later, I heard Stela’s bedroom door close and footsteps came down the hall. I hoped maybe he would just go to bed and not try to talk to me at all. I deserved the silent treatment after everything I’d said to him.

            But instead, he came into the laundry room. “Hey.”

            I already felt like breaking down into tears. My lower lip trembled and I put down the washcloth I was folding for the third time. “Hi.” I finally got the word out without sobbing.

            But it was clear he could see my distress. “Gabby…” He walked over to me and gently pulled me into his arms.

            “I’m so sorry, you should be so angry with me.” I swallowed and felt my eyes stinging with the inevitable tears.

            “I’m not angry with you.” He sighed. “We both messed up. I should’ve told you about the call, that wasn’t right.”

            “I just got so overwhelmed. I thought I couldn’t handle the kids without you.” It was so comforting being near him again. I had been so worried for days that everything would come crumbling down. But I knew, being in his arms again, that everything would be okay. We could work through things just like we had in the past.

            “You can though. You’re a great mother, you can’t keep doubting yourself. You raised James on your own for nine years.” He reminded me.     

            “But Stela is so much different. She loves you so much more and I feel like I’m doing everything wrong with her. James won’t even listen to me anymore.”

            “Gabrielle, you know that’s not true.” He said firmly. “She loves you more than anything. And James is a teenager now; he’s going to be like that sometimes. We’re going to make mistakes but it doesn’t make us bad parents. We’ll learn and keep doing our best.” He stroked my hair back.

            “I didn’t mean what I said before. You’re the best father they could ask for, Sebastian.” I looked up at him.

            “I just feel guilty I leave you three alone.” He admitted quietly. “I wish I could be there for you all the time and…maybe I need to take a break.”

            “No, you don’t need to do that.” I shook my head. “We’ll work through this and make it easier for all of us. We just need to figure out ways to be closer even if you’re away.”

            He looked unsure but nodded. “Just know I would do anything for you and the kids.”

            “I know.” I hugged him close.

            He exhaled softly and buried his face in the crook of my neck. “I love you.” He murmured.

            “I love you too.” I was so relieved to make up after the fight. I ran my fingers through his hair. “I love you so much.”

 

            The next morning, after dropping Stela off at daycare, Sebastian, James, and I all took a trip to the principal’s office at his school.

            James sulked in the waiting room beside Sebastian. He had almost hoped Sebastian would bail him out of trouble but that was not the case.

            Heather at the desk stood up. “You can head in, he’s ready for you.”

            The principal, Mr. Bishop, was a kind-hearted man who was always looking out for the best interest of the kids at his school. But he wasn’t lenient when it came to discipline.

            “Miss Wilson, Mr. Stan, thank you for coming to meet with me. James, I’m glad to see you too.”

            My son sank lower into the chair and kept his eyes on his shoes.

            “Sorry for the delay, Sebastian was traveling,” I explained. “But we’re ready to handle it and see what we need to do.” I felt more confident as Sebastian’s hand rested on my knee.

            “Of course, I don’t want to just punish James, I want to see if there’s any root cause to his behavior in the last few weeks.” The man said understandingly. “James, if there’s anything you want to add to the conversation, you can talk to us.”

            He was silent as he continued to glare downwards.

            “James, if something’s wrong or there’s something bothering you, you know you can talk to us,” Sebastian said gently and rested a hand on his shoulder.

            James shook him away and went to stand up and leave. It was his main form of defense, I’d found over the past few months. If he didn’t like something he ran. He never faced his issues.

            “James, come on,” I begged.

            “There’s nothing to be afraid of, bud, you can be honest with us.” Sebastian reached out to grab his hand before he bolted.

            That seemed to set James off at full force. “You said you’d always be there for me!” He exploded out of nowhere.

            It startled everyone in the room but Sebastian looked especially taken aback. James hardly ever talked back to him or showed a bit of anger towards him.

            “I-I am always here for you.” Sebastian did his best to recover from the outburst.

            “No, you’re not!” James started to cry angrily. “You’re traveling or you’re working or you’re out with mom or you’re paying attention to Stela. You don’t care about me, you never have!”

            “That’s enough yelling…” I was stunned and tried to keep from creating a scene in the office.

            But Sebastian seemed more willing to take the verbal abuse. “I’m sorry I’m away a lot. I know it hurts your mom and your sister. I’m sure it hurts you a lot and it hurts me too. I miss a lot of important stuff and that’s something I can’t make up to you. But I’m doing my best to take care of you guys. I promised I would take care of you.”

            “You promised you wouldn’t abandon me like my dad did. Everyone is saying that mom is keeping me from my dad and that you don’t really care about me.” He hiccupped and his anger seemed to morph into vulnerability.

            “Is that why you got into a fight? They were talking about us?” I asked.

            “I don’t…I don’t want to be left again.” James rubbed his eyes. “I never even met my dad but it would hurt more if you just stopped caring about me.” He cried.

            Sebastian stood up and hugged him tightly. “I would never abandon you.” He promised. “I swear to God, I’m going to be here for the rest of your life, James, that’s something you can count on. I’m sorry I’ve been busy and I didn’t realize I was neglecting you. But I’m glad you’re telling me now. Of course, we can spend more time together, I would love that.”

            “You’d rather sp-spend time with m-mom and St-Stela.”

            “Nah, let the girls do their girly things. We can go do manly stuff like football. You, Captain, and I, we’ll have a guy’s night. Okay?”

            James sniffled and nodded. “Okay.”

            “But mom and I need to know that you’re not going to keep cutting class and getting into fights. If you have a problem with your classmates, you come to us or Mr. Bishop about it. You should apologize to your mom too.”

            “Okay, I’m sorry.” He mumbled and went over to hug me too. “I’m sorry, mom.”

            “It’s okay, baby, I love you.” I held him close. The weight off my shoulders was a huge relief and I felt silly to even question Sebastian’s parenting.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of bullying

            “Alright, what about this one?” I walked back out of the dressing room.

            “Oh my God, it looks like the last five you tried on. Literally, they all look the same.” James groaned and sank down on the couch.

            I was shopping for a wedding dress because we were just two months away from the big day. I brought along Isabel because she was my maid of honor and James because he was the best man. Sebastian was bringing Stela to a check-up.

            I smiled at James. “I’m sorry, baby, I know this is boring but I want your opinion too.”

            “You look nice in all of them you just have to pick one.” He replied.

            “This boy, oh my God.” Isabel cuddled him close. “You’re so precious.”

            James gagged. “You two are so gross.”

            “I’m going to get a veil to get the full picture.” Isabel stood up.

            “I think it’ll be more boring when you and Sebastian get your tuxes,” I told him.

            “It’s all boring. Why can’t you just get married in jeans?”

            I laughed and walked up to him sitting on the sofa by the mirrors. “Trust me, one day, when you find the perfect person you’ll want the perfect wedding.” I knelt down and touched his knee. “When you’re in love, you’d do anything for that person.”

            James squirmed a little. “Can you marry a boy? I mean, if you’re a boy too?” He asked. "Can two guys get married?"

            I was a little surprised and wondered if my son was coming out to me. It was completely out of the blue but I wasn’t angry. “Of course. Do you think you’d want to marry a boy?” I asked gently.

            “I dunno.” He shrugged. “I could marry a girl too, I guess. I like Katie but…” He was visibly uncomfortable so I tried to keep as calm as I could.

            “But…”

            “But there’s a new kid and he’s…I dunno. I’m really happy when we spend time together.” His eyes looked downward. “Does that mean I’m gay?” He whispered. “Because there are some boys who say being gay is bad.”

            “Oh, honey.” I touched his cheek. “Whatever you are is okay. You can like girls, you can like boys, and you can like both girls and boys. Whatever you decide is okay. Just know that whatever you feel is right, I won’t love you any less. I just want you to be happy.”

            He still looked unsure. “What about Sebastian?”

            “Same goes for him. He would never stop loving you. Love is love, James. When someone makes you happy, it doesn’t matter what gender they are. Your happiness is most important to me.”

            He smiled slightly and hugged me tightly. “I love you.”

            “I love you too.” I kissed his cheek. “Now who’s this boy?” I asked.

            He went bright red. “Gabriel.” He admitted shyly. “He moved from Nevada and he’s a really good singer. He's funny too, we have English and Math together. We always eat lunch together and he said I have pretty eyes.”

            “Well, I can’t wait to meet him. He sounds like a keeper to me.”

            “Mom, I’m not going to have you meet him, you’d just embarrass me.” He cringed at the idea.

            “No, I wouldn’t!” I protested. "I promise I'd be cool." 

            He rolled his eyes. “I like that dress.” He said. “I think Sebastian would really like it.”

            “Think so?” I stood up and turned around in a circle.

            “Yeah.” He smiled. “I think so.”

 

            Isabel offered to watch the kids so Sebastian and I could go out to dinner that night. I wanted to talk to him about a few things so I was glad for the opportunity.

            “So, James was asking about marrying another boy,” I told him.

            “Oh, wow.” Sebastian looked just as surprised as I had been. “So…did he come out to you?”

            “I think he’s still thinking through it.” I held his hand over the table. “But I just wanted you to know in case he comes to you about it. He was worried we wouldn’t accept him because I guess some boys were talking about it negatively.”

            Sebastian sighed and shook his head. “That’s stupid. You think in this day and age…”

            “They’re young, they’re probably afraid of something they don’t understand. I just hope they shape up, as they get older. The last thing I want is for…” I swallowed.

            Sebastian squeezed my hand gently. “It’s okay.”

            “I just don’t want him to be bullied for who he is.” I got choked up. “That’s not fair to him.”

            “I know. Kids can be cruel, I was bullied in school when I moved here.” He admitted.

            “What?” I raised an eyebrow. “You were?”

            He chuckled and shrugged. “I mean, I had an accent and I was a little heavier than when I was in college.”

            “You looked so cute.” I protested. “Why is it that the kids who are so nice the ones who are picked on?”

            “Because they’re the most vulnerable.” He pointed out. “I was an easy target. What were you like in school?” He wondered.

            “Me? I mean…I wasn’t really picked on. I wasn’t too popular though I just partied a lot. I was valedictorian though, despite that.

            “You never told me that.”

            “It’s not that important to me. How smart was I, I got knocked up freshman year of college?” I reminded him. “I was so close to dropping out.”

            “Doesn’t mean you weren’t smart.”

            “Mhm. I guess high school doesn’t matter too much later on. Doesn’t mean it’s not hard.” I stirred my drink slowly.

            “James will be okay.” He assured me. “If he needs to talk to me about anything, he can. Just know that if he wants me to keep a secret from you, I probably will.”

            “Not if he’s in trouble or in danger,” I replied firmly. "You need to tell me about stuff that might be threatening to him."

            “No, of course. I would tell you that stuff. But if he has a crush or anything…”

            “Oh, well I already know about his crush,” I replied confidently. “His name is Gabriel.”

            Sebastian groaned. “C’mon, he told you before he told me? I thought we were bros! That's not fair, we had guy's night, he could've told me then” He complained.

            “Mhm, but he’ll always be mom’s boy first.”

            He laughed and lifted my hand to kiss my knuckles. “I’m sure it’ll all work out. We’re a strong family.”

            “Yes, we are.” I smiled warmly and knew he was right.


	27. Chapter 27

            Life moved on at such a fast pace. I thought for sure it would just be James and me against the world. And then he would go out to conquer the world on his own so I’d be alone. I was partly content with that. The only downside was never having a father for James. Now I felt like he was set up for success I wouldn’t have to worry about being alone.

            I thought about this as I paced around in a small circle.

            “Mom, you can relax.” James was now fourteen and looked so grown up in a tuxedo. He was starting to look more and more like my father every day.

            “I’m not nervous, I’m…” I bit my lip and turned back to face him. “I’m excited it’s just a big step.” I touched his face.

            “We’ve been a family for a long time though, it’s just a piece of paper, right?”

            “And a big ceremony with all of Sebastian’s friends and family.” I sighed. It was hard to get my future husband to cut down on the guest list. I had a small family and a tight-knit group of friends. I didn’t feel the need to invite everyone I had ever come in contact with like Sebastian. But it was hard to say no to him.

            “It’s not about them though, it’s about you two.” My son shrugged. “Right?”

            I nodded. “And you and your sister.” I kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

            “Love you too, mom.”

 

            It wasn’t a difficult choice to have James walk me down the aisle. He was the number one man in my life; even Sebastian was second to him. My children came first no matter what. He wasn’t giving me away; he was walking by my side as I made this next step in our lives.

 

            Stela was clinging to Sebastian on the altar. She looked unfairly adorable in her baby blue dress and matching flowers woven into her dark hair. She was looking more and more like Sebastian every day. Her eyes were a beautiful cobalt blue and they always had a mischievous glint to them. She started bouncing on her tiptoes when she saw me.

            My eyes trailed over to Sebastian who was close to tears. He had a healthy glow to his face and looked just as happy as when he first held Stela. He seemed just as impatient as she was for me to reach them.

            Our ceremony was anything but traditional but so was our relationship. Towards the end, before we said our vows, Sebastian pulled out two bracelets from the inside of his jacket. He knelt down to come face to face with Stela.

            “Stela, my beautiful little girl, this is a promise from mom and dad that no matter what, we’re here for you.” He fixed the gold charm bracelet around her small wrist. “We love you very much.” He kissed her cheek.

            Stela giggled and waved her hand to make the charms jingle. Then she rushed over to me and I picked her up.

            “Isn’t that pretty?” I murmured and held her close.

            Sebastian stood back up and faced my son. “James, I remember meeting you as the shy little nine-year-old who loved superheroes. I can’t tell you how proud I am whenever I see you grow and succeed. Your mom and I love you so much and we can’t wait to see all the accomplishments you make, however small they may be.” He helped James slip the braided cord bracelet onto his wrist.

            The teenager swallowed back tears and hugged Sebastian tightly.

            We were a family and nothing would change that.

 

            As spring turned into summer, James approached Sebastian and me about something.

            “Gabriel was talking about going to Pride this year.” He revealed cautiously. He hadn’t gone too much into detail about his budding sexuality. He tiptoed around the topic even though he knew we were supportive. I wasn’t sure if he was still embarrassed or he simply didn’t want to talk about his love life to his parents.

            “The parade?” I asked glancing over at Sebastian with a small smile. “You two were going to go together?”

            “Not together…” James’s face turned pink. “I mean, yeah we’ll go but we’re not like _together-together_.”

            “Okay, okay.” I held up my hands. “Sebastian and I will go with you.”

            “What? You don’t have to go with me.” He gave me a look.

            “James, you’re too young to go by yourselves. I promise mom and I will keep our distance, we just want to make sure you stay safe.”

            Our son rolled his eyes but relented. “Fine.”

 

            Stela was enthralled by the energetic event. She was especially excited about all the free things she was getting. Just an hour in and she was covered in stickers, beads, streamers, and glitter. She couldn’t get enough of it.

            Sebastian and I were just as excited to meet James’s crush. Gabriel was just a hair taller than our son, with black hair and hazel eyes. He was nothing but smiles as he and James walked through the crowds together.

            We trailed behind him inconspicuously but of course, we were watching them for any signs that they were dating. Sebastian carried Stela on his shoulders as she took in all the sights. I lost sight of the two for a moment, and when they came back into view, I saw they were holding hands.

            “Sebs!” I squealed just over the noise of the crowd.

            He grinned when he saw them. “Called it.”

            “They probably feel safe here.” I pointed out. “I wish it was like that for them at school.” More of James’s friends were starting to notice he was spending a lot of time with Gabriel. The breaking point was when they went to a movie alone. James felt pushed away from the friend group but he mentioned he was starting to make new friends who didn’t seem to care. Several were on the football team and I urged him to try out now that he was in high school.

            We found a spot on the curb to watch the parade. James sat down between Gabriel and me. They had stopped holding hands but were touching shoulders.

            “Wait, I forgot something.” Gabriel reached into his backpack and pulled out some body paint. He carefully started to draw lines on James’s cheeks. “There you go.”

            James laughed and blushed. “Here let me do yours.” He picked out different colors and drew the same lines on his face.

            I felt a little out of touch because I wasn’t sure what the colors meant. I knew the rainbow flag but I’d been seeing a bunch of different color flags.

            “Alright, uncool mom, but can I know what the colors mean?” I wondered.

            James looked embarrassed beyond belief but Gabriel was a little more forgiving. “Blue, pink, and purple are the bi flag colors. Pink, yellow, and blue are the pansexual colors.”

            I was proud of myself to know what both meant. “I’m so proud of you two. Don’t let those stupid boys in your class change who you are.”

            James finally smiled at me. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Stan,” Gabriel said and gave him a shy look.

            “Beads!” Stela shrieked as more people handed her a bundle of beads.

            “Alright, sweetheart, you’re going to drown in beads if you keep getting more.”

            “More beads!” She demanded and tugged on Sebastian’s hair.

            “One more.” He tried to compromise and winced.

            “Two more!”

            “You’re not going to win this.” I reminded him and kissed his cheek. “But good try.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence, homophobic slur

            Sophomore year arrived for James and he had been dating Gabriel for most of the summer. It wasn’t a big secret either; they were trying to be upfront about who they were. But that didn’t come without consequences. I just hoped I could get him through high school without something bad happening.

            But that was ruined.

 

            One day in October, James returned home from school bloodied and with his eye blacked.

            I was in such a state of shock I nearly fell over. “James!” I gasped and rushed over to him. “What happened?”

            He hunched over and shook his head.

            “James, please, you need to tell me what’s going on.” I plead. “Should I bring you to the hospital?”

            “No, mom, I’m okay. I fell.” He muttered and limped over to the couch.

            “Bullshit.” I ran to get a wet towel and an ice pack. “You can’t keep this from me, who did this to you?” I demanded as I started to clean up the blood from his face.

            He winced when I brushed past the bruising around his eye. “I’m fine.” He kept repeating.

            “Put this on your eye.” I gave him the ice. “I need to call Sebastian.” I stood up and went into my bedroom to get my phone. My hands were shaking so badly as I called my husband.

            “Hey, babe.”

            “James just came home all bloody an-and he won’t tell me what happened. His eye is black and I think his nose is broken.” I sobbed.

            “What? Gabby, slow down. Is he okay?”

            “No!” I cried. “I don’t know what to do!”

            “Sh, take a deep breath. I’m a few hours away from home; I’ll be there as soon as possible. Help him and if he needs to go to the hospital, call me again and I’ll meet you there.”

           

            When Sebastian returned home that night, James was still recovering from his injuries. But he wasn’t telling me anything.

            I knew someone had purposefully done this. I just wanted to know who and where they were. His eye was black, bruising covered the right side of his face, his nose was broken, his stomach was bruised, and his hands were all scraped up.

            Sebastian knelt down in front of our son. “James, buddy, you need to tell me what happened. Whatever it was, we’ll handle it. I know you’re scared but you’re safe now. Mom and dad are going to protect you.”

            James was trembling as he held an ice pack to his abdomen. “Five guys…they just jumped me when I was walking home. I-I thought they were my friends.” His voice shook violently. “They kept calling me…” His voice cracked and he shook his head. Tears were in his eyes but it seemed like he was trying to hold them back.

            “What did they call you?”

            “Fag…” He whispered the word like it was physically painful to do so.

            Sebastian’s jaw tightened and he stood up. I could practically see the anger coursing through his veins. I didn’t blame him.

            “James, why don’t you go to your room and rest a little. Don’t worry about school tomorrow, we’re going to take care of this.” I tried to stay calm and restrained.

            He looked at Sebastian than me but didn’t seem to have the strength to speak. He stood up and limped to his room.

            Sebastian began to pace in the living room. “I want those punks expelled and I want them prosecuted.” His voice was like thunder as he steadily got more and more upset. “I swear to God if nothing happens I’ll make sure they regret it myself.”

            I wanted to agree with him but I didn’t want him to get in trouble too. “We’ll talk to the principal tomorrow and call the police.” I couldn’t stop crying and I could hardly stand anymore. “Oh God, I thought we could protect him.”

            He walked over to me and held me close. “We will…it’s going to be okay.”

            I let him hold me, my knees giving out. “They’re monsters…how could they do that to him?”

 

            The next morning, we took action. I called the police to make a report and scheduled to bring James down to show a detective his injuries. Sebastian called the school to meet with the principle.

            There was a knock on the door and I found Gabriel waiting anxiously. “James texted me, is he okay?”

            I let him inside. “He’s going to be okay,” I assured his boyfriend softly. “You can go see him, I’m sure he’ll want the company.”

            “I should’ve been there for him. He shouldn’t have had to face that alone.”

            “It’s okay, Gabe.” I rubbed his arm comfortingly.

            “I’m so scared, Mrs. Stan. I thought things were going to be okay.”

            “Don’t be scared.” I hugged him gently. “Mr. Stan and I are going to make sure this never happens again.”

 

            Sebastian was livid. He couldn’t even sit down so he resorted to pacing around the principal’s office. I tried being the voice of reason but it was hard not to blow up too.

            “What I want to know is how this school can allow kids to feel scared? I’ve already called the police and I will not stop until those kids are expelled.” Sebastian threatened.

            “I understand your anger and I’m assuring you that we’re going to look into it and take the necessary actions.” The principle replied steadily.

            “That’s not good enough,” I said.

            “That’s not even close to being good enough.”

            Mr. Bishop sighed. “They’re suspended for the meantime. We’ll work with the police and go from there. If you’re pressing charges then they’ll take care of most of it.”

            Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now how are you going to make sure my son feels safe at this school? His boyfriend too? We’re not in the 1950’s we need to make an example out of these kids so the rest of the school knows you won’t tolerate it!”

            “Sebastian.” I held out a hand and guided him back to the chair next to me. “You can understand how angry we are,” I said in a softer voice.

            “Of course, Mrs. Stan, I understand completely.” Mr. Bishop replied with genuine sympathy. “I promise I’ll do everything to make sure the boys feel safe again.

            “He’s fifteen, I shouldn’t have to pick him up from school to make sure he’s not jumped.” I swallowed my tears. “But if that’s what I have to do, I will. It’s not right.”

            Sebastian grabbed a tissue for me. “We’ll work with the school to make sure this is resolved, but the school needs to cooperate with us and the police.” He said, anger still lacing his voice.

            “We’ll do everything we can.”

 

            When we returned home, I went to check on James while Sebastian went to find Stela to bring her to daycare.

            I nudged open the door and found three sleeping figures in his bed.

            “Gabby, where is Stela?”

            “She’s with James.” I motioned for him to be quiet.

            Stela was curled up in James’s arms; Gabriel was asleep beside him, an arm tossed over his waist to keep him close.

            “Can you call daycare to tell her she’s staying home?” I whispered. I realized the whole family needed to stay in for the day and cope.

 

            Later in the day, I was making lunch. Stela and Gabriel were both visibly shaken. My daughter had no idea what was going on but the injuries on her older brother’s face scared her. But James hadn’t seemed to grasp the severity of the situation.

            I set a plate in front of him and kissed his forehead, making sure I didn’t brush up against any bruises.

            Sebastian walked into the kitchen, sticking his phone in his pocket. “The police have all of them in custody. James, you need to come with me to the station. They need you to identify them." 

            “I know who they were, I know their names,” James mumbled as he started to eat. He winced from the pain in his jaw.

            “I know, bud, they just need to make sure.” Sebastian rested a hand on his shoulder.

            James gritted his teeth. “I’m not afraid of them.” He muttered.

            “James…” Gabriel touched his arm.

            “Jesus Christ, I’m fine!” He snapped and shook all of us off of him. “I’m not dying, I just got a fucking black eye.”

            “Hey, don’t swear in front of your sister.” I scolded. “We know you’re upset, we’re all angry too.”

            “I’m not angry. I don’t care and I’m not afraid of them.” He insisted.

            “We know you’re not, and you’re not going to have to worry about them. Your mom and I are going to make sure they won’t come back to school.” Sebastian said quietly.

            “Can you stop treating me like I’m still nine?” James demanded and stood up, his chair nearly falling over. “I don’t care about any of this.” He said and retreated to his room.

            Stela was rattled by the ordeal and clung to Sebastian. “Daddy…”

            “It’s okay, _îngera_ _ș_.” He picked her up. “Let’s go watch TV for a bit, we can take your lunch.” He took her plate into the living-room, leaving Gabriel and me alone in the kitchen.

            “Can I ask a question, Mrs. Stan?” He asked quietly.

            “Of course, sweetheart.” I took a steady breath. My world wasn’t falling apart, we just needed to stick together as a family.

            “James seems to always push things away, things he doesn’t want to think about. I mean…you’re married so you know how relationships work. This is my first relationship so I guess I just wanted to know if there’s anything I can do.”

            I sighed and sat down across from him at the table. “You can’t change the person you care about. You can’t change anyone for that matter. You can only try to support them as best you can. James pushes a lot away, you’re right. Maybe he learned that from me, I don’t know. It’s not easy getting someone to open up about something so painful. It’s a delicate process. We all have our flaws and as long as we’re aware of them, it makes life easier.” I smiled weakly. “Sorry, I’m not great at life advice.”

            Gabriel nodded. “No, that helps.” He said. “I just wish I could take away his pain.”

            “I know. I do too. That’s what happens when you love someone, you can’t stand to see them hurt.”


	29. Chapter 29

            “Did you notice how Gabriel and I basically have the same name?” I scrubbed my makeup off my face, getting ready to head to bed. 

            Sebastian glanced over at me as he was in the middle of brushing his teeth. “You didn’t realize that ‘til now?” He gave me a strange look as if I were the one with toothpaste around my mouth.

            “I guess I was just excited James had a crush, I didn't make the connection.” I shrugged and dabbed some face cream on once I got rid of the last traces of my mascara.

            Sebastian rinsed the toothpaste out of his mouth but missed a little bit. “That was the first thing I thought of when we met him. I thought it was kind of funny.”

            “Alright, it took me a while but I see it now. It is funny.” I smiled and used my thumb to wipe the toothpaste off the corner of his lips. “If only your fans could see you like this.”

            “Human?” He chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "Not just a handsome face?" He teased. 

            “Domesticated.” I ran my fingers over the stubble on his cheeks, silently hoping he was planning on growing out his beard again. “A housecat, not a tiger.”

            He grinned and purred, pulling me close by my waist. “I’m not a housecat behind closed doors, Mrs. Stan, you of all people should know that.”

            “You’re more like…an old tiger in a sanctuary.”

            “Old?” He looked aghast. “You wound me, Gabby.”

            “Last time we had sex, you zonked out seconds afterward. You didn’t even cuddle with me.” I reminded him.

            “I was subconsciously cuddling with you. And you wear me out, I’m not old, I’m…well taken care of.”

            “I remember when we met.” I sighed wistfully. “You had stamina for days…”

            “We didn’t have a kid back then.”

            “That’s true. I had a better body back then.” I pouted, pretending to be hurt.

            “What, no, no, no, that’s not what I meant. You are still gorgeous. I’m saying we used to get more sleep than before.” He squeezed my hips and tilted his head to touch his lips to my neck. “You’re my beautiful, amazing, strong, sexy, alluring, attractive, goddess…” He kissed me between every compliment.

            “I was just kidding.” I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Stop flirting with me, we’re already married.”

            “Man, you know, when was the last time we took a shower together…”

            “Cut it out, you’re not getting lucky tonight, Sebs,” I replied with a playful look. “We need to get up early tomorrow, we can't stay up late.”

            Sebastian sighed and buried his face in my neck. “I want this to be over with.” He knew we had to meet with the principal and superintendent of James’s school the next morning. "I'm sick of trying to jump through hoops with them to get some justice for James. I just want it to be resolved." 

            “I do too, _dragul meu._ ”

            I felt the tension in his shoulder lift a little when he heard his little pet name I had learned. “I love when you call me that.” He murmured softly against my shoulder.

            “Well, thank your mother, I picked it up from her.”

            “Yeah, but it’s different when you say it.” He lifted his head. “It’s sexier.” He smirked.

            “Again, flirting’s not going to get you anywhere tonight.” I reminded him and tapped his nose.

            “Daddy!” Stela called down the hallway. “Story!”

            “Oh boy, I’m late for story time. Duty calls.” He pecked my cheek and headed to our daughter’s room.

            I smiled but I felt worried and anxiety over the next day. I was afraid the necessary actions wouldn’t be taken. I just wanted James and Gabriel, along with anyone else in the LGBTQ+ community in the school to feel safe.

 

 

            James was still skittish even a week after the attack. He stayed home, receiving homework from friends and mostly stayed inside. The weather was getting colder, but I still wanted to get him out of the house. I felt it wasn’t healthy for him to stay cooped up, afraid of the world.

            He wouldn’t admit he was afraid though. He kept trying to keep on a brave face.

            I poked my head into his room. “Hey, baby,” I said softly.

            James looked up from his phone. “Hey.” He nodded. The bruise around his eye was starting to turn yellow and fading. His nose and jaw were healing and thankfully he wouldn’t need surgery to correct them.

            “Dad, Stela, and I were going to go for a walk. Do you want to come? Maybe you can invite Gabriel to come along?”

            “It’s cold out, mom.”

            “That’s what jackets and gloves were made for.” I gave him a look. “Come on, Sebastian is dying to play football with you again.” I coaxed.

            He sighed and glanced down at his phone. “Alright.” His thumbs flew across the screen. “I’m asking Gabriel.”

            I smiled at my victory. “Alright, let me know what he says and we’ll go.”

 

            Stela held my hand tightly as we walked through the park. “Gabe, sing more songs for me.” She demanded.

            “Stels, you need to ask nicely. Gabriel is not your personal radio.”

            “That’s alright, Mrs. Stan.” Gabriel smiled. “I’ll sing for you later, Stela, okay? I’ll sing more Shawn Mendes for you, you like him don't you?”

            She sighed and gave in, something she rarely did. “Okay.” She agreed.

 

            We arrived at our favorite spot and I sat on my usual bench to watch the boys play. Stela sat on the grass next to me, waiting patiently for me to take out the Barbies we’d brought to keep her occupied.

            “Do you play football, Gabriel?” Sebastian asked and tossed James the ball.

            “No, I play soccer in the fall and baseball in the spring.”

            “So you’re coordinated with your feet and hands.” Sebastian nodded. “Impressive.”

            “I like watching James play though. He’s really good.” Gabriel smiled at his boyfriend.

            “You’re better at soccer, he plays striker and almost made varsity this year. He scores the most goals on the team.” He returned a goofy smile, totally smitten. I watched, glad that despite all James was going through, he didn’t break up with Gabriel. He stayed true to his heart and that was so important to me.

            “Well, we’d love to come to one of your games and support you. I promise we won't be embarrassing like we are at James's games.” Sebastian started tossing the ball back and forth with them both.

            I moved to the grass to play with Stela a little bit, letting the boys do their thing. After a while, Sebastian came and joined us. “Oh boy, those kids have so much energy, I can't keep up.” He groaned as he sat down. “I’m going to need some of that icy hot stuff on my shoulders.”

            “Aw, poor daddy.”

            “Poor daddy.” Stela mimicked.

            He chuckled and shook his head. “Maybe a kiss will make me feel better.”

            Stela reached over and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. “Love you, daddy.”

            “Oh, I feel better already, thank you, _îngera_ _ș_.” He smiled and lay down on his stomach to play along with the dolls. “This one’s a vet right? I forget her name.”

            “No that’s the doctor, Jenny. This one’s a teacher, her name is Becky.” Stela continued telling Sebastian each of the names and the professions her Barbie’s had.

            I glanced over at Gabriel and James. They were laughing as Gabriel tried to hog the ball away from him. James wrapped his arms around his waist and left a soft kiss on Gabriel’s cheek.

            It made my heart melt knowing they weren’t hiding. They were resilient and even if the world kept beating them down, they wouldn’t stop being who they were. I couldn’t have been prouder.


	30. Chapter 30

            “I’ve got…a little Stela on my shoulders. She’s eating popcorn…and I wish she would share.”

            Little, six-year-old Stela giggled. “No, daddy, I’m not sharing.” She informed him.

            “Tough luck.” I smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist.

            “I hope you don’t…spill any!” Sebastian started to shake her.

            Stela squealed and clung to her bag of popcorn. “Stop!” She laughed.

            “You two monkeys are too much.” I sighed and went to find seats in the bleachers. I helped Stela off Sebastian’s shoulders and held her in my lap.

            Sebastian reached into my bag and pulled out a blanket to wrap around us. “The football girls are ready for another season.” He kissed my cheek.

           

            James was sixteen and a rising football star. He started in varsity games and his coach promised he could get scholarships for college. We were all so proud of him but no one was prouder than Sebastian was. He did everything he could to help James. When he wasn’t working, he drove James to and from practice, helped him run some drills in his spare time, and the two always trained together. James wasn’t that big of a kid but he was fast fit well in his position of a wide receiver. James always said he was so fast because he often had to chase Stela down as a baby once she learned how to run.

            He was a good kid, a son any parent would be proud to have. He was handsome so he was very popular but he was still pretty shy. After what happened to him in sophomore year, he was still wary of his peers. But he found his niche friend group who supported him. He and Gabriel rebooted the GSA in the school and became ambassadors for speaking out against bullying.

            Sebastian was a good role model for him, I was sure of that. Family came first and as long as he tried his best, he would succeed. I felt so blessed knowing James was my son, Stela was my daughter, and Sebastian was my husband.

 

            “Do you remember what number James is?” I asked Stela.

            “Thirteen!”

            “And whose birthday is on the thirteenth?”

            “Daddy’s!”

            “You’re so smart.” I cooed and kissed her cheek.

            “Hey,” Gabriel arrived and sat down next to Sebastian. “I didn’t miss anything, did I?”

            “Nope, they’re just starting.”

            Gabriel and James chatted about how school was going as the whistle blew. I looked up as the play started; I kept my eyes fixed on James as he ran. He looked up, ready to catch the ball when a huge kid from the other team knocked him right off his feet.

            I jolted and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from gasping. I’d seen him get tackled a dozen times before but it never got easier. Especially this time, when he wasn’t getting up after the play was called.

            I instantly panicked and took Stela off my lap. I clumsily made my way down the bleachers, running to the field. I was in such a state of anxiety I outran the coach and the athletic trainer.

            “James, baby, I’m here.” I reached for his helmet to take it off.

            “Mrs. Stan, don’t move him!” The trainer yelled out as she ran over.

            “He’s not answering me!” I cried frantically. “James, please, mommy’s here just tell me you’re okay.” I put my hands on his shoulders.

            The trainer knelt down and started taking his pulse. “Call the ambulance over,” She instructed the coach. “Mrs. Stan, please move back, we’re going to bring him to the emergency room.”

            Sebastian ran across the field, Gabriel was following him with Stela clinging to him.

            “Is he okay? Is he awake?” Sebastian tried to hold me back.

            “Jamie!” Stela shrieked out of fear.

            “It’s okay, he’s going to be okay.” Gabriel tried to comfort her but he looked just as scared.

            The ambulance that was always at hand during the games back up to the field. Paramedics came out to secure James onto the stretcher, making sure his neck was stable before carefully removing the helmet.

            “Go with him, we’ll follow you in the car,” Sebastian said and took Stela from Gabriel’s arms.

            I rushed alongside the stretcher, hoping James would open his eyes any second and say he was just fine. But his eyes were closed, dirt and sweat streaked his face, and his body was limp. I stepped onto the ambulance and tried to stay out of the way of the paramedics. But it was unbearable to see my baby unconscious. I held his hand and closed my eyes, praying to whoever would listen to me and keep my little boy safe.

 

            “It’ll be a pretty nasty concussion. Football helmets are supposed to protect their heads but if they’re not fitted correctly or he gets hit the wrong way, it’s very dangerous.” The doctor informed us.

            I sat by the hospital bed, my hand in James’s

            “He should wake up in no time at all but it’s going to be a careful recovery. The school should be accommodating to his needs.”

            “Thank you so much,” I said quietly.

            Sebastian took a deep breath and sat down near James’s head. “I never thought this would happen.”

            “He’s never playing that sport again,” I whispered.

            “Gabby, I’m sorry, I feel like this is my fault.” He touched my shoulder. “I encouraged him to play.”

            “It’s not your fault.” I shook my head and looked at him with tears in my eyes. “I just don’t know why I can’t keep him safe. This is the second time that he’s been hurt.”

            “You can’t keep him in bubble wrap.” He reminded me. “It doesn’t make you a bad mother.”

            “It was an accident, Mrs. Stan.” Gabriel agreed.

            There was a soft groan as James shifted over. I straightened up, hoping he was awake.

            His eyes blinked a few times and he looked over at Sebastian. “Dad?” He whispered.

            He smiled and reached over to push his hair back. “Yeah, bud, I’m here.”

            “Dad, my head hurts.” James closed his eyes and let out a pained whimper.

            “It’s okay, it’s going to feel better soon,” Sebastian promised gently. “But I’m here. You can get some sleep if you need to. Mom, Gabriel, and Stela are all here. We’re not going anywhere.”

            “Okay…” That seemed to relax James and he drifted off back to sleep.

            For his entire life, I was the one who comforted James. When he was learning to walk and fell over, I was there to catch him. I patched up every scrape, bruise, and cut with a kiss. When he was sad, I was there to hold him.

            I looked over at Sebastian. Now he had a father to help me. It was all I had ever hoped for him, someone else who would care about him just as much as I did. I leaned over and rested my cheek on Sebastian’s shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed my temple.


	31. Chapter 31

            “Mom?”

            “Hey baby, can you hear me?” I walked out of the laundry room, a basket resting on my hip.

            “Yeah, I can hear you.”

            “How are you?” I felt my heart ache like usual when I heard my son’s voice. James graduated high school with honors. He was accepted to his dream college and graduated with a degree in marketing. He became an up and comer for marketing in TV studios. He lost touch with Gabriel when they broke up in their senior year of high school. But they rekindled the relationship when they realized they were going to the same graduate school. Now they were living together in Chicago, which seemed millions of miles away from me.

            I held the phone between my ear and shoulder as I folded laundry.

            “You’re sister’s acting up again.” I sighed as I hung up some of Sebastian’s dress shirts.

            “Well, I’ll talk to her, but she’s a teenager, mom, she’s supposed to act up.”

            “Mhm…it’s not easy when your dad is traveling.”

            “Yeah, we talked yesterday,” James replied. “I’m surprised he didn’t tell you the news yet.”

            “What news?” I paused by the bed.

            “Gabriel proposed.”

            I gasped and lifted a hand to my mouth. “Oh my goodness, no he didn’t!”

            “Yep, he did. It was really sweet too, just perfect.”

            “Oh, Jamie.” I felt tears in my eyes as I clutched the phone. “I’m so happy for you. You two must be so excited.”

            “We’re definitely looking forward to it.” James’s voice was full of joy. “I told dad yesterday and he promised not to tell you but I kind of expected he would because he’s so bad at secrets.”

            “No, he didn’t say anything. Oh, we’ll have to fly out to celebrate.” I said. “Maybe we’ll throw a party, you can invite all your friends and I’ll see if your grandparents will come out.”

            James laughed. “Okay, okay. You don’t have to get carried away. We can have a small get together.” He bargained.

            I sat down on the edge of the bed and touched right over my heart, “James, I’m so proud of you. You’ve found real happiness and that’s all I ever wanted for you.”

            “Well, I couldn’t have done it without you, mom. You and Sebastian let me be myself.”

            “But you were so brave, much braver than us.” I bit my lip. “I’m just so happy.” My voice broke.

            He sighed softly. “Mom, you don’t have to cry. It’s okay.”

            “I know, I know.” I laughed weakly and dabbed at my eyes. “Anything you want for your wedding you can have,” I promised. “Your dad and I won’t spare any expenses.”

            James chuckled. “I kind of figured but it’s okay. We don’t want a big blowout. We just want friends and family to be there in a small ceremony.”

            “Okay, whatever you want we’ll make it happen.”

            “Our friend already wants to be a surrogate for us.” He laughed. “I think she’s getting a little ahead of herself but it’s nice to think about. Gabe and I are just too busy right now.”

            “You’ll know when the time is right.” I didn’t want to say I wanted grandchildren right after the wedding even though I did. I didn’t want to rush them.

            “So, I had something else to tell you.” His voice changed dramatically. It sounded smaller and hesitant.

            “Okay…”

            “My father reached out…I mean my biological dad, Nick.”

            “Oh.” It was out of nowhere. I hadn’t heard from Nick for years. James didn’t show any interest in meeting him even after he turned eighteen. I knew from the grapevine that Nick and Jessie had three kids together, James’s half-siblings.

            “Sorry, I didn’t want to upset you.”

            “No, I’m not upset.” And I wasn’t lying to him. There was no reason to be upset. Neither of them had reached out to me since the last public debacle after the custody case was finished. It seemed they knew when they were beaten. They hadn’t interfered with my life and vice versa. I was happy with my own husband and my own children. And it sounded like they were happy with their family. It had been too long to hold any grudges.

            “We talked for a long time. I don’t know if he’s changed that much but he sounded sorry about what he did. He said he was upset that he hadn’t been in my life but he didn’t blame you, which is what I was sort of expecting.”

            “Well, …that’s different.” I agreed. The Nick I knew would blame everything on me until he was hoarse.

            “Yeah, I thought so too. I offered to meet him. He wanted me to meet my half-siblings too.”

            “I think that’s a good idea,” I reassured.

            “I’m scared.” He admitted.

            “I can imagine. But you need to build ground rules for him so you feel comfortable. This needs to be on your terms, not his.”

            “That’s what Gabe was saying. We kind of worked on what I wanted to say. I wrote some stuff down.”

            “That’s good. It’ll be easy to get your thoughts together beforehand.”

            James was quiet on the other end of the line for a moment. He took a deep breath. “I kind of feel like a kid again, before dad came into our lives. I wanted to meet Nick but I didn’t at the same time. Now I’m going back to that and it’s sort of pathetic.”

            “It’s not pathetic,” I said gently. “James, it’s okay to feel scared. Do you think you would want Gabe to come with you? I’m sure he would and maybe that would help you feel safer.”

            “We talked about that. We’ve talked about it a lot. I guess it’s just a matter of time before I decide.”

            “Well, your dad and I are here to support you.”

            “I know…I know.” He sounded deep in thought.

            I wasn’t sure what I could say to reassure him. When he was a child, I could protect him and I made the decisions when it came to Nick. But he was an adult, almost twenty-five-years old. He needed to make his own choices and I couldn’t protect him as I wanted. But I felt assured knowing he had Gabriel to comfort him like I had Sebastian to comfort me.

 

            Sebastian came home a few days later. Stela wasn’t grounded anymore from her last slip up so we let her go to a friend’s house for the night.

            But Sebastian was on edge. He felt like he was losing control over her. And it wasn’t because he felt the need to be domineering over her it was because he felt helpless when it came to protecting her. Of course, we didn’t love her any less when she screamed at us and told us she hated us and wished we were dead. She could yell at us all day as long as she was home. When she went out, that’s what scared us the most. The more I heard about violated and even murdered young girls, the more I feared for Stela’s safety. But it was hard to keep her in our grasp even as we set ground rules. She snuck out if she didn’t get her way and we’d had to report her missing over four times.

            The last thing I wanted was to call the police on her and get her in trouble. But knowing she was safe in their custody was better than not knowing where she was.

            It didn’t help that Sebastian wasn’t handling it very well. He traveled less than he used to but he still didn’t deal with her on a daily basis as I did. When she got in trouble, he yelled at her and laid down the most severe punishment he possibly could. I knew that if he had the choice, he would walk her to and from school, check in with her every hour, and lock her in her room for the rest of the day. But I knew that would only make her rebel more.

 

            As the time neared Stela’s curfew, Sebastian paced by the foot of the bed. I sat up, trying to read but it was hard to concentrate. I was just as worried as he was.

            “She promised.”

            “I know.” I sighed and stuck my bookmark in between the pages. “Maybe she just lost track of time.”

            “Sure, just like every other time.” He said through gritted teeth. “Gabrielle, I can’t take this anymore.”

            “I know.” I bit my lip.

            The teenager had made him age at a much faster rate. I could stand seeing him so tired and stressed. It made me feel like I had no control over my own family anymore. I didn’t want to blame Stela but I wanted to blame someone. I usually focused on her friends. They were bad news, always getting her into trouble, and introducing her to dangerous things.

            “Maybe it’s time to pull her out of that school,” I suggested.

            “She’ll still see them.” He shook his head.

            “Maybe she needs to go to Chicago for a little bit, live with Gabriel and James.”

            “Yeah, so we can pass off the little hellion to them? I’m sure they’ll be grateful for that.”

            I felt anxious at the idea of sending her away. But we couldn’t uproot our lives either. “Maybe…maybe she needs to go to boarding school then.”

            The pain in Sebastian’s eyes was evident. The idea of sending away his baby girl was unbearable. “She’ll hate me.”

            “Maybe she will at first but she’ll never stop loving you, Sebs, you know that.” I murmured and held out a hand to him.

            He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He leaned into me, resting his cheek on my shoulder.

            I ran my fingers through his hair to soothe him. “Maybe one day she’ll thank us. The way she’s going…if she keeps at it we won’t be able to save her down the line. It’ll only get worse so we need to stop it now.”

            He closed his eyes. “I don’t want to lose her.”

            “If we don’t intervene then we will lose her.”

 

            Stela snuck into the apartment three hours after her curfew. Sebastian was waiting for her.

            I sat at the kitchen table, too tired to take the lead.

            “You’re late.” Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest.

            “Whatever.” Stela rolled her eyes and started to head down the hall to her room.

            “Ah, ah, ah, we need to talk.” Sebastian blocked her path.

            “About what?” She already looked ready to explode.

            I stood up just waiting for the lit match to hit the gasoline.

            “We’re pulling you out of school and sending you out of state.” Sebastian tried to stay firm in his voice.   

            Stela stared at him. “No.” Her voice rose a little.

            “You can say no all you want but you have no choice in this,” I spoke up. “Your father and I are tired of your behavior. You need more structure and you need to get away from the city for a while.”

            Stela looked like a trapped animal. “I’m leaving then.” She pushed past Sebastian.

            “And where do you think you’re going to go?” He followed her.

            “I don’t care! I’m not staying here!”

            “You’re a minor, the police will just keep bringing you back. Or they’ll send you to juvie. Instead, your mother and I are offering you a better chance at a nice school.”

            “Go to hell.” Stela spat at him.

            “I can choose where I go because I’m an adult, but you’re going to boarding school. I won’t sit around and watch you mess up your chances at success.”

            “You can’t do this! You can’t tell me what to do!” Stela started to shriek.

            “I’m your father, I can tell you anything.” Sebastian stuck a foot in the door before she could slam it on him. “Phone, laptop, now. I paid for them, they’re mine. Your so-called-friends aren’t coming near this apartment so don’t even try to contact them.”

            “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” Stela screamed and tried to push her entire weight against the door to shut him out.

            “That’s so sad to hear because I love you so much. I love you enough not to let you throw your life away!” Sebastian yelled back at her. “You’re a beautiful young girl who has so much potential. I’m not letting you become some homeless drug addict!”

            “I can do whatever I want!”

            “No, you can’t! Now give me your phone right now!”

            Stela threw her phone at the hallway wall, shattering the screen. “There! I don’t want your money! You don’t fucking care about me anyways!” She finally managed to push him out and slammed the door.

            “If you sneak out, I’m calling the police and I’m telling them to lock you up! I won’t pick you up again!” Sebastian shouted. “You want to live like this? You better get used to jail because you’ll either end up there or dead!” He turned and went into the bedroom.

            Rattled by the argument, I followed him. “Sebs…” I whispered.

            He sat on the bed, crumpling in on himself. His shoulders heaved as he cried.

            I sat next to him and held him close, letting him lean on me.

            “I don’t know what happened.” His voice cracked. “I never saw her turning out like this. I don’t want to bury her, Gabby, I can’t.”

            “We’re not.” I soothed but my body was trembling. “We’re going to get her help. We’ll do everything we can. I promise.”

           


	32. Epilogue

            “Remember when you were looking for your wedding dress?”

            “Of course, that’s when you first told me about Gabriel.” I smiled.

            “I was afraid that…I wouldn’t be able to be happy. If I could get acceptance for who I was.” My son looked down as he buttoned up his shirt. “Not necessarily from you and dad but from the world. But you helped me realize that I don’t need acceptance from the world.”

            I stood up and walked over to him, kissing his cheek. “You’re perfect the way you are. Your happiness is the thing that matters.”

            “Gabriel said he wanted to see me walk down the aisle.” He told me. “So will you walk me down the aisle, mom?”

            I swallowed as I became choked up. There was no doubt that it wouldn’t be the last time I would cry that day. “Of course, baby.” My lower lip quivered.

            James smiled and shook his head. “Mom, don’t cry.” He had to bend down a little to hug me since he had gotten so tall.

            “I’m not crying. I’m just too happy to contain myself.” I sniffled and hugged him back tightly.

            The door opened and Sebastian and Stela came in. “Jamie!”

            “Stellie.” James let me go so he could hug his sister.

            “Be careful of your dress, Stela,” Sebastian warned and walked over to me. “Crying already?” He teased.

            “Shut up, I’m allowed to cry.” I prodded him in the side. “You cleaned up nicely.”

            “I try my best. I’m ignoring the gray hair I found this morning in the mirror.” He made a face.

            “Well, you’re familiar with hair dye.”

            He chuckled and kissed my cheek. “Old married couple.”

            “You’re old, not me.”

            “Mhm. Our son is getting married, we’re old.”

            There was another knock at the door and I went to open it. It was a jolt of surprise to see Nick standing there. He smiled sheepishly.

            “Hey, Gabrielle.” The arrogance that seemed to be permanently etched in his voice had disappeared. It was as if he was walking into the wedding with his tail between his legs. I knew that was because James had set some firm ground rules. A few months before the wedding, he met with Nick. They had a lot to talk about but James seemed to be grateful for the chance to heal a big part of his life. He met his half-siblings and welcomed them into his life. I did my best to prepare myself. James set one rule for Sebastian and me.

No fighting.

            I would never ruin my baby’s wedding but seeing Nick stirred up some hurt feelings that I was still working through even decades later.

            “Hi, glad you could make it,” I said even though the words sounded foreign. I _was_ glad he was there and didn’t miss out on something so big, especially when he missed everything else in his life. It would be devastating to James if Nick abandoned him again.

            “Yeah, I’m really glad James invited me.” He cleared his throat and his eyes followed Sebastian as he walked over.

            “Nick.” Sebastian held out a hand as a symbol of peace.

            “Hey, man.” Nick gratefully shook his hand, a bit of relief passing over his face.

            Sebastian was a little thinner than when he was in his Bucky Barnes days, but we all knew he could still hit hard. “Thanks for coming, I’m looking forward to meeting the kids, James talks about them a lot.”

            “Yeah, they’re all outside. They couldn’t wait to come, they love James already.” He smiled and shifted back and forth on his feet. “Look, I just wanted to apologize for everything we went through.”

            I sighed. “Nick…you don’t need to…”

            “No, I need to because I put you through too much. Listening to James talk about how he felt…it made me realize how much damage I did. I really tried to do what I thought was best. I thought I was entitled to being in his life even after what I did. So, I’m sorry. I wish I could go back and just be there for him from the start. I wouldn’t have missed out on so much. But that’s something I have to live with. Gabby, I don’t blame you.”

            I didn’t realize how much of a burden was lifted when I heard him say those words. “I-I appreciate that,” I replied honestly.

            “I just wanted to thank you, Sebastian, for being there for him. He talks very highly of you and I know you’ve done nothing but care about him.” Nick continued. “He’s a good kid and I know it’s because of you two. I just wish I had the chance to know him as you two do.”

            I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew I couldn’t imagine being absent during my children’s lives.

            “Hopefully you two can have a relationship from now on,” Sebastian said quietly. “I know he’d appreciate that.”

            “That’s what I’m hoping too. Just…thank you.” He nodded and stepped back. “I should get back out. Tell James I said good luck.”

 

            James was breathing slowly as he stood next to me. “Mom…everything you gave me. Everything you did for me. You’re the reason I’m here. You’ve given me so much.”

            I dabbed at my eyes. “All you have to give me is grandchildren. And lots of them.”

            James laughed. “Don’t worry, Gabe is already looking into adoption and surrogates.”

            “Good.”

            “I just had one question and this might not be the time or place but I’ve wanted to know for a long time. When we met Sebastian on the subway. He knew your name. How did you know him before that?” He asked.

            “Oh, we had a one-night stand,” I answered honestly.

            He snorted. “Oh my God, that’s what Gabe said but I didn’t believe him. Gross, I should’ve realized.”

            “I think yours and Gabe’s story is much more romantic,” I admitted. “But I wouldn’t change it.”

            James laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, I guess I wouldn’t either. But don’t tell me anything else, too much information already.”

            The music started and I wrapped my arm around his, slowly leading him outside to the garden. A lovely setting waited for us, with James’s future standing on the altar.

            Gabriel had a huge smile on his face and tears in his eyes when he saw James walked out. He laughed and covered his mouth too overwhelmed.

            I could practically hear James’s heart beating. “This is happening.” He whispered.

            “You deserve this.” I murmured and stopped in front of the altar. I kissed his cheek and let go of him.

            I stood beside Stela and Sebastian already waiting at the altar too. Sebastian wrapped an arm around my waist and smiled warmly.

            “Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to witness the union of these two men in holy matrimony…”

 

            I laughed softly as James picked up Stela and spun her around on the dance floor. I sat beside my husband, our hands intertwined.

            “She looks so much happier,” I commented softly.

            “I think we made the right decision.” Sebastian agreed. “I’m so proud of her.”

            I nodded and rested my cheek against his shoulder. “I think we did pretty well.” I murmured. Once James had announced he was getting married, I became more introspective about my life. Sebastian and I were older, just celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. There was more than enough time of our relationship review it. We had ups and downs but I knew that a relationship was never perfect. I had the closest thing to perfect as far as I was concerned. I glanced up at him and smiled.

            His eyes found mine and returned the smile lovingly. I adored the way he looked at me. Like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Even after all the time we’d been together, it never faded.

            “Do you know what I thought when I woke up after our first night together and you weren’t there?” He asked out of the blue as if he knew I was thinking about our past together.

            “No.”

            “I felt like I had let something so good slip away. In that bar, I was convinced I had found the person I wanted to learn everything about. I wanted to know every inch of you, inside and out. So when I found my apartment empty…I wondered if I was just being too optimistic. Then I saw you on the subway…I didn’t want to let go of that feeling. God…I don’t think I’ve finished learning everything about you. Every day, I want to see more of you. I want to bear my soul to you and let you have every piece of me. Anything you wanted, I wanted to give it to you. Gabrielle, when I wake up next to you, you make my heart ache so much because I didn’t think I could be so in love with someone. And…” He rubbed his thumb over the top of my hand. “And every time I have to be away from you is like I’m missing out on something. I don’t want to miss anything. I want to get to know every part of you. Because I’ve never loved anyone or anything as much as I’ve loved you. And I know that feeling will never fade.”

            I leaned up to press my forehead to his. “You can have me for the rest of our lives. You have my heart, Sebastian, and I never want you to give it back to me because you’re the only one I trust it with. I know you’ll keep it safe.”

            He bit his lip. “And you have mine. I don’t want it back either. I’ll give myself to you. I’ll keep you safe. My vows are for life.”

            I didn’t feel like crying. I wasn’t overwhelmed. I was comforted in the warm embrace of his love. I held his hand firmly and took a deep breath. “I love you.” The words had never lost any meaning. They weren’t watered down from how many times I told him those three words. Every time I spoke those words I meant them in their entirety.

            “I love you too.” He kissed my forehead.

            We looked up again to see Gabriel twirling James around and dipped him back to kiss him tenderly. Stela made a gagging noise and looked back at us. She made a face.

            “They’re so gross!” She yelled over the music.

            Sebastian and I laughed. “You’ll understand one day,” I replied.

            “Blech.” Stela rolled her eyes and returned to the dessert table.

            James and Gabriel parted looking into each other’s eyes with a familiar look of love. I knew they had something special. It wasn’t hard to tell by the way they gravitated towards each other in every way possible.

            “So…grandchildren?” Sebastian asked.

            “I asked, don’t worry, we’re set,” I promised.

            “Good. Because we’ll be the best grandparents.”

            “The best.” I smiled at the man I knew so well. The man who had given me so much. He was more than an actor, a father, and a husband. He was everything to me.


End file.
